Do they really have a case against me?

[JessDav]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

Ok so this is gonna be a little long but I want to give details! My son is two and 1/2 and I have done everything my self! His biological father lived with me until he was a little over a year old, but it just didnt work because he never had any money to help with anything, he only worked to buy himself beer and drugs. Finally we fought enough and he moved out. He has never paid any support( i filed with child support enforcement but nothing ever came of it) and he has seen him like 6 times maybe in the last year and I have we have both since been married. I have been married 6 months and in december my ex told me that he would sign rights over for my husband to adopt when we were able to. My son and husband have a great relationship and love each other very much, my son wants to do everything he does and my husband treats him better than his dad ever did (obviously). Thats besides the point, I have continued letting my ex's parents see my son on a regular basis and maintained a good relationship with them, but the last several months they have started acting crazy. They became very demanding and controlling. They were almost harassing me, they were calling me every day, texting me tons and just trying to tell me how everything had to be done. They were bossing me around and just driving me nuts. I had been letting them see him every Friday night and it was very inconveniant for me so i asked them to start saturday nights insted and they did for a couple weeks but then said they had to change back it didnt work for them, I said ok, even though I told them it was not good for me. With there never ending calls and texts and demands I just needed some space and I asked them for that, some space with my son, time to work on my family, time to be a newly wed and time to make big decisions on the next step in my future. They flipped out and said it was unexceptable (this was the last weekend in janurary). I just wanted a couple weeks to travel and spend time with myson with no interuptions and they said it was wrong of me and her response was "if youve been dating someone for 4 years and all the sudden ask for space, how do you expect that person to feel", not to mention she had introduced me to people as her daughter in law (and her son and I were never married). I said, well its not permanent I just need some time to myself and after you can have him every other weekend, because I want to start having my weekends with him. She would not listen and still acted crazy, with this I said well, on March 11th you can see him since you want a set date but until then I want space. She never stopped the calls and text and still wanted him every weekend so I got scared and started ignoreing her text and calls. I was scared that if I did take him to meet her she wouldnt be there with him when it was time to pick him up. Well, on Monday I got served with papers requesting grandparent visitation and for my ex to establish paternity and get visitation. In the papers it says that I "unilaterally terminated visitation", I am just very confused by this and wonder if I could actually be ordered to give them visitation. All I did was try to restrict it. I also wonder as to the validity of the "grandfather" being on there, he is only my ex's step parent.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arkansas

Ok so this is gonna be a little long but I want to give details! My son is two and 1/2 and I have done everything my self! His biological father lived with me until he was a little over a year old, but it just didnt work because he never had any money to help with anything, he only worked to buy himself beer and drugs. Finally we fought enough and he moved out. He has never paid any support( i filed with child support enforcement but nothing ever came of it) and he has seen him like 6 times maybe in the last year and I have we have both since been married. I have been married 6 months and in december my ex told me that he would sign rights over for my husband to adopt when we were able to. My son and husband have a great relationship and love each other very much, my son wants to do everything he does and my husband treats him better than his dad ever did (obviously). Thats besides the point, I have continued letting my ex's parents see my son on a regular basis and maintained a good relationship with them, but the last several months they have started acting crazy. They became very demanding and controlling. They were almost harassing me, they were calling me every day, texting me tons and just trying to tell me how everything had to be done. They were bossing me around and just driving me nuts. I had been letting them see him every Friday night and it was very inconveniant for me so i asked them to start saturday nights insted and they did for a couple weeks but then said they had to change back it didnt work for them, I said ok, even though I told them it was not good for me. With there never ending calls and texts and demands I just needed some space and I asked them for that, some space with my son, time to work on my family, time to be a newly wed and time to make big decisions on the next step in my future. They flipped out and said it was unexceptable (this was the last weekend in janurary). I just wanted a couple weeks to travel and spend time with myson with no interuptions and they said it was wrong of me and her response was "if youve been dating someone for 4 years and all the sudden ask for space, how do you expect that person to feel", not to mention she had introduced me to people as her daughter in law (and her son and I were never married). I said, well its not permanent I just need some time to myself and after you can have him every other weekend, because I want to start having my weekends with him. She would not listen and still acted crazy, with this I said well, on March 11th you can see him since you want a set date but until then I want space. She never stopped the calls and text and still wanted him every weekend so I got scared and started ignoreing her text and calls. I was scared that if I did take him to meet her she wouldnt be there with him when it was time to pick him up. Well, on Monday I got served with papers requesting grandparent visitation and for my ex to establish paternity and get visitation. In the papers it says that I "unilaterally terminated visitation", I am just very confused by this and wonder if I could actually be ordered to give them visitation. All I did was try to restrict it. I also wonder as to the validity of the "grandfather" being on there, he is only my ex's step parent.

