Can I assume my son's visitation rights?

[MimiB]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

My son fathered 2 children in SC, but is currently in the military in Texas. My husband and I had weekly visits with my granddaughters before their parents broke up, but since then have had to go to court to be able to see them at all. We are currently scheduled for mediation to revise the visitation plan that was worked out earlier this year. My lawyer dropped me when I told her I was out of money.

Since my son is out of state, and not requesting any visitation rights, is there anyway he can transfer his visitation rights to me & his father, so that we can be the acting family members in my granddaughters lives? (there is a standard visitation schedule for the county the girls live in, created by a current county judge)What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? South Carolina

My son fathered 2 children in SC, but is currently in the military in Texas. My husband and I had weekly visits with my granddaughters before their parents broke up, but since then have had to go to court to be able to see them at all. We are currently scheduled for mediation to revise the visitation plan that was worked out earlier this year. My lawyer dropped me when I told her I was out of money.

Since my son is out of state, and not requesting any visitation rights, is there anyway he can transfer his visitation rights to me & his father, so that we can be the acting family members in my granddaughters lives? (there is a standard visitation schedule for the county the girls live in, created by a current county judge)What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

What exactly do you have in terms of court-ordered visitation?

 

[liandrajade]

Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich!.....

Honey your son's visitation time is NOT transferable, the children are NOT a commodity that can be passed along.

What visitation plan was ordered in court? Is there even any court orders about you the grandparents having visitation with the children?

And why did you feel the need to sue your grandchilds mother for visitation?

If you do have a visitation order against mom for time with her children, then legally that order does need to be followed.

 

[mistoffolees]

Since my son is out of state, and not requesting any visitation rights, is there anyway he can transfer his visitation rights to me & his father, so that we can be the acting family members in my granddaughters lives? (there is a standard visitation schedule for the county the girls live in, created by a current county judge)What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

No. Visitation goes only to the person in the court order. One can not transfer visitation rights - even to a grandparent.

What you CAN do is be nice to the Mom and ask for permission to spend some time with the kids - possibly allowing her to have some time to herself while the kids have some time with their grandparents. But if she refuses, you're out of luck.

(In some cases, grandparents can sue for visitation and maybe even get it, but it's expensive, time consuming, and not successful in most states. If you really must go there, talk to your attorney about your chances, but realize that you may NEVER get to see the kids again).

 

[MimiB]

Grandparents Rights

Proserpina:
We never went to court. Terms were established through our lawyers: 1 weekend a month; 2, one week periods during summer; odd times at holidays; but now that my granddaughters mother wants to re-visit the terms I just wanted to see what my options were. Problems arose when one of the two weeks during the "summer" (she chose) turned out to be in May; another problem is that we can't take them across state lines - to my other son's house, to major amusement parks - both in a neighboring states. I chose the mediator option this time, when I couldn't afford to pay my laywer any more money.

liandrajade:
I didn't mean to imply that the girls were a "commodity to be passed around", only that since he is unable to use his visitation rights might we be able to assume them. (we are in the southeast, he is in the military in the southwest) We had to sue for visitation in order to find her when she moved in with a new boyfriend and stopped contacting us.
We had regular contact with them for close to 3 years and then nothing. (They lived with us for over a year and after that we got them every weekend while mom was dating)

mistoffolees:
If it were only that easy... We do try and play nice with mom, it's just that she has no use for us and resents us trying to be a part of our grand-daughters lives. They appear to LOVE coming to visit us and, when they were little, would get extremely upset when they were returned to their mom.

I thank you all for your input and thoughts. I do realize that I am lucky to have gotten this much so far. When we ran out of money for the lawyer, the lawyer dropped us, and we aren't poor enough for legal aid. Now that we are scheduled for mediation, I just wanted to check out all my options so that I would be prepared for whatever comes. Thank you all very much!

 

[liandrajade]

I have to be honest, GPV cases are a HUGE sore point for me and I have good reason, if you are bored go look up the threads I started to see why.

With that being said, technically there is NO court order for anything it would appear. Mom does not have to be doing anything regarding allowing you to visit with her children.

Also keep in mind, with dad's military status, that MIGHT hold up your proceedings IF he is actually deployed. Is he stationed in TX or is he deployed outside the US?

You do know that you are technically also suing your son for visitation too right? Are the parents married, what is the situation with them?

I will give myself as an example, my ex has visitation, he is in the army. I have sole custody BUT when my child's loooooovely grandmother decided to sue for custody{no im not kidding}, she had to sue us BOTH. We were not married either{she lost and settled for 36 hrs of visitation time A YEAR}

My radar is going off here, why did YOU have to find her because she moved in with a new boyfriend? That is her business, as long as she is taking care of her child, what does it matter to you what she is doing?

