gparents threating to get rights

[confusednok]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma
Okay well me and sons dad were never married he is a unfit parent. I on the other hand am not. ANy one my sons dad's parents were seening my son for a few mths and then got mad and stopped seeing him. Then 3 yrs later called and wanted to see him again. I gave them a chance and everything was okay for a yr and a few mths and then went bad. My son didnt want to go to thier house one time during the time that we had scheduled.My sons dad is not really in the picture and so his dads side gparents split my sons dad weekends so they can see him. Well because my son didnt go they freaked out calling me a big fat liar saying i put my son up to it and everything. My son is 6 he can make his decisions about what he wants to do. I started calling as soon as my son said he didnt want to go. No one answerd my calls but showed up at my house any way and expected him to go. my son said no and they lost it calling me names and saying taht i used them to get what I want and so on. Then said they were done and said bye. I then decided to let it b and not talk to them again. Then I get a text 2 days later saying they wanna talk this out. So i call them and it starts all over again then they ask for my weekend cause they didnt get theirs. I say let me ask son if he wants to go they tell me no i cant do that and i said last time I checked im the mom. then i said ok fine you can see him for the weekend but i expect when i call they answer and let me talk to him. They laugh and repeats it back like to say what ever so i get off the phone. I then talked with my husband sons step dad for almost 4 yrs and we decided it would best not to send him. So i send them an email to keep the fighting down to a minium. They send me a letter back stating dates and stuff saying all kinds of stuff and then have the same letter sent certified mail. I jsut let it go then last night i started getting txt and phone calls saying they can prove sons dad unfit and that they qulify for gparent rights. Do they have a leg to stand on being that they are in and out of his life. Also i did send out a calender to both gparents with dates that they would get him so that each set would stop calling asking while my son was at the other gparents. was taht a contract by any means?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oklahoma
Okay well me and sons dad were never married he is a unfit parent. I on the other hand am not. ANy one my sons dad's parents were seening my son for a few mths and then got mad and stopped seeing him. Then 3 yrs later called and wanted to see him again. I gave them a chance and everything was okay for a yr and a few mths and then went bad. My son didnt want to go to thier house one time during the time that we had scheduled.My sons dad is not really in the picture and so his dads side gparents split my sons dad weekends so they can see him. Well because my son didnt go they freaked out calling me a big fat liar saying i put my son up to it and everything. My son is 6 he can make his decisions about what he wants to do. I started calling as soon as my son said he didnt want to go. No one answerd my calls but showed up at my house any way and expected him to go. my son said no and they lost it calling me names and saying taht i used them to get what I want and so on. Then said they were done and said bye. I then decided to let it b and not talk to them again. Then I get a text 2 days later saying they wanna talk this out. So i call them and it starts all over again then they ask for my weekend cause they didnt get theirs. I say let me ask son if he wants to go they tell me no i cant do that and i said last time I checked im the mom. then i said ok fine you can see him for the weekend but i expect when i call they answer and let me talk to him. They laugh and repeats it back like to say what ever so i get off the phone. I then talked with my husband sons step dad for almost 4 yrs and we decided it would best not to send him. So i send them an email to keep the fighting down to a minium. They send me a letter back stating dates and stuff saying all kinds of stuff and then have the same letter sent certified mail. I jsut let it go then last night i started getting txt and phone calls saying they can prove sons dad unfit and that they qulify for gparent rights. Do they have a leg to stand on being that they are in and out of his life. Also i did send out a calender to both gparents with dates that they would get him so that each set would stop calling asking while my son was at the other gparents. was taht a contract by any means?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

A couple of things...

Unless you have the degree to back up your statement, dad being "unfit" is a claim you are not qualified to make.

Second, your son is six. He is definitely not "fit" to make his own decision about what he wants to do. If you do believe that to be true, I question your ability to parent properly.

Third, if you do not want your child arount his grandparents that is your call. Do no be threatened by them or anyone else. Grandparents have no inherent rights to their grandchildren.

 

[muchneededhelp]

First off- please separate sentences! I had to double take your letter a few times, I couldn't keep up.

Second- Every state has grandparent rights. Any grandparent can file a petition, whether its granted is a different case. Oklahoma law gives them grounds to file as you and your son's father were never married. Oklahoma is also one of the "Best interests of the child" state. If they ever filed for visitation rights, you'd have to prove that your child does not have an established relationship with them- so please document every time your child made contact with his grandparents and to what extent; was it overnight visits? Or daytime visits? Did they see him consistently every other weekend, or sporadic as you say? Please save & document emails, texts, anything you have. They might be helpful with your case at a later date.

Where is the father? Maybe you can work out something with him regarding his parents sharing his visits. Also, I would tread lightly by saying he's an unfit parent- if you feel his is, then why are you allowing your child over there for visitation? Unfit parent is a serious allegation and if you walk into court spewing that grief then the courts will second guess your parenting as well to allow it.

But, no- grandparents have no inherent right to your child. Doesn't mean they won't try, so be prepared. If your son is balking and saying he doesn't want to go, then don't send him. Period. Refuse contact with the grandparents. Continue normal visitation with the father. Also look up Oklahoma Grandparents Rights while you are at it, and pretend that they might take you to court. Because you just never know what grandparents will do- they are craaaaazy.

 

[stealth2]

My son is 6 he can make his decisions about what he wants to do.

ROFLMAO! So - when he tells you he doesn't want to go to school, you're going to let him stay home? When he tells you he doesn't want to go to the dentist, you're going to let his teeth fall out of his head? And so on and so forth. Really, hon - at 6, he shouldn't be making these decisions.

 

[Proserpina]

Second- Every state has grandparent rights.

