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  1. #1
    LeaFish is offline Junior Member
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    Can a grandmother take a child away from her custod father?

    Hello. I want to know if a grandmother can take a four year old away from her custod father. Recently the father was kicked out for not respecting the grandmothers rules to the house and he swears and yells infront of (not to) his daughter. He has no place to go but may go to a shelter. The grandmother is the one that feeds her, buys her clothes, and gave her a room to stay. She pays for her to enroll in school as well. Can a grandmother take her away from her father even if he has full custody? He has no job, or money. He recently applied for food stamps. The grandmother dont want to picture her living on the street or fail to go back to school because of the father. What can she do to make sure the child is safe and/or return home without the father? What is the grandmothers rights? Please help, and let me know.
  2. #2
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeaFish View Post
    Hello. I want to know if a grandmother can take a four year old away from her custod father. Recently the father was kicked out for not respecting the grandmothers rules to the house and he swears and yells infront of (not to) his daughter. He has no place to go but may go to a shelter. The grandmother is the one that feeds her, buys her clothes, and gave her a room to stay. She pays for her to enroll in school as well. Can a grandmother take her away from her father even if he has full custody? He has no job, or money. He recently applied for food stamps. The grandmother dont want to picture her living on the street or fail to go back to school because of the father. What can she do to make sure the child is safe and/or return home without the father? What is the grandmothers rights? Please help, and let me know.
    No. You can't "take away" a child from their parent.
  3. #3
    tornado88 is offline Member
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    This sounds remarkably similar to one that was posted yesterday in the custody section. The answers will not change. NO you can not "take away" a child from the father. You should have thought about the girl before you kicked the father out. You want to see the girl then make nice with daddy.
  4. #4
    dannyt is offline Member
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    no

    Quote Originally Posted by LeaFish View Post
    Hello. I want to know if a grandmother can take a four year old away from her custod father. Recently the father was kicked out for not respecting the grandmothers rules to the house and he swears and yells infront of (not to) his daughter. He has no place to go but may go to a shelter. The grandmother is the one that feeds her, buys her clothes, and gave her a room to stay. She pays for her to enroll in school as well. Can a grandmother take her away from her father even if he has full custody? He has no job, or money. He recently applied for food stamps. The grandmother dont want to picture her living on the street or fail to go back to school because of the father. What can she do to make sure the child is safe and/or return home without the father? What is the grandmothers rights? Please help, and let me know.
    sure she can-then she can be charged with custodial interference, and dad can make sure she never sees the child again. for her to get custody, she will have to prove BOTH parents unfit, and applying for food stamps does not make a parent unfit. her paying for everything not give her rights-she is not this child's mother. nothing youve posted makes dad unfit. speaking of mom, where is she is all this? her rights to custody are greater then grandma's
    Last edited by dannyt; 02-08-2010 at 01:50 PM.
  5. #5
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    And please answer the question .

    What is the name of your State ? ( US Law Only)
  6. #6
    Mamax2 is offline Member
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    Ok, I'll bite on this one. I'm going though my own grandparents issues, so forgive if I vent a bit...

    Grandparents are NOT parents. They have no RIGHTS bestowed on them LEGALLY because they happened to live long enough to see their offspring reproduce. Grandma, it's great you have money and you were doing all this when the child was living with you. BUT, and a big BUT here, you need to realize that you have been helping DAD (the one with legal rights) in raising his child. Dad still has the rights, and he can take the child wherever and whenever he pleases. Because you have money doesn't mean he has to do what you want. And yep, as a GRANDPARENT, sometimes you have to hold your tongue and bite it til it bleeds. Was he harming the child physically? If not, you got nothing and you will probably have to eat a lot of crow before dad is going to trust you again after kicking out. If you are really THAT concerned about the child, then maybe you should have been not spending as much money on kiddo and helping dad get more education to secure a better job and help them get back on their feet as their own family, which helsp promote their parent-child relationship, and still gives you that grandparent relationship. Your job is to HELP them, and I will guarentee you, if you try to legally go after the child, you can kiss goodbye ever getting to see child (especially if dad has sole custody) again. Until the child is 18. You are NOT the parent anymore and you need to take a step back and realize that. Your job ended when your child hit 18. Dad is TOTALLY being responsible and took HIS child with HIM when HE moved out. He's providing for the child. And food stamps are the governments way of helping. Nothing wrong with that at all. Lots of nuclear families use food stamps.

    Take a long hard look at what you have done. Yelling in front of a child, while yes it encourages yelling, does NOT a bad parent make. You even admitted it wasn't directed at the child. Courts would say so what?? So because dad did things you didn't like you kicked him out. Grandma, you might, and probably will, find a lawyer that will tell you how great your case is and they will take it. All they are doing is taking your money. They need to eat too and you are only helping them. MAYBE you should talk to a counselor about this (cause multi-generational families have a slew of issues when living under the same roof) and then contact dad to sit down to a discussion with the counselor and TALK LIKE ADULTS. If you guys could work this out then you can continue to help them and not pay the mortgage payment on a lawyers vacation home.
  7. #7
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamax2 View Post
    Ok, I'll bite on this one. I'm going though my own grandparents issues, so forgive if I vent a bit...

