Does grandparent visitation come out of the mother or the fathers time?

[lover42694]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My son is 4 months old his father and I are not together he gets visitation every other weekend. His mother is taking us to court for grandparent visitation rights now of she was to win since she is not my mother and I am not related to her would her visitation come out of her sons time and her son be the one responsible to provide her visitation with her grandson? I don't mind her seeing her grandson I just don't want it falling on me following two court ordered visitation schedules for my 4 month old son would be unfair. Thank you!

 

[cbg]

If she is to win visitation the judge will tell you whose time it will come out of. There isn't a law that guarantees it will always be one way or the other.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My son is 4 months old his father and I are not together he gets visitation every other weekend. His mother is taking us to court for grandparent visitation rights now of she was to win since she is not my mother and I am not related to her would her visitation come out of her sons time and her son be the one responsible to provide her visitation with her grandson? I don't mind her seeing her grandson I just don't want it falling on me following two court ordered visitation schedules for my 4 month old son would be unfair. Thank you!

You need to argue strenuously in court that any visitation for paternal relatives needs to come out of the father's time with the child. In fact, you need to argue strenuously that there is no need for a grandparent visitation order as grandma is free to see the child during dad's time.

This is a grandparent who should NOT win independent visitation rights.

 

[BL]

What are the custody and visitation orders now?

It may be possible if the court does award grandprent visititation,it may fall on a Sat. or Sun. for a few hrs. a couple times a month that the father doesn't.

I agree though to argue the grandmother does not need an order as you do not mind her visiting and she could also see the child on dad's visitation times.

That you are not denying her visits.

 

[justalayman]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My son is 4 months old his father and I are not together he gets visitation every other weekend. His mother is taking us to court for grandparent visitation rights now of she was to win since she is not my mother and I am not related to her would her visitation come out of her sons time and her son be the one responsible to provide her visitation with her grandson? I don't mind her seeing her grandson I just don't want it falling on me following two court ordered visitation schedules for my 4 month old son would be unfair. Thank you!

I'm not with the others on this unless certain conditions are present.


the father gets the children every other weekend. That means you get them all the time 2 weeks a month and 4-5 days out of 7, 2 weeks a month. Not seeing why the father's time should be given up to his mother, necessarily. They are separate people.

Now, if they live together, or if the time becomes simply an extension of dads time (effectively the visitation is for dad's purposes), UI would argue grandma can visit child on dad's time. If they do not live together and dad is not an automatic guest on g-ma's visitation time, I see no reason g-ma doesn't deserve a decent part of a day of her own.

 

[lover42694]

I have sole custody and the father has every other weekend and we split holidays. I don't deny her visits I just don't let her visit every single time she asks and I dont want to continue dealing with her much longer she puts a lot of stress on me and since the father gets visitation I don't see why I should have to continue to cater to her wants when her son is more than capable of bring her grandson to visit with her neither of us are denying her visits she is just very demanding and wants at least once a week thats a lot to ask for I feel.

 

[stealth2]

I see no reason g-ma doesn't deserve a decent part of a day of her own.

It's not her kid. By you token. mybe the mailman deserves a decent part of a day on his own with the child.

Or grandma could call OP and ask nicely if she could take kiddo to the park and then dinner one afternoon.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm not with the others on this unless certain conditions are present.


the father gets the children every other weekend. That means you get them all the time 2 weeks a month and 4-5 days out of 7, 2 weeks a month. Not seeing why the father's time should be given up to his mother, necessarily. They are separate people.

Now, if they live together, or if the time becomes simply an extension of dads time (effectively the visitation is for dad's purposes), UI would argue grandma can visit child on dad's time. If they do not live together and dad is not an automatic guest on g-ma's visitation time, I see no reason g-ma doesn't deserve a decent part of a day of her own.

Against the wishes of the parent?

Grandparents have no inherent rights anywhere, and while it's not a 100% guarantee, the grandparents who respect and abide by the parents rules tend not to be the ones in court (there are exceptions to this, naturally)

I'm one of the few (I believe) posters here who strongly believes in the concept of "it takes a village". I'd be devastated if I wasn't allowed to see our 3 but my wishes should never trump those of their parents.

 

[BL]

I have sole custody and the father has every other weekend and we split holidays. I don't deny her visits I just don't let her visit every single time she asks and I dont want to continue dealing with her much longer she puts a lot of stress on me and since the father gets visitation I don't see why I should have to continue to cater to her wants when her son is more than capable of bring her grandson to visit with her neither of us are denying her visits she is just very demanding and wants at least once a week thats a lot to ask for I feel.

Once every two weeks for 9 hrs. on Sat. is what my GF agreed to in court . 8 AM to 5 PM home on time.

