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fighting without an attorney

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C

commentator

Senior Member
I think you should hire an attorney. This is a very important thing in your life. You are out of your league here, and it's as foolish as trying to do your own brain surgery. For example, do you do your own taxes? Many people don't, they hire a professional, and yet taxes are one of those things that you do every year, and that are actually supposed to be something you could do for yourself.

Dealing with this child custody issue is a thing you do NOT do regularly, even yearly, and this is something that could have a huge effect on your child's life, and yet here you are blundering around wondering if you can get a freebie or if you will be able to respond, can anybody show me the law, will I be able to ask questions, etc.

This is not something you can just make up on the spur of the moment. Judges are not noticeably kind and forgiving to people who try to self represent without a clue what they are doing. And right now before the hearing is not the time to try to gather the knowledge and professionalism to do it yourself. At least hire an attorney to help you draft the letter. There are many expenses in your life, even though you don't have much money, that you pay because they are just the costs of living a reasonably decent life, e.g. internet service, tax prep, medical treatment, pest control. This is one of those. Treat it as such and hire an attorney.
 


T

torimac

Member
Social security?

OP have you filed for benefits? When my brother in law died in a car accident, my sister filed. She received social security not only for her children, but also for herself, even though they were divorced. She had not remarried at that time and qualified for benefits. I suggest this because it might help with the legal bills.
 
LdiJ

LdiJ

Senior Member
beeper1127 said:
Prosperina, yes staying in NY, I do not feel I need to agree to anything as visits do happen and have consistently happened throughout.
Ohgal,
I do get. Paid for working I also volunteer and get no monetary compensation. I have heard some attorneys volunteer time as well. I am asking for advice on how to proceed if this goes to court in NY without having the benefit of an attorney. Will I be able to give the judge history of behavior? Will I be able to ask the gps questions? Has anyone been through a case that can give me an idea of the procedure?
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You don't have a case yet.

I am not sure that you need or should respond to the attorney's letter at all.

However, I am going to send a private message to someone who has been through that in NY. Her screen name is Rushia. Hopefully she will come along and give you some info for NY.
 
B

BL

Senior Member
In NY , indingent parents ( not grands ) can be appointed an attorney at no cost.

There is also law firms that charge on a sliding scale basis of income.

As far as Pro Bono , you can hang around a Family Court room and ask around.

The court is going to want you to have an Attorney.

If & when the Grand(s) file a petition ask for one if you qualify.

Also ask ( might not have to ) for a guardian Ad Litem to represent the child.

Also, if the child(ren) have a mental health councelor , their recommendation will be taken into account .

If the Grand is hell bent on saying what she pleases and it would be considered unwise for the child to hear , you may have to stop contact altogether until the matter is decided .
 
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R

Rushia

Senior Member
BL said:
In NY , indingent parents ( not grands ) can be appointed an attorney at no cost.

There is also law firms that charge on a sliding scale basis of income.

As far as Pro Bono , you can hang around a Family Court room and ask around.

The court is going to want you to have an Attorney.

If & when the Grand(s) file a petition ask for one if you qualify.

Also ask ( might not have to ) for a guardian Ad Litem to represent the child.

Also, if the child(ren) have a mental health councelor , their recommendation will be taken into account .

If the Grand is hell bent on saying what she pleases and it would be considered unwise for the child to hear , you may have to stop contact altogether until the matter is decided .
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This!! The only thing I disagree with is the Law Guardian. Do NOT ask for one. This is one of the things we are attempting to fight. It is one thing to have a person to look out for the child when the parents are fighting, but another when it's a grandparent.

If this is only a "do what we ask or we're going to get an order to force you to do it" letter, your only answer should state that:

Mr/Mrs attorney

Your client already enjoys visitation with my children and as such I do not understand this request. I will not agree to any schedule. Thank you for your letter.

Sincerely,

Mom

Then do NOT agree to anything until you have that attorney.
 
S

single317dad

Senior Member
Rushia said:
Your client already enjoys visitation with my children
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I'd be careful with that; it could be used later as an admission of an existing relationship should Mom decide to stop taking the kids to see the GPs. Without an attorney, I wouldn't say much more than "no, thank you."
 
R

Rushia

Senior Member
single317dad said:
I'd be careful with that; it could be used later as an admission of an existing relationship should Mom decide to stop taking the kids to see the GPs. Without an attorney, I wouldn't say much more than "no, thank you."
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In NY, existing relationships do not matter. Nor would stopping one. Trust me. In NY, all that will matter is that the father is deceased. That gives Gramma standing. Then it goes to best interests. The father being deceased gives Gramma a VERY good case against this Mother if Gramma cries enough tears and pulls the right heartstrings.

This Mother NEEDS an attorney.
 
B

beeper1127

Junior Member
thank you

Thank you all for the advice! I have contacted an attorney who unfortunately can not represent me as she is not qualified in ny but she is giving me advice and trying to help me find an attorney who will work with my financial situation.
 
B

BL

Senior Member
Rushia said:
In NY, existing relationships do not matter. Nor would stopping one. Trust me. In NY, all that will matter is that the father is deceased. That gives Gramma standing. Then it goes to best interests. The father being deceased gives Gramma a VERY good case against this Mother if Gramma cries enough tears and pulls the right heartstrings.

This Mother NEEDS an attorney.
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With the case years ago of my GF's and the Grandmother / Father incarcerated 25 to life , the court itself appointed a Guardian Ad Litem.

I beleive that since the father is deceased ,the same will happen should grand petition the court.

That's why my reference.

It would be wise of Mom to be able to have documentation to support the phycologist recomendation(s).

I did not catch the child's age ?
 
B

beeper1127

Junior Member
How do you fight having a gal appointed? Had one with custody case that was appointed and had no issues with her but was surprised at receiving a bill which is something I do have issue with
 
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