Who's financially responsible for visitation transportation costs?

[Parent1]

MI

Who is responsible for financial costs associated with transportating the minor child out of state and back again for the non-custodial parents visitation?

I have had sole custody of our daughter for about 17 months now. The court directed my ex to pick up and return our daughter to my residence for visitation purposes. This has occured for well over a year now.

Shortly after our divorce was final, the ex moved to Chicago and married a very, very wealthly person. This was no surprise. So for months now, every other weekend (except summer months) the ex flies into Detroit, gets a rental car and drives about 25 minutes to my home to pick up our daughter. They then fly back to Chicago and repeat the entire process again on Sunday evening. That's a lot of money you might say! Well, money has never been a problem as they can afford it. I know I couldn't.

I even agreed to reduce the amount of child support that was ordered by the Friend of the Court by 50%. This was primarly because the Ex quit working! Walked right off the job after eight years. I guess there was no sense in working when you have all the money you need following the marriage.

I even agreed to pick up and return our daughter to the airport which would have eliminated the rental car expense. But apparently that wasn't enough.

The ex has now filed a motion in Court asking that I pay 50% of all cost associated with transportation. This is scheduled for next month. I realize that it is up the the Judge once again, but I am curious as to whether or not there is any case law or history in such a case.

Obviously your comments are welcome too. Let me know what your arrangements are for visitation if your ex is out of state.

Thank you
Parent1
Michigan

[This message has been edited by Parent1 (edited July 25, 2000).]

 

[usdeeper]

Your ex has made a big mistake…

First question, was the reduction in Child Support court ordered or just verbal ?

The fact that he left the state means that it is highly unlikely that you would be made to pay for any travel costs. What should annoy you most is that you actually went out of your way to compensate him for his trouble despite him now having money. He now wants more and even though he knows you can not afford it, he is dragging you back to court.

The Child Support should not have been reduced and I can only think it was a verbal agreement as a court would not normally have allowed it since HE QUIT a good paying job of 8 years. If the agreement is verbal, then inform him that he should resume the correct payment as ordered by the courts. You can also be mean if you want and ask for back payments.

Second, stop taking the child to the airport, he does not deserve it. Make him get a rental car.

Third, get an attorney to defend this action. I presume the action has been filed in a Michigan court?. Ensure that you instruct your attorney to ask the court for him to pay all legal fees.

Bottom Line, the previous court order instructed him to pick up and return to your house, he then moved out of state. He is responsible for 100% of the travel costs.

What county are you in ?

Sorry if this posted twice.. my first reply disappeared..

 

[Parent1]

#1. I agreed to a reduction in support do to the lack of a real job.

#2 I offered to pick up and return our daughter to the airport, thus eliminating the rental car cost.

#3 This case is in Monroe County, Michigan.

Finally, the non-cusdodial parent is my ex-wife! Yes, father's sometimes do get custody and in this case it was truly in the best interest of our daughter. Obviously it cost several thousand dollars and went all the way to the Michigan Court of Appeals. I am however very grateful!

 

[tgabriel]

I love it! Our society has become a bunch of maternal chauvenists. We naturally assume that custodial=mother and non-custodial=father. Therefore, coming to the conclusion that the non-custodial parent is irresponsible and selfish and the custodial parent is the suffering saint. It's easier to believe these misconceptions if we believe in the above equations. I wonder if the first response would have had the same tone had they known you were the father. Although, I do agree with their content. If your support agreement was verbal, your ex is still legally responsible for whatever the court has filed as the agreement. Make this fact known to your ex to point out that you are already being as generous as you can. Then reaffirm with her what is most important is your child's emotional well-being and not the money! You have already proven that you know this. Standing ovation and applause to you!

 

[usdeeper]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tgabriel:
I wonder if the first response would have had the same tone had they known you were the father.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Too right.. I hate to see example of people being totally selfish continually using legal action to get every scrap of money/rights.

The advise is still the same..

#1: Raise the child support back to the court ordered amount. She quit a paying job of 8 years. Legally it is highly unlikely any judge would reduce this.

#2: Make her get the rental car again. I know this could be petty, but she is the one who started this pointless legal action depite the good nature of the poster.

#3: Get an attorney and have this thrown out. With the original order and the fact that she left the state, she is unlikely to get any joy in court.

#4: Ensure you make her pay for all legal costs.


I am also in the middle of a pointless legal action brought about my a selfish pig who if thinking more of his financial gain that the best interest of the child. Make them pay for their ignorance.

 

[Parent1]

It's good to know that I'm not being unreasonable here. I have always tried to keep the best interest of our daughter at the fore front, something many people have a problem doing.

Thanks!

 

[wendyt]

My fiance has custody of his son. His ex decided to move to another state and he has to pay for half of the transportation cost when he goes to visit her for 6 weeks in the summer. Visitation goes back and forth for the holidays and we do not have to pay for the holidays - just for the summer. I don't think it is fair since she is the one that decided to move out of state. Your case is somewhat different since the child visits often. That is not right for you to have to pay that often. I would definitely get something on paper. Good luck!!!

 

[Parent1]

Thank you tgabrial. Yes - sometimes we do draw conclusions. Although it is unusual for a father to get custody, it does happen. I thank God for his blessings.

My message is to all parents! Remember to always do what is right and to set good examples for your children. KEEP THEIR BEST INTEREST IN MIND ALWAYS! Children are usually victims in divorce and sometimes it turns out to be such an ugly situation. It is very difficult to raise a child by yourself. It would have been much easier for me if I would have just turned my head, walked away or agreed. But I could not walk away from my daughter. I had to fight for her and for what I believed in. In the end she (my daughter) won. You see, it's not about us! Me or you. It's about the children!

Thanks again!

 

[newmom]

Just a little note, sort of off the subject, it's a small world on this big ole internet. I am in Lenawee County - Howdy neighbor Just to offer a friend, if you ever want to talk, [email protected]. Good luck in your situation, even though I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

[Parent1]

Hey Newmom,

Thanks for the encouraging words. Sounds like you're pretty close too. I will take the opportunity to follow up with you. However, I'll be out of town for a few days. Keep everyone else in line for me while I'm gone. Thanks again!

------------------
Parent1
Michigan

 

[LK]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Parent1:
It's good to know that I'm not being unreasonable here. I have always tried to keep the best interest of our daughter at the fore front, something many people have a problem doing.

Thanks! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I applaud you on your thinking here. I did the same with my children. My ex did not pay me support for several years and lived out of state. I tried to make things easier for him only so that my girls could know their father. Money is no way the issue, and if fact, his attorney got him out of a lot of support that he should have paid. I never increased his support, for 2 children, he was only ordered to pay 50.00 per week. When the youngest turned 16, thats when I went after him. He and his attorney fought me tooth and nail for every penny. The girls are now 22 and 19 and he will be paying support for years yet. God bless and good luck