What are my options?

My husband and I reside in NC. We are expecting a baby in Feb. I want to leave bad situation. Do I have to get his or the courts permission to move out of state? I want to continue to live in the state I move to which would be almost impossible for him to see the child - 500 miles away. I was told by a friend that if I changed my name to my maiden name and gave the baby my maiden name and declined any child support from him then he would have no say. Am I obligated to stay in NC? What are my options?

The courts do not recognize your unborne child yet. Once you have given birth, yes. There is no reason why you can't leave now. Actually it would be easier to leave now before the baby is born. In some states, you can not get a divorce while you are pregnant. If you file for a divorce before the baby is born, it has to be documented that you are pregnant and the divorce could not be finalized until after the baby is born. Some states will allow it to be finalized before the birth, then after the birth there would be the issue of child support and visitation.

Since the child was concieved during the marriage, the child is automatically considerd your husbands. The only thing that can change that is if he truely was not the bio dad, then you would have to prove through DNA who the real father is. You can take your maiden name back, but the baby will still be your husbands child unless he wants to sign away all parental rights to this child. So, do you think he would do that? If not, he will be a part of this childs life from now on. He has just as much rights to the child as you do because the child was born of the marriage. If you were not married, and he wanted visitation, he would have to petition the courts declaring he was the father.....whole other issue.

I'm not absolutely sure about this...IAAl would know....but, if you were to move now and have the baby in another state, the baby's residence would be considered that state, that state would then have jurisdiction over visitation and child support. Your husband would then have to petition the courts there for his rights to these matters.

As for what state to file divorce in.....????
Well, IAAL....need your expertise on this one. My inclination would be.....move first, have the baby in the new state, then file for divorce. It seems to me if you do this, that state would have jusdiction over both the child issues and the divorce proceedings. If you file in the state where you live now, that state will always have jursdiction over divorce issues and may not allow you to leave the state until the child is born. It usually takes 6 months to claim residency in a new state before that state has jusridiction over child support and visitation issues. So if the child was born in that state, I believe there would not be residency issues. ( I'm not 100% sure of this last paragraph, I'm not an attorney, and on this last issue, an attorney could clear these issues up for you. IAAL is working on a case and is not frequenting the sight as much right now. Be patient and hopefully he'll see this post and clear up what I could not. )

Good Luck and God Bless to you and your child!

Keep me posted.