Fiance wants to use my son as dependant

[irsos]

Dependent

Mo, I was thinking the same thing... I get the picture that the fiance is selfish and controlling. If they are in an honest and loving relationship, it should not matter that she is claiming HER child. She works and brings home $$$. If they are a couple living together and having a household together, then why is he obsessed with getting the tax break? I also get the idea that OP does not want to do this, and that is why she wants some solid information so she can get him off her back about it. I have lived with someone like this that was just relentless about getting his way. People like this will wear a person out and they will do whatever they want just so they will shut the hell up.

I predict that when faced with all the facts her "fiance" is going to say "But who is going to know?" That or he will say "My CPA said I can claim him and that's good enough for me." The answer is of course marriage. But he is probably planning on claiming head-of-household status and does not want to spoil it. I could be wrong, but if the household is bringing in more than $100,000 per year and he is concerned about a couple of grand in her pocket instead of his, there must be some resentment at work. I'm just sayin.

 

[LdiJ]

Straight from Publication 929:

To be your dependent (defined earlier), a person must be either your qualifying child (defined earlier) or your qualifying relative. Generally, a person is your qualifying relative if that person:

Lives with or is related to you,

Does not have $3,300 or more of gross (total) income,

Is supported (generally more than 50%) by you, and

Is neither your qualifying child nor the qualifying child of anyone else.


The bolded part is the kicker. Since the child is OP's qualifying child, the child may not be the qualifying relative of her fiance, therefore her fiance may not claim the child.

Its really too bad that his accountant doesn't know what he is talking about. The accountant is basing his response on the pre 2005 rules.

OP, here is a link if you want him to see it for himself:

http://www.irs.gov/publications/p929/go01.html

 

[jetsetter]

Thank you all for your responces. Your advices (both legal and personal) are very much appreciated and taken into consideration.

 

[jetsetter]

Mo, I was thinking the same thing... I get the picture that the fiance is selfish and controlling. If they are in an honest and loving relationship, it should not matter that she is claiming HER child. She works and brings home $$$. If they are a couple living together and having a household together, then why is he obsessed with getting the tax break? I also get the idea that OP does not want to do this, and that is why she wants some solid information so she can get him off her back about it. I have lived with someone like this that was just relentless about getting his way. People like this will wear a person out and they will do whatever they want just so they will shut the hell up.

That's what he constantly keeps telling me: that I am selfish and controlling. Because I claim my son all the time and he doesnt. He mentioned that if I claim my son this year, he will not do a 50/50 split of our bills any more. In this case he will want me to contribute more then 50% I was trying to tell him that he makes way more $ than I do (around 80K per year) and it isn't fair.....but what can I do? He is putting me in the corner.

 

[moburkes]

That's what he constantly keeps telling me: that I am selfish and controlling. Because I claim my son all the time and he doesnt. He mentioned that if I claim my son this year, he will not do a 50/50 split of our bills any more. In this case he will want me to contribute more then 50% I was trying to tell him that he makes way more $ than I do (around 80K per year) and it isn't fair.....but what can I do? He is putting me in the corner.

Honey, the person that you are going to marry is emotionally abusive to you. I know you think he loves you. He wouldn't say these things if he did. He wouldn't threaten these things if he did. Me? I'd be looking for another apartment for myself and my son, like, immediately. However, you may not be able to do what I just suggested. For me, it would be an esay decision, because I love myself and my child to much to accept less than the best.

 

[irsos]

Dependent

That's what he constantly keeps telling me: that I am selfish and controlling. Because I claim my son all the time and he doesnt. He mentioned that if I claim my son this year, he will not do a 50/50 split of our bills any more. In this case he will want me to contribute more then 50% I was trying to tell him that he makes way more $ than I do (around 80K per year) and it isn't fair.....but what can I do? He is putting me in the corner.

What is the percentage of time he spends with your son helping with homework, working on school projects, cleaning his room, taking him to soccer practice or school events, tending to him when he is sick and fussy, taking him places with his friends, answering his inane questions, teaching him right from wrong and just being there for the little guy? If it is 50% or close - you may want to entertain a compromise. If it is not even close to 50/50 - then you need to rethink the relationship.

 

[moburkes]

Very good post. Like it a lot.

 

[MyHouse]

He says you are selfish and controlling because you want to claim your own son as a dependent? That, my dear, is called projection.

I was married to a controlling man for ten years. He didn't start out that bad. It got worse as the years went on. The main thing he was controlling about was money, which is why your post hit home with me.

Please reconsider marrying somebody like this... You have a good income and can make it on your own.

 

[jetsetter]

What is the percentage of time he spends with your son helping with homework, working on school projects, cleaning his room, taking him to soccer practice or school events, tending to him when he is sick and fussy, taking him places with his friends, answering his inane questions, teaching him right from wrong and just being there for the little guy? If it is 50% or close - you may want to entertain a compromise. If it is not even close to 50/50 - then you need to rethink the relationship.