Downright, flat out WRONG.

Any grandparent can file a petition, whether its granted is a different case.

WRONG again. There are (thankfully) states where grandparents don't even have standing to file.

Oklahoma law gives them grounds to file as you and your son's father were never married. Oklahoma is also one of the "Best interests of the child" state. If they ever filed for visitation rights, you'd have to prove that your child does not have an established relationship with them- so please document every time your child made contact with his grandparents and to what extent; was it overnight visits? Or daytime visits? Did they see him consistently every other weekend, or sporadic as you say? Please save & document emails, texts, anything you have. They might be helpful with your case at a later date.

Where is the father? Maybe you can work out something with him regarding his parents sharing his visits. Also, I would tread lightly by saying he's an unfit parent- if you feel his is, then why are you allowing your child over there for visitation? Unfit parent is a serious allegation and if you walk into court spewing that grief then the courts will second guess your parenting as well to allow it.

But, no- grandparents have no inherent right to your child. Doesn't mean they won't try, so be prepared. If your son is balking and saying he doesn't want to go, then don't send him. Period. Refuse contact with the grandparents. Continue normal visitation with the father. Also look up Oklahoma Grandparents Rights while you are at it, and pretend that they might take you to court. Because you just never know what grandparents will do- they are craaaaazy.

I suggest more reading, less posting. At least for now.

 

[muchneededhelp]

Prosperina: Downright, flat out WRONG.

Could you enlighten me, then? I haven't found a state yet that says "No laws whatsoever for grandparent rights. Screw them!" I usually find tidbits such as:

"All 50 states have laws that allow grandparents to sue for visitation rights, but the requirements to file that lawsuit vary by state."

Prosperina: WRONG again. There are (thankfully) states where grandparents don't even have standing to file.

I agree. I worded that wrong. I should of written "If they have STANDING to file." Still, according to OK law, they might.

 

[Proserpina]

Downright, flat out WRONG.

Could you enlighten me, then? I haven't found a state yet that says "No laws whatsoever for grandparent rights. Screw them!" I usually find tidbits such as: <i>
"All 50 states have laws that allow grandparents to sue for visitation rights, but the requirements to file that lawsuit vary by state."</i>

Grandparents don't have ANY inherent rights in ANY state.


Wording is vitally important.

WRONG again. There are (thankfully) states where grandparents don't even have standing to file.

I agree. I worded that wrong. I should of written "If they have STANDING to file." Still, according to OK law, they might.

Have you ever heard of "Troxel"?

I suggest you google, my friend. Start with WA and FL....then, review your tidbits. Because they're flat out wrong.

 

[muchneededhelp]

I've read Troxel and too many cases to count. I've read a LOT of things. I've also read how many parents are raked over the coals by grandparents because the judge feels his decision is better than the parents INHERENT rights. Just because the law says one thing, doesn't mean the judge won't say another unfortunately. They might not have inherent rights, doesn't mean the law doesn't afford them a way to ask for visitation.

 

[Proserpina]

I've read Troxel and too many cases to count. I've read a LOT of things. I've also read how many parents are raked over the coals by grandparents because the judge feels his decision is better than the parents INHERENT rights. Just because the law says one thing, doesn't mean the judge won't say another unfortunately. They might not have inherent rights, doesn't mean the law doesn't afford them a way to ask for visitation.

Then you should understand why I said what I did in my posts.

 

[muchneededhelp]

And lets be clear- I ABHOR all of this. I hate how grandparents can interject into your lives, take things over, and think they DO have an inherent right. I hate how the laws are written, I hate how the 14th amendment affords all of us as parents the right to raise our kids as we see fit yet when it comes to grandparents, it's a different story apparently. I'm allowed to limit my children's exposure to other people, yet my parents fall into the "Heartstrings" category that suckers a judge. That parents allow access to the grandparents, and when the grandparents overstep their authority, create an unhealthy environment, the parents are taken to court ruthlessly because "booo, we love our grandchild, the parents are being spiteful and withholding them from us!"

It's pathetic, really. Grandparents do NOT have rights. But that doesn't stop the worst of them from running to the courts, making the parents rack up thousands of dollars in lawyer fees... creating a power struggle that no fit parent should have to go thru.

 

[Proserpina]

And lets be clear- I ABHOR all of this. I hate how grandparents can interject into your lives, take things over, and think they DO have an inherent right. I hate how the laws are written, I hate how the 14th amendment affords all of us as parents the right to raise our kids as we see fit yet when it comes to grandparents, it's a different story apparently. I'm allowed to limit my children's exposure to other people, yet my parents fall into the "Heartstrings" category that suckers a judge. That parents allow access to the grandparents, and when the grandparents overstep their authority, create an unhealthy environment, the parents are taken to court ruthlessly because "booo, we love our grandchild, the parents are being spiteful and withholding them from us!"

It's pathetic, really. Grandparents do NOT have rights. But that doesn't stop the worst of them from running to the courts, making the parents rack up thousands of dollars in lawyer fees... creating a power struggle that no fit parent should have to go thru.

This, I applaud and loudly!

 

[muchneededhelp]

Then you should understand why I said what I did in my posts.

I apologize. Grandparent rights are not real. Grandparent VISITATION is. Forgive me.

 

[Proserpina]

I apologize. Grandparent rights are not real. Grandparent VISITATION is. Forgive me.

Psst...read my last post thingy

 

[muchneededhelp]

This, I applaud and loudly!

Phew. I don't want enemies on here

 

[Proserpina]

Phew. I don't want enemies on here

Awww sheesh...I'm actually one of the less..uh.."caustic" seniors. Yes, I get a bug up my arse about terminology at times, but I'm really not that bad.

I even like some members