You state that you need assistance and the children's grandparents have the time and resources to assist you. If you had a good relationship with them, they could assist you with their grandchildren. You never know what provisions they have made for their grandchildren in their estates that they likely would modify if you continue on the path you are on.
No matter what you do, your children are forever their grandchildren and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it as long as any of them are alive. I can certainly understand their behaviour given what you are doing; they are driving by your home in hope of getting a glimpse of their grandchildren in order to know that they are OK. That is not harassment; that is concern.
The loss of a child - no matter the age - is far more traumatic than the loss of a spouse, IMO. They have also lost their grandchildren; you still have them. They are hurting far more than you can know.
You are grieving and cannot get past the "ME". Have you taken your children to counseling, or are you so self involved that you cannot consider their well being? You really need to consider counseling especially if you intend to have an bitter legal battle. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your children. Your hatred will affect them. Remember, when you hate and degrade your late spouse's family, you are telling your children that you do not value one-half of them.
Your actions will come back to haunt you, How you treat others will show your children how it is OK to treat you when they are adults. Don't be surprised if you are left out of their lives and the lives of YOUR grandchildren someday because you have shown them that YOU do not value the love and contributions of grandparents.
I am truly sorry for your loss, but more so I pity the life your children are destined to have with your attitude.
I just think you can't process what you read correctly. First of all I don't need assistance. I never said that. However, I did say that this lawsuit will cost money and I didn't take this into account when I was preparing my budget this year. Living off one paycheck in the state of MD where an average decent house costs around 350-400K and a retainer for a lawyer in the DC metro area is exorbitant and then the frivolousness of this lawsuit scares the living daylights out of me. If this lawsuit drags on this could put me in a financial bind. This is the disadvantage parents have in this kind of lawsuit. And the point I was trying to make was that grandparents with disposable income and free time on their hands are clearly from an economic standpoint are at a upper hand with this lawsuit. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm going to have to take some time off work for this too. Hmmm... I could probably use that free time to actually spend with my kids.
"They are driving by your house to get a glimpse of their grandchildren?" Hello, If I am not there they won't be there either! I think this behaviour along with the incessant nasty phone calls, voicemails, and calls without leaving messages from random phone numbers from the same area code to trick me into picking up the phone qualifies as stalking and harassment since a) the behaviour is unwanted, b) they were asked to stop and c) just not normal especially if the behaviour was occuring at an escalated scale
BEFORE and not after I severed ties with them.The scenarios you create with the information I give you is quite fantastic, really.
These people have not assisted me, my husband, or my children with anything nor have we asked them for anything. So that blows your scenario that they could be helping me if I only let them push me around. Quite the opposite, they sued their own son while he was deployed so they can sell family property that my husband inherited from his grandfather. They lost and they were horrible to him. Not the reason but one of the reasons my husband's relationship with them was strained (didn't I say this before?) and why they had limited access to their grandchildren. I guess you didn't understand that from my earlier posts. And I guess you didn't understand it when I said my husband was trying to keep the peace because it would be more difficult to deal with them if they didn't get what they want. And guess what? I'm living that nightmare he predicted. Most of the visits happened at our home where we can monitor what was going on. and when we did visit them we were always with the kids.
Oh and are you advising me to foster a relationship with the grandparents in the hopes that my children would get an inheritance? What values would I be teaching my kids? Children, it's okay to be harassed and threathened and put up with really bad behaviour if you're going to get money in the end. You are making me cringe.
A parent's loss is more traumatic than the loss of a spouse? Way to demean the grief of widows and widowers! And you're sorry for my loss? What a polite thing to say. You know, I can understand the grief of losing a child because I have children and if I lost them it would be devastating but for you to say that losing a spouse is less traumatic? You just need to stop going there. The grief is incomparable. Not only are widows and widowers grieving the loss of their spouse, the younger widows and widowers with young children like myself are grieving the loss of their children's parent. And it is so much harder to see your children suffer. Don't tell me about grief. I'm an expert. And oh my God do not tell me about remarrying. If you ever have a friend or relative who at a very young age with young kids become a widow and a widower (and hopefully you never do in part because of your great sensitivity and wisdom and because it would really SUCK! for them) tell them to get over the grief because they're young and they'll get to remarry anyway. And tell them that at least they didn't lose a child because that is WAY worse.
The only thing constructive to this thread you said was that the limited interaction my children had with their grandparents could be counted as a pre-existing attachment or bond and I would have to be careful to define exactly what the relationship was if I ever needed to supply that information to the court. Oddly since I cut off my in laws not once did I hear my children ask for their grandparents or their other relatives. Kinda hard to demean and degrade them if they're never spoken of, don't you think? And oh yeah, that was one of the scenarios you created and assumed was happening. And no this post does not count. My children are too young to read and the grandparents have remained anonymous. And this anonymity is great! You think I talk about this with my friends and associates? I'm trying to raise my children with some dignity and grace. And now my neighbors are involved and LOOKING OUT for me because the drive bys freaked them out. Yes a car driving by your house several times a day when it is unoccupied is FREAKY.
And what else did you say.... "No matter what you do, your children are forever their grandchildren and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it as long as any of them are alive". God, so true and so scary.
You pity my children? Your are so arrogant in your assumptions.