It is 50% or close to that. He might be controlling in money, he is also very jelous, and he has tons of other defects, just like most of us do, as nobody is perfect. But one thing I can not take from him and will never be able to - even if I ever want to - is that he is a great dad. Or step dad. Or whatever he is legally now.

 

[moburkes]

He has no legal realtionship to the child. Jealously and controlling are 2 HUGE issues to overlook. Only you can decide.

 

[jetsetter]

He says you are selfish and controlling because you want to claim your own son as a dependent? That, my dear, is called projection.

I was married to a controlling man for ten years. He didn't start out that bad. It got worse as the years went on. The main thing he was controlling about was money, which is why your post hit home with me.

Please reconsider marrying somebody like this... You have a good income and can make it on your own.

Thanks for your encouraging words. I lerned my lesson when we just got together and I was dependant on him at the time. That is why I am employed now and going forward with my career. May be that is why we are still not married. He is the one who pushes into marriage, and I am the one who prolongs all the time.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for your encouraging words. I lerned my lesson when we just got together and I was dependant on him at the time. That is why I am employed now and going forward with my career. May be that is why we are still not married. He is the one who pushes into marriage, and I am the one who prolongs all the time.

Its is absurd that he is saying that if he cannot claim your child that you should pay a greater portion of the bills. He makes signficantly more money than you do.

Go read the last response you received on this subject on Expertlaw.com....that might give you some greater insight as to just how ridiculous your fiance is being about this.

Edit to add....

Nevermind, I will just cut and paste it here.

The terms "qualifying child" and "qualifying relative" are very important distinctions in IRS-speak.

Your son is emphatically NOT his stepchild, nor is your son his biological relative.

However, in some circumstances a child or an adult who is not biologically related to someone could be their "qualifying relative" for tax purposes.

For example, if you did not have a job, and lived with your fiance all year long, you could absolutely be his qualifying relative, because its impossible for you to be anyone's qualifying child. However your son could not be his qualifying relative, because your son is YOUR qualifying child.

Prior to 2005, it was possible for someone to claim children who belonged to their boyfriend or girlfriend, or fiance. Since then, it is not. However, even then, the person claiming the child was not entitled to the child tax credit or daycare credit therefore the value of the exemption wasn't all that large.

I suspect that your fiance doesn't realize that even if he could somehow claim your child (which he cannot) that he would not receive the child tax credit or daycare credit. The exemption is 3400.00. I believe that he is likely in the 25% marginal tax bracket. Therefore the value of the exemption to him is at most $850.00. However, you, as the child's parent (and also likely in the 25% marginal tax bracket) would be entitled to both the child tax credit AND the daycare credit, therefore the value of the child's exemption to you could easily be $3000.00 or more.

 

[CourtClerk]

Call me crazy, but I have no idea why the OP hasn't just said no and told him to kick rocks. Seems REAL easy to me. You should claim YOUR child...and if he wants a dependant, then he should get one. End of story. There is no argument after that. None. Ever.

and keep your child's SSN under tight wraps. something ain't kosher in the kitchen with your boyfriend.

 

[jetsetter]

Its is absurd that he is saying that if he cannot claim your child that you should pay a greater portion of the bills. He makes signficantly more money than you do.
Go read the last response you received on this subject on Expertlaw.com....that might give you some greater insight as to just how ridiculous your fiance is being about this.

Edit to add....

Nevermind, I will just cut and paste it here.

The terms "qualifying child" and "qualifying relative" are very important distinctions in IRS-speak.

Your son is emphatically NOT his stepchild, nor is your son his biological relative.

However, in some circumstances a child or an adult who is not biologically related to someone could be their "qualifying relative" for tax purposes.

For example, if you did not have a job, and lived with your fiance all year long, you could absolutely be his qualifying relative, because its impossible for you to be anyone's qualifying child. However your son could not be his qualifying relative, because your son is YOUR qualifying child.

Prior to 2005, it was possible for someone to claim children who belonged to their boyfriend or girlfriend, or fiance. Since then, it is not. However, even then, the person claiming the child was not entitled to the child tax credit or daycare credit therefore the value of the exemption wasn't all that large.

I suspect that your fiance doesn't realize that even if he could somehow claim your child (which he cannot) that he would not receive the child tax credit or daycare credit. The exemption is 3400.00. I believe that he is likely in the 25% marginal tax bracket. Therefore the value of the exemption to him is at most $850.00. However, you, as the child's parent (and also likely in the 25% marginal tax bracket) would be entitled to both the child tax credit AND the daycare credit, therefore the value of the child's exemption to you could easily be $3000.00 or more.

Thank you LdiJ. Thats what I keep telling him - but we just keep fighting over the damn thing over and over again**************.I appreciate your responses!!!

 

[moburkes]

You asked this question before, and I don't think it was answered. If he was eligible to claim your child, and you don't reduce your exemptions on your paychecks, yes, you could potentially end up owing money to the IRS come tax time.