GPV in NY - Intact Family

[Songwriter]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My husband's parents have filed a petition for forced visitation with our young toddler. My husbands step-father has major control / anger issues, with a history of domestic violence and emotional abuse. My husband's mother is not being denied access to our child, but she has filed with her husband. I have two questions:

1. When is it determined that they have standing to move forward with this? Or is the fact that they were granted a court date mean that it has already been assumed or decided that they have standing?

2. This feels like harassment by litigation. They are trying to intimidate us and control us - my husband's step-father is all about control. He has always been a bully (a bully with money). Our concern is our son's well-being. Their only concern is "winning." Are there resources / support groups for parents being out through this sort of thing?

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My husband's parents have filed a petition for forced visitation with our young toddler. My husbands step-father has major control / anger issues, with a history of domestic violence and emotional abuse. My husband's mother is not being denied access to our child, but she has filed with her husband. I have two questions:

1. When is it determined that they have standing to move forward with this? Or is the fact that they were granted a court date mean that it has already been assumed or decided that they have standing?

2. This feels like harassment by litigation. They are trying to intimidate us and control us - my husband's step-father is all about control. He has always been a bully (a bully with money). Our concern is our son's well-being. Their only concern is "winning." Are there resources / support groups for parents being out through this sort of thing?

We have two or three members that are very conversant in GPV. I'll see if I can't pop a message to them.

 

[Songwriter]

We have two or three members that are very conversant in GPV. I'll see if I can't pop a message to them.

Thank you!

 

[longislandguy]

http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/nycode/DOM/5/72

That's the section on NYS code that outlines grandparents rights...

And this is the most recent case law i can find on it
http://divorce.clementlaw.com/visitation/grandparents-granted-visitation-approved-by-new-yorks-highest-court/

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you!

Yeap - please stand by. We have at least a couple of posters who have had GPV ordered despite their wishes.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My husband's parents have filed a petition for forced visitation with our young toddler. My husbands step-father has major control / anger issues, with a history of domestic violence and emotional abuse. My husband's mother is not being denied access to our child, but she has filed with her husband. I have two questions:

1. When is it determined that they have standing to move forward with this? Or is the fact that they were granted a court date mean that it has already been assumed or decided that they have standing?

2. This feels like harassment by litigation. They are trying to intimidate us and control us - my husband's step-father is all about control. He has always been a bully (a bully with money). Our concern is our son's well-being. Their only concern is "winning." Are there resources / support groups for parents being out through this sort of thing?

1. Unfortunately, standing is most likely a given.

2. The most important advice we can really give you is not to agree to anything in mediation. Make them prove their case. It's not a slam dunk for either side, but you absolutely do NOT have to agree to anything before a judge rules.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Proserpina,

Or is the court date to see if there IS standing to go forward?

Do NOT agree to anything in mediation. Make a judge rule on the facts of the case.

In the parent's favor: intact family.

Have you ever resided with the grandparents after the child was born? How much visitation has the grandparents received since birth of the child?

 

[Proserpina]

Proserpina,

Or is the court date to see if there IS standing to go forward?

Do NOT agree to anything in mediation. Make a judge rule on the facts of the case.

In the parent's favor: intact family.

Have you ever resided with the grandparents after the child was born? How much visitation has the grandparents received since