CPS placed my Grand children in a foster home

[Geriward]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

My grand kids reside in North Carolina, my husband, myself and middle daughter (35) live in Maryland. My youngest daughter (31) was investigated by CPS and had the children removed for being malnourished. I was told my the social worker on Wednesday (April 15th) that my daughter was being investigated for neglect and that they have taken the children to the Hospital. I was told that if they decide to remove the children they would rather place the kids with a relative, we only have distant cousins in that area however several stepped up and said they would take the children. The Social worker took my information in the event that the children would go into foster care and b/c we lived out of state it would take a long time to have the children transported to Maryland.

The children were not placed with a family member in North Carolina as promised, they are now in foster care. I have not been able to speak to them. I don't know where they are and the social worker isn't giving us any other info.

Back story: My youngest daughter the kids mother cut off communication with everyone in the family almost a year ago. I do think she needs mental help, and I am only concerned about getting to my grandchildren and making sure they are safe and back home with us where they belong.

How can I speed up this process? Should I hire a lawyer in NC? Should I have Child protective services here in Maryland do a home visit to try and speed up the placement process? What is the quickest way to get my grand children home, either with us or my other daughter? I'm panicked and don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I should drive down to North Carolina or what!! I don't know where the kids are and their mother refuses to speak to us about this.

 

[CdwJava]

While the preference is always to place with family, even this cannot be done in a flash. Potential relatives must generally be vetted, fingerprinted, and must subject their homes to inspection prior to any placement. Before you go spending money on attorneys that may do nothing but cost you money, you might consider speaking to a supervisor at the local CPS office handling the case and make sure they know the names and contact information of any involved parties. If they need your local CPS to conduct a home inspection, they will ask them. It may not hurt to call your local office, but they will be legally unable to give you any information even if they find out anything, so you'll still be in the dark.

Much of this is a hurry up and wait process.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

My grand kids reside in North Carolina, my husband, myself and middle daughter (35) live in Maryland. My youngest daughter (31) was investigated by CPS and had the children removed for being malnourished. I was told my the social worker on Wednesday (April 15th) that my daughter was being investigated for neglect and that they have taken the children to the Hospital. I was told that if they decide to remove the children they would rather place the kids with a relative, we only have distant cousins in that area however several stepped up and said they would take the children. The Social worker took my information in the event that the children would go into foster care and b/c we lived out of state it would take a long time to have the children transported to Maryland.

The children were not placed with a family member in North Carolina as promised, they are now in foster care. I have not been able to speak to them. I don't know where they are and the social worker isn't giving us any other info.

Back story: My youngest daughter the kids mother cut off communication with everyone in the family almost a year ago. I do think she needs mental help, and I am only concerned about getting to my grandchildren and making sure they are safe and back home with us where they belong.

How can I speed up this process? Should I hire a lawyer in NC? Should I have Child protective services here in Maryland do a home visit to try and speed up the placement process? What is the quickest way to get my grand children home, either with us or my other daughter? I'm panicked and don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I should drive down to North Carolina or what!! I don't know where the kids are and their mother refuses to speak to us about this.

You can't. You have to approved through a process called ICPC. If your relatives had ANY criminal or CPS history, they would have been denied. You are not entitled to any other info -- including who the foster parents are and where they are located. Not legally at least. You are also not guaranteed custody or placement. Furthermore, CPS would be looking at reunification first. And the children's parents have a right to visitation which would be hard to do if they are in North Carolina and you are in Maryland.

 

[Geriward]

Just found out this morning that my daughter will be appearing before a judge to see if the children should stay with her or in foster care. This is all the Social worker told me. She could have told me this friday and then maybe my husband and I could have been there. I'm trying to find out who the kids lawyer is so I can request a postponement at least, until we can get down there. Maybe we could plead with the court to place the children with us until my daughter is able to care for the children IF they want to place the kids in foster care. We have no problem driving to NC to have the children visit with their mother. I just don't want my babies in foster care when we are able to care for them.

