Constructive Emancipation in New York state?

[justalayman]

You're right, you got me. I jumped on this site and just made up a bunch of random stuff so that I could be abused by everybody on here. You know, because I have no life. You caught me, Sherlock. Congratulations.

I simply cut and pasted what you wrote.

 

[Kimberley1964]

I simply cut and pasted what you wrote.

Well, simply ask me to clarify next time, then, instead of jumping to conclusions that one is being dishonest.

 

[Proserpina]

Holy Hannah, I only left to feed the dog and let her out!

Kimberly, yes - everyone here (and I mean EVERYONE) has questioned the veracity and credibility of a poster at some point. I've done it. Hell I still have my moments. Some will go straight for the throat, some will only bother after 16 pages, and the rest generally will fall somewhere between the two.

Skim off the waste, and usually you'll find at least something of value.

So..don't fall for the bait. If you think a question is leading, then it probably is. As much as you can, leave emotion at the back door and keep wading until you find something built on a strong foundation versus going back and forth in quick sand.

 

[BL]

I meant, throwing money at his father won't help my son. It goes deeper than that. My God, everybody on this blog is just ready to crucify you !!!!!

This isn't a blog site.

The FreeAdvice Forums are intended to enable consumers to benefit from the experience of other consumers who have faced similar legal issues. FreeAdvice does NOT vouch for or warrant the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any posting on the Forums or the identity or qualifications of any person asking questions or responding on the Forums

I gave you Legal advice .You haven't stated if you have been ordered to pay CS to Dad yet?

BTW , as a Father figure to a child ( ADD/ODD/ADHD ) growing up that was " brain washed " ( there's a legal name for that - I can not recall ) , against the Mom & myself, and the father being incarcerated 25-to life , the child at 17 telling mom he was going to stab me to death in the middle of the night , he was put out the next day as I learned of it.

Be careful though in your situation as I have a sister that had a problimatic child ( she was beaten attempted to be pimped off ) ended up with child in a shelter. In later years sent the child to live with father in another State ,got involved with a gang ,shot hiself in the head - dead . Be careful - things could be worse.

 

[stealth2]

At the end of the day, somehow this young man derailed. It's easy to blame the parent(s) (and I've done it myself), especially when it is clear s/he/they have been less than attentive. But some kids/people are just problems for whatever reason. In any event, it's moot now with THIS child. Unless there is a sibling involved, the hindsighting, soul-searching and angsting is meaningless.

HOWEVER, this does not mean that this 17yo will be eligible for emancupation - constructive or otherwise. He is living with a parent, by agreement of both parents. As such, he should be supported by both parents. "Fair" or not. A bitter pill to swallow, but there it is.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Apparently, child support is still due because of the daughter. Dad owes mom for daughter. Mom will owe support for son. Worst case is that mom will owe some because of the split custody. Mom can ask relief be taken from the monies that dad owes. In the end, it will lower the arrearage.

And until there is a court order that is different, dad will continue to owe the full amount to mom for both children.

 

[stealth2]

I didn't reread to see the younger child. Then it DOES make sense to look back, soul search, etc. Simply to see if there is *anything* that could have been done differently which may influence the direction of the younger.

 

[wavehopper27]

Paying child support for the first time can be quite alarming if you aren't ready for it. Here in Massachusetts, I pay 1/3 of my gross for 2 children which is roughly 1/2 of my take home pay and have been doing it for 15 years. People will tell you it's for the children and they deserve financial support from both parents (which of course they do) but being forced to quickly re-vamp your lifestyle in favor of the smaller amount of money you have to live on can be quite a kick.

Take a deep breath and keep your head and avoid saying or doing anything you will regret later. You will survive and your son will be better off for it.

 

[Just Blue]

(I'm not getting the 1964 reference either )

Kimberley1964

1964 I thought was OP's birthday...Not at all uncommon in usernames. Sorry if I was unclear.

 

[CourtClerk]

Kimberley1964

1964 I thought was OP's birthday...Not at all uncommon in usernames. Sorry if I was unclear.

Are people born in 1964 not allowed to have children? Are they somehow derelict in their parental duties because they were born in 1964? What is it about 1964 that makes it relevant to this post? Color me confuzzled.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Are people born in 1964 not allowed to have children? Are they somehow derelict in their parental duties because they were born in 1964? What is it about 1964 that makes it relevant to this post? Color me confuzzled.

Perhaps someone figured that someone who is 50ish should be mature and responsible. And whine less about the way the world is, accepting with Zen-like calmness the inevitability of the world being as it is.

 

[Proserpina]

Are people born in 1964 not allowed to have children? Are they somehow derelict in their parental duties because they were born in 1964? What is it about 1964 that makes it relevant to this post? Color me confuzzled.

I need coloring, too. I do insist however on the Burnt Umber crayons.

 

[Bay1954]

Constructive Emancipation

Dear Confused;

The mindset was that being in a new school and getting away from his friends here might have a positive influence.

Shame on me for being born in 1964? Makes no SENSE to me.

In the future, check your spelling and grammar as it is atrocious.

The rules are clear on constructive emancipation in NY State. From what you have posted, I don't believe, in my humble opinion, that you would qualify for this.

Particularly as it is your ex husband who is seeking the support for the minor son. As another poster mentioned, you may have some leeway in arguing that your ex husband is not supporting your daughter. It might then come out as a "wash".

I do understand your frustration in that, as you have noted, your ex husband has income that is not reported.

Should your son, before his 21st birthday, just happen to join the military, that is one method of using constructive emancipation.

Being a parent is not easy. Good luck to you.

 

[LdiJ]

I know that this has been touched on before, but I am going to repeat it because its very important.

Dad is going to file for child support. There will be a hearing. At that hearing you will bring up the fact that dad has not paid his ordered child support in quite some time. You will tell the judge how much dad owes you. You will ask the judge to deduct any child support that you are ordered to pay, from dad's arrears until dad's arrears are used up.

Also, if your daughter is still under 21, you will not be paying child support to dad and then dad paying child support to you. That is not how it works. The judge will calculate what dad should be paying you, and then what you should be paying dad, and then whoever's amount is higher will pay the DIFFERENCE only to the other...if that is you, then again, you need to bring up dad's arrears and ask that it be deducted from his arrears balance until that balance is used up. In other words, no money will be paid by you until the amount you should have been paying is higher than the amount of money he owes you.

 

[BL]

I know that this has been touched on before, but I am going to repeat it because its very important.

Dad is going to file for child support. There will be a hearing. At that hearing you will bring up the fact that dad has not paid his ordered child support in quite some time. You will tell the judge how much dad owes you. You will ask the judge to deduct any child support that you are ordered to pay, from dad's arrears until dad's arrears are used up.

Also, if your daughter is still under 21, you will not be paying child support to dad and then dad paying child support to you. That is not how it works. The judge will calculate what dad should be paying you, and then what you should be paying dad, and then whoever's amount is higher will pay the DIFFERENCE only to the other...if that is you, then again, you need to bring up dad's arrears and ask that it be deducted from his arrears balance until that balance is used up. In other words, no money will be paid by you until the amount you should have been paying is higher than the amount of money he owes you.

On a side note: Always bring documents of proofs.

Arrears proof if you have it.

Courts decide on what is put in front of them , appeals look at what was put in front of the court when the matter was heard.