The statement about her resenting you, makes me wonder what else is going on that we are not being told.

All in all, short of your proving some extraordinary circumstamces as to why the court should order visitation over her wishes, you might have a problem.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Because their son is in the military, it does afford them some latitude with the "transferred" visitation. These aren't the standard GPV issues that we've seen.

I would research visitation and military. Most of this tends to involve deployments, but it is worth a try.

I would also ask for an extension of the boundaries to allow you to visit other family members. It would be good for the children.

 

[liandrajade]

Because their son is in the military, it does afford them some latitude with the "transferred" visitation. These aren't the standard GPV issues that we've seen.

I would research visitation and military. Most of this tends to involve deployments, but it is worth a try.

I would also ask for an extension of the boundaries to allow you to visit other family members. It would be good for the children.

I see what you're saying Tinks, but how often have we actually seen that happen?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It's been put in place on the FEDERAL level, so it is an avenue that grandma can pursue. It isn't that well known; that's why I mention it to granny here.

 

[ecmst12]

Wonder why mom might resent you for taking her to court over her children?

 

[janM]

You may not have been "in court", but were the terms signed by a judge and filed with the court?

 

[liandrajade]

Wonder why mom might resent you for taking her to court over her children?

I said that in post # 6

But all joking aside, as a mom who was put through the indignation and quite honestly HUMILIATING visitation/custody suit, I was absolutely livid that the GP in my case had the gall to invade my sanctity and just blatantly disrespect my rights as a parent. And this was my own MOTHER, you are not even related to her at all, I can understand 100000000000000000% what that woman must feel right now.

Even if she is really being unreasonable, still her RIGHT as the mother of that child to decide who can and cannot be around. I wonder how you would feel if someone did that you?

 

[MimiB]

liandrajade:

Point taken. If we hadn't played such an active role in my granddaughter's lives for over a year I might not feel as I do. She & the girls lived with us when my son was deployed overseas with the National Guard. No, they weren't married either. She was more than happy to let us keep the girls when she needed us, but when she found someone else to take care of her is when she closed the door on us, so to speak, without regard to our, or the girl's, feelings. And yes, we had to sue them both (her & my son) in order to get any kind of contact with the girls. If she had only talked to us about things, we would have been more than happy to try and work something out.

We understand her wanting to move on with her life, but the fact that my son fathered those two little girls will keep them, and her, connected to him, and his family, for many years to come. If he was in town, then we would have access to them through him, but since he is not, we feel that it is important for the girls to stay connected to him through us. Their mother has no contact with him what so ever.

I am sorry that you and your mother were estranged to the point that she felt she had no other recourse than to sue you. I am sure you felt you had legitimate reasons for not wanting her in your lives, and that it was very hard for you. I truely hope that through the love you both have for your children that you will be able to resolve these issues in years to come. Good luck.

 

[Proserpina]

liandrajade:

Point taken. If we hadn't played such an active role in my granddaughter's lives for over a year I might not feel as I do. She & the girls lived with us when my son was deployed overseas with the National Guard. No, they weren't married either. She was more than happy to let us keep the girls when she needed us, but when she found someone else to take care of her is when she closed the door on us, so to speak, without regard to our, or the girl's, feelings. And yes, we had to sue them both (her & my son) in order to get any kind of contact with the girls. If she had only talked to us about things, we would have been more than happy to try and work something out.

We understand her wanting to move on with her life, but the fact that my son fathered those two little girls will keep them, and her, connected to him, and his family, for many years to come. If he was in town, then we would have access to them through him, but since he is not, we feel that it is important for the girls to stay connected to him through us. Their mother has no contact with him what so ever.

I am sorry that you and your mother were estranged to the point that she felt she had no other recourse than to sue you. I am sure you felt you had legitimate reasons for not wanting her in your lives, and that it was very hard for you. I truely hope that through the love you both have for your children that you will be able to resolve these issues in years to come. Good luck.

That was a very gracious response

 

[milspecgirl]

maybe you could mediate something that is only in effect when your son is deployed or stationed away from them. That way- you can see the children when he isn't there, but when he is- he can bring them to visit.

I can see where mom would be against an all the time agreement if dad is getting them when he is able. She would likely be giving him 2 weekends a month and you 1 - which leaves her with 1. Also, giving you 2 weeks in the summer and dad his time - leaves her with little time.

Maybe offer that your visitation rights are only active when he is away/unable to visit due to military.

I have been thru a grandparent case and they are ugly and you will probably never have a relationship with the mom again after this.