 

[Zigner]

Just found out this morning that my daughter will be appearing before a judge to see if the children should stay with her or in foster care. This is all the Social worker told me. She could have told me this friday and then maybe my husband and I could have been there. I'm trying to find out who the kids lawyer is so I can request a postponement at least, until we can get down there. Maybe we could plead with the court to place the children with us until my daughter is able to care for the children IF they want to place the kids in foster care. We have no problem driving to NC to have the children visit with their mother. I just don't want my babies in foster care when we are able to care for them.

You have no right to be there. The court is VERY unlikely to place the children outside of their jurisdiction on a short-term basis.

 

[Ladyback1]

Just found out this morning that my daughter will be appearing before a judge to see if the children should stay with her or in foster care. This is all the Social worker told me. She could have told me this friday and then maybe my husband and I could have been there. I'm trying to find out who the kids lawyer is so I can request a postponement at least, until we can get down there. Maybe we could plead with the court to place the children with us until my daughter is able to care for the children IF they want to place the kids in foster care. We have no problem driving to NC to have the children visit with their mother. I just don't want my babies in foster care when we are able to care for them.

They aren't going to postpone this hearing, I suspect.
Every state has time deadlines for these sort of hearings. (in my state, when CPS removes a child/children, a show cause hearing MUST be held within 20 days of the date the children were removed.) Those deadlines are strict (for a reason) and are rarely fiddled with.

I am assuming that this first hearing is a "show cause" hearing. If mom and her attorney "stipulate" at the show cause hearing, the judge will place the children in temporary custody of the state. If mom does not stipulate, the judge can decide to 1) not return children to mom and require a formal hearing within xx amount of days (again, in my state it is 30 days). Mom will be subject to adhering to a treatment plan/rules set forth by CPS, 2) can return the children with continued CPS involvement, or 3) (and this is most unlikely) rule that there is no need for CPS involvement and return the children forthwith.

Furthermore, if the CPS is looking at reunification (and they usually are, barring significant and specific types of abuse/neglect) CPS will be writing a treatment plan that can include mom having regular contact with children. Mom maybe required to attend parenting classes, mom and children may be required to attend family counseling TOGETHER, there will most likely be visitation between mom and kids (depending on ages of the kids, it could be 2-3 times a week). It is extremely difficult to work a reunification plan if the children are not "local". How far away are you?
How many kids? And what ages?

Typically, if the judge rules that the children should remain out of the house, the case will be back in front of the judge in 60-90 days (again depending on the state laws), to review mom's progress and what, if anything, else is needed.

 

[Geriward]

No Right to be there?

So I guess I should just roll over and die. Why are people so difficult? This is why so many children are Lost in the system b/c grandparents and other relatives have NO RIGHT!!!

So what should we do then? Nothing...just let them be lost in the system as if no one cares or wants them. Give me something other than I have no right and that there is nothing I can do. How about solutions, options, choices.

 

[Geriward]

Thank you Ladyback1 for that information. This is what I'm looking for. We live in maryland and the Children live in NC (8 hour drive). So what you are telling me make sense. I don't know if my daughter has a lawyer. She is not taking my calls, returning my text or emails. I have no other information other than what I have pryed out of the Social worker.

There are two kids, girl 8 and boy 10.

Hopefully they will be able to go with a cousin down in NC and not foster care.

 

[CdwJava]

No Right to be there?

Legally? That would be correct.

So I guess I should just roll over and die. Why are people so difficult? This is why so many children are Lost in the system b/c grandparents and other relatives have NO RIGHT!!!

As has been explained, the goal is to place children with local relatives if they are available and they meet the criteria for placement. Other relatives don't have any special rights simply because they share a strand of DNA. And placement outside the jurisdiction of the local CPS agency simply is not going to happen unless it is an adoption out.

So what should we do then? Nothing...just let them be lost in the system as if no one cares or wants them. Give me something other than I have no right and that there is nothing I can do. How about solutions, options, choices.

You can remain in contact with the CPS office of jurisdiction, and, you can work with an attorney in that jurisdiction who may be able to keep you appraised of the process. But, keep in mind, that these matters are confidential so you may get little to no information about proceedings. It can be very frustrating for relatives, but, the laws are very strict on such matters.