    Grandparents are NOT parents. They have no RIGHTS bestowed on them LEGALLY because they happened to live long enough to see their offspring reproduce. Grandma, it's great you have money and you were doing all this when the child was living with you. BUT, and a big BUT here, you need to realize that you have been helping DAD (the one with legal rights) in raising his child. Dad still has the rights, and he can take the child wherever and whenever he pleases. Because you have money doesn't mean he has to do what you want. And yep, as a GRANDPARENT, sometimes you have to hold your tongue and bite it til it bleeds. Was he harming the child physically? If not, you got nothing and you will probably have to eat a lot of crow before dad is going to trust you again after kicking out. If you are really THAT concerned about the child, then maybe you should have been not spending as much money on kiddo and helping dad get more education to secure a better job and help them get back on their feet as their own family, which helsp promote their parent-child relationship, and still gives you that grandparent relationship. Your job is to HELP them, and I will guarentee you, if you try to legally go after the child, you can kiss goodbye ever getting to see child (especially if dad has sole custody) again. Until the child is 18. You are NOT the parent anymore and you need to take a step back and realize that. Your job ended when your child hit 18. Dad is TOTALLY being responsible and took HIS child with HIM when HE moved out. He's providing for the child. And food stamps are the governments way of helping. Nothing wrong with that at all. Lots of nuclear families use food stamps.

    Take a long hard look at what you have done. Yelling in front of a child, while yes it encourages yelling, does NOT a bad parent make. You even admitted it wasn't directed at the child. Courts would say so what?? So because dad did things you didn't like you kicked him out. Grandma, you might, and probably will, find a lawyer that will tell you how great your case is and they will take it. All they are doing is taking your money. They need to eat too and you are only helping them. MAYBE you should talk to a counselor about this (cause multi-generational families have a slew of issues when living under the same roof) and then contact dad to sit down to a discussion with the counselor and TALK LIKE ADULTS. If you guys could work this out then you can continue to help them and not pay the mortgage payment on a lawyers vacation home.
    My daughter and granddaughter live with me.

    I am absolutely certain that if I didn't know the law as well as I do, that I would have possibly become a "toxic" grandparent.

    I am absolutely certain that I would have seen myself as the "parent" to both my daughter AND my granddaughter, and would have attempted to "parent" both of them, instead of accepting and (quite literally) enforcing my place as a grandparent.

    It occasionally upsets my daughter that I won't accept a "co-parenting" role in my granddaughter's life. It occasionally upsets me that my daughter doesn't take my advice in parenting her child.

    However, we both understand our roles and try to stick to them.

    As a result, I certainly won't ever kick my daughter out if I think my granddaughter needs to be here. At the same time, I recognize that if my daughter leaves, my granddaughter goes with her.

    My daughter is my adult roommate. It is required that I recognize her as such if we are to have harmony in our home...even if I occasionally carry the weight financiallly. My granddaughter is HER child and she calls the shots there, even if sometimes she prefers that I do so or I prefer to do so.

    I know that my granddaughter will not live in my house forever. Eventually my daughter will have a life outside of my home and my granddaughter will go with her.

    That is life and that is reality. Its my choice whether or not that transition is hostile and traumatic, or whether its a normal progression.
  8. #8
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Children leaving your house and having children of their own, that's how it's supposed to be
  9. #9
    Mamax2 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ecmst12 View Post
    Children leaving your house and having children of their own, that's how it's supposed to be
    And I totally agree with you. When you as a parent open your home to your child and their child(ren), you need to have clearly defined rules and grandparents and parents need to remember their roles, but also respect the others roles as well. And that is MUCH easier said than done.
  10. #10
    txmom512 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    My daughter and granddaughter live with me.

    I am absolutely certain that if I didn't know the law as well as I do, that I would have possibly become a "toxic" grandparent.

    I am absolutely certain that I would have seen myself as the "parent" to both my daughter AND my granddaughter, and would have attempted to "parent" both of them, instead of accepting and (quite literally) enforcing my place as a grandparent.

    It occasionally upsets my daughter that I won't accept a "co-parenting" role in my granddaughter's life. It occasionally upsets me that my daughter doesn't take my advice in parenting her child.

    However, we both understand our roles and try to stick to them.

    As a result, I certainly won't ever kick my daughter out if I think my granddaughter needs to be here. At the same time, I recognize that if my daughter leaves, my granddaughter goes with her.

    My daughter is my adult roommate. It is required that I recognize her as such if we are to have harmony in our home...even if I occasionally carry the weight financiallly. My granddaughter is HER child and she calls the shots there, even if sometimes she prefers that I do so or I prefer to do so.

    I know that my granddaughter will not live in my house forever. Eventually my daughter will have a life outside of my home and my granddaughter will go with her.

    That is life and that is reality. Its my choice whether or not that transition is hostile and traumatic, or whether its a normal progression.

    Ld - your girls are so lucky to have you...

    When my ex left me and my 5 week old baby dd, my mom refused to let me live with her because she was so afraid of getting too attached. So she helped me find a cute little apartment about a half mile away from her, so we could move out of our house, and she paid half my rent so I could afford daycare - for about six months, until I got a promotion & raise at work. DD's 13 now, and she and her gramma are very very close (prob'ly cuz they are just alike). I don't know what I would do without my mamma...

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