She does have standing to sue for visitation, but standing to sue for visitation is not a guarantee of a win. I would recommend that you find an attorney who has some experience in fighting grandparent visitation suits.

However, one point that definitely should be argued is that if dad establishes paternity and receives a visitation schedule that the grandmother should not be given separate visitation of her own. She should see the child on dad's time. In addition, ask that the grandfather be removed from the case as he is a stepgrandparent.

 

[ElvinMelvin]

She does have standing to sue for visitation, but standing to sue for visitation is not a guarantee of a win.

First things first.

Grandma has no standing to sue unless and until her son establishes paternity:

9-13-103. Visitation rights of grandparents when the child is in the custody of a parent

(b) A grandparent or great-grandparent may petition a circuit court of this state for reasonable visitation rights with respect to his or her grandchild or grandchildren or great-grandchild or great-grandchildren under this section if:

(3) The child is illegitimate, the petitioner is a paternal grandparent of the illegitimate child, and paternity has been established by a court of competent jurisdiction.

You really do need an attorney who specializes in grandparent issues. I would suggest you pick someone local who will be familiar with the court in your jurisdiction.

If Grandma establishes standing, it is possible that the court will send you to mediation. My advice is to agree to nothing in mediation. You can appeal a court order if it goes against you. It is nearly impossible to undo something that you agreed to in mediation.

JMHO

 

[TheGeekess]

First things first.

Grandma has no standing to sue unless and until her son establishes paternity:



You really do need an attorney who specializes in grandparent issues. I would suggest you pick someone local who will be familiar with the court in your jurisdiction.

If Grandma establishes standing, it is possible that the court will send you to mediation. My advice is to agree to nothing in mediation. You can appeal a court order if it goes against you. It is nearly impossible to undo something that you agreed to in mediation.

JMHO

No you can't.

 

[LdiJ]

No you can't.

Well, yes she actually can. She cannot necessarily win an appeal if the judge did not make a legal error or abuse his/her discretion, but she can still file.

And ElvinMelvin, they have also filed to establish dad's paternity...so its a moot point that it has not yet been established, because its going to be established.

 

[ElvinMelvin]

No you can't.

Really?

I've read quite a number of GPV cases that were overturned on appeal.

 

[TheGeekess]

Really?

I've read quite a number of GPV cases that were overturned on appeal.

And how many of those were simply because the parents didn't like the outcome?

 

[LdiJ]

And how many of those were simply because the parents didn't like the outcome?

A surprisingly large number Geekess...because in just about every case the appeal was simply because the parents didn't like the outcome. However that is because much of the gpv statutes were unconstitutional or applied unconstitutionally...and because judge's frequently abused their discretion in making gpv orders. Therefore there was ALWAYS an argument of law to be made, even when the reason was simply that the parents didn't like the outcome.

Remember, a third party case is not the same as a case between two parents with equal constitutional rights. A third party case is ALWAYS between a parent with constitutional rights and a third party with none. Again, that pretty much automatically allows for arguments of law to be made.