 

[Geriward]

As has been explained, the goal is to place children with local relatives if they are available and they meet the criteria for placement. Other relatives don't have any special rights simply because they share a strand of DNA. And placement outside the jurisdiction of the local CPS agency simply is not going to happen unless it is an adoption out.

If placement outside of the local CPS agency simply won't happen than why would ICPC even exitst? I will do my best to keep in touch with the agency and try to take my emotions out of the whole situtation. It is very frustrating. My daughter did this mess and I wish it only affected her and not the children, not us just her.

 

[CdwJava]

An adjacent county, maybe - another state? Exceedingly rare if not impossible.

 

[Silverplum]

No Right to be there?

So I guess I should just roll over and die. Why are people so difficult? This is why so many children are Lost in the system b/c grandparents and other relatives have NO RIGHT!!!

So what should we do then? Nothing...just let them be lost in the system as if no one cares or wants them. Give me something other than I have no right and that there is nothing I can do. How about solutions, options, choices.

You don't understand "the system" well enough to be so critical of it. You have fits at the nice volunteers here.

I suggest you hire an attorney to explain everything to you and to take your attitude.

 

[Geriward]

Thank you for your advice and I will contact a lawyer. And my "fit" is not a fit its called frustration...do I not have a right to be frustrated? You're right I don't understand that system. I've raised my kids, I don't do stupid crap to cause CPS to come knocking at my door so when this happens i have no other way to be than frustrated. I'm not cursing, I'm frustrated. Please know the difference if you are offended than please accept my apology. If you feel that you are wasting your time please don't respond.

 

[Ladyback1]

Thank you Ladyback1 for that information. This is what I'm looking for. We live in maryland and the Children live in NC (8 hour drive). So what you are telling me make sense. I don't know if my daughter has a lawyer. She is not taking my calls, returning my text or emails. I have no other information other than what I have pryed out of the Social worker.

There are two kids, girl 8 and boy 10.

Hopefully they will be able to go with a cousin down in NC and not foster care.

Unless the social worker has a release (signed by mom), she can not give you a lot of information. We are talking PHI/HIPAA information.

And I will caution you: Kinship foster placement is sometimes worse, and more difficult than "regular" foster care.
As a parent/family member are you prepared to: slam the door in the face of your daughter should she show up to see kids when she isn't suppose to be there? Are you willing to call the cops on your daughter should she show up and make a scene? Are you willing to have phone calls, texts, emails that are full of hateful, mean and vile words/thoughts from your daughter? And most importantly---Are you willing to subject the children to witnessing that? Or the children feeling that they have to chose between you and mom? There is very little separation in kinship care.

Most states require that foster placements have training and support to deal with the "nastiness" that can happen when a parent or parents have their children removed.

See, not only do I work within the "system" (my employer is a contractor with CPS), I have a grandchild that is in foster care in another state. I would love, love, love, to take the child. However, I am not willing to deal with the mother, father and crazy in-laws. Those people would never let go. They would be constantly harassing not only my husband and me, but our children as WELL AS--the baby. The baby would have no opportunity to grow up without constant conflict and intrusion by the parents and in-laws. (The parents are high-functioning low IQ with violent tendencies, and the in-laws are worse!). It has already been decided by CPS that they are going to terminate parental rights of the parents--with good reason! And, while I know that the baby would be loved, adored, cared for, cared about, etc. in my home--I cannot control the parents or the in-laws.

So, yes, I do understand what you are dealing with!

(and since I am the "evil" stepmother, I would have no issues whatsoever in dealing with the nastiness. I do it every day with some of the parents I work with. And well, I can be sort of witch when it is my duty, my job, my privilege to make sure children are safe and well cared for! ) My husband on the other hand would be forced to choose between a grandchild or his own child. Our teenage boys would be subject to the nastiness. And, the grandbaby would be caught in the middle. In the best interest of the grandbaby, I believe she should be adopted by non-kinship.)

 

[Geriward]

Thank you. And you are right would I be willing to deal with all of that "nastiness" I have been dealing with it. Since she's cut us off everytime I reach out to her or the kids she would lash out. Now I know for certain my other daughter could deal with it. She would probably be a better fit to slam the door and deny an unscheduled visit. Thank you for responding so openly with me.