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  1. #1
    1lousyduckhunte is offline Junior Member
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    deadbeat father and his parents

    What is the name of your state? OK

    My wife obtained custody of her 2 children a few years ago. The father had visitation and child support requirements. Neither have occurred. My wife has allowed his parents to see the children. It is the belief that if the father wants to see the children or take them he needs to go through the mother not his parents. Do the grandparents have the right without permission to take the children to see the father. No child support in approx. three years.
  2. #2
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1lousyduckhunte View Post
    What is the name of your state? OK

    My wife obtained custody of her 2 children a few years ago. The father had visitation and child support requirements. Neither have occurred. My wife has allowed his parents to see the children. It is the belief that if the father wants to see the children or take them he needs to go through the mother not his parents. Do the grandparents have the right without permission to take the children to see the father. No child support in approx. three years.
    Have the grandparents been taking the children to see thier father all along?

    What is the complaint about the grandparents doing so?
  3. #3
    Hot Topic is offline Senior Member
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    The real question is, why hasn't your wife used the courts to force her ex-husband to pay what's legally owed?

    The question of visitation is between your wife and the father of her two children. Period. What rights the grandparents have should have been defined by the court.
  4. #4
    1lousyduckhunte is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie3787 View Post
    Have the grandparents been taking the children to see thier father all along?

    According to the children this has only happened once.

    What is the complaint about the grandparents doing so?
    The problem is that if the father wanted to see his kids he would make every effort to do so according to the decree.
  5. #5
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1lousyduckhunte View Post
    The problem is that if the father wanted to see his kids he would make every effort to do so according to the decree.
    Does the court order specifically state that father MUST see his children ONLY by going to Mom's home?

    Does the order specifically state that NO ONE ELSE may assist father is his visitation?

    Truthfully, it really sounds like Mom is being very vindictive, and that will only hurt the children.

    I agree with the other poster, Mom needs to file in court to enforce the CS order. As for father visiting through his parents- if she doesn't like it, she can always file in court to ATTEMPT to modify the visitation order, but she'd most likely lose on that point.
  6. #6
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1lousyduckhunte View Post
    The problem is that if the father wanted to see his kids he would make every effort to do so according to the decree.
    Is there a restraining order? No? Than the GP's are doing nothing wrong. It's good for children to see their parents...BOTH of them...Grow up!
  7. #7
    1lousyduckhunte is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hot Topic View Post
    The real question is, why hasn't your wife used the courts to force her ex-husband to pay what's legally owed?

    She believes that the kids are better off without him in their lives.
    I have to agree of course, but i have seen the transformation. The kids are happier and doing better in school. The kids needs are met and its not about the money.

    The question of visitation is between your wife and the father of her two children. Period. What rights the grandparents have should have been defined by the court.
    There was never an issue about grandparents at the time.
  8. #8
    BL
    BL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1lousyduckhunte View Post
    There was never an issue about grandparents at the time.
    No one knows the issues between the Parents .

    Perhaps the father doesn't want to set eyes on the mother , and as long as he can see the children when the grandparents are allowed visits it's fine with him .

    Visitations are a right , not on obligation , legally .

    The CS is a separate issue , and contempt would be in order if mother wants CS .
  9. #9
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    The truth of the matter is that legally mom isn't required to provide any visitation to the grandparents at all. Therefore, she is free to stop providing them visitation, or to change the type of the visitation she is providing them, if they don't abide by her wishes.

    I don't have a personal opinion either way as to whether or not mom is morally right to put those kinds of restrictions on the grandparents, since I don't have enough information to have an opinion.
  10. #10
    Idori is offline Member
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    Free advice

    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    The truth of the matter is that legally mom isn't required to provide any visitation to the grandparents at all. Therefore, she is free to stop providing them visitation, or to change the type of the visitation she is providing them, if they don't abide by her wishes.

    I don't have a personal opinion either way as to whether or not mom is morally right to put those kinds of restrictions on the grandparents, since I don't have enough information to have an opinion.
    LdiJ gives some very good advice here, listen to her. But I'm going to give you my two cents anyway.

    It sounds like it is up to the mom to decide how she wants to handle this. She could let it go or if she was upset she could speak directly to the grandparents about it being a violation of her trust in them and damaging the easy access they have had so far. The grandparents have not been granted any 'rights' legally from the information you gave.

    In any case, be direct with the grandparents but don't discuss it in front of the kids. They should not be made to feel guilty after the fact if they were happy to see their dad. And they might have been. If they've already overheard the fallout from grandparents actions let them know your not upset with them. It sounds like your their daddy on a day to day basis. Keep your love for them coming through loud and clear no matter what.

    I personally think mom has been generous to let grandparents have an ongoing relationship with the kids on her time. That was their dads responsibility and so was CS. Sounds like a hard situation. Best wishes and happy holidays.

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