Pick up / Drop off by demanding defamitory grammy.

 

[Proserpina]

Once every two weeks for 9 hrs. on Sat. is what my GF agreed to in court . 8 AM to 5 PM home on time.

Pick up / Drop off by demanding defamitory grammy.

Your girlfriend perhaps shouldn't have agreed and let the grandparent try to prove the case.

Once a GPV is ordered, it's not easy to get it overturned and I would hate to think of OP getting pressured to "settle" during mediation.

OP should remember too that the grandparents have no established bond whatsoever with the baby. In most States, that is a requirement and would generally nix the issue there and then (exceptional circumstances notwithstanding). However, NY is - I believe - one of the most GPV-friendly states and there's just no guarantee.

OP needs to fight this tooth and nail. Because frankly if Grandma is threatening to sue over visitation with a four month old baby who already has visitation with the father, it is painfully clear (to me at least) that her interests lie not with the infant, but with her own selfishness.

And yeah, that's brutally selfish.

 

[Ohiogal]

Your girlfriend perhaps shouldn't have agreed and let the grandparent try to prove the case.

Once a GPV is ordered, it's not easy to get it overturned and I would hate to think of OP getting pressured to "settle" during mediation.

OP should remember too that the grandparents have no established bond whatsoever with the baby. In most States, that is a requirement and would generally nix the issue there and then (exceptional circumstances notwithstanding). However, NY is - I believe - one of the most GPV-friendly states and there's just no guarantee.

OP needs to fight this tooth and nail. Because frankly if Grandma is threatening to sue over visitation with a four month old baby who already has visitation with the father, it is painfully clear (to me at least) that her interests lie not with the infant, but with her own selfishness.

And yeah, that's brutally selfish.

While I agree with this, I also agree with justalayman. I do not see the court IF THEY ORDER GRANDMA TO HAVE VISITATION limiting dad's visitation more than it already is. OP already has the majority of the time and dad has every other weekend and half the holidays. Dad's time is NOT going to get cut if grandma receives court ordered visitation. Therefore the time would come out of OP's majority of time. Do I believe that grandparents should get court ordered visitation? Not necessarily. But if the court orders it, I can see mom losing some of her time to grandma.

 

[Proserpina]

Out of curiosity, as this is not a parent v. parent case, as the child gets older would s/he have any input? Modification?

I hope this grandparent knows what the heck she's dealing with. Because once that child comes of age, s/he is going to want to have absolutely nothing to do with that side of the family.

 

[LdiJ]

While I agree with this, I also agree with justalayman. I do not see the court IF THEY ORDER GRANDMA TO HAVE VISITATION limiting dad's visitation more than it already is. OP already has the majority of the time and dad has every other weekend and half the holidays. Dad's time is NOT going to get cut if grandma receives court ordered visitation. Therefore the time would come out of OP's majority of time. Do I believe that grandparents should get court ordered visitation? Not necessarily. But if the court orders it, I can see mom losing some of her time to grandma.

I disagree. I have seen lots of cases where paternal grandparents (including in NY) want time of their own and want it to come from the mother's time (or vice-versa). Judges do not normally order that. Rushia's case was in NY and even in that one the gp's time came out of dad's time.

Think about it? Dad gets ever other weekend. A judge thinks that Grandma deserves every other Saturday and takes it from mom's time. Effectively, mom then gets zero full weekends with the child. Now, lets say that mom's parents then sue for visitation rights because they no longer get to see the child on weekends...see how it goes?

No, grandparents should see grandchildren on their own child's time.

 

[Ohiogal]

I disagree. I have seen lots of cases where paternal grandparents (including in NY) want time of their own and want it to come from the mother's time (or vice-versa). Judges do not normally order that. Rushia's case was in NY and even in that one the gp's time came out of dad's time.

Think about it? Dad gets ever other weekend. A judge thinks that Grandma deserves every other Saturday and takes it from mom's time. Effectively, mom then gets zero full weekends with the child. Now, lets say that mom's parents then sue for visitation rights because they no longer get to see the child on weekends...see how it goes?

No, grandparents should see grandchildren on their own child's time.

Can you cite a case that I can read the decision on? Grandparents getting COURT ORDERED VISITATION is not the same thing as grandparents seeing grandchildren on their own child's time.

 

[LdiJ]

Can you cite a case that I can read the decision on? Grandparents getting COURT ORDERED VISITATION is not the same thing as grandparents seeing grandchildren on their own child's time.

Do you need Rushia's case to be cited?

No, I cannot give you a cite because I have never known that to be an issue that went up for appeal. No appeal, no case law.

Grandparents should see grandchildren on their own child's time, whether its under court order or not. This grandma wants one day a week. That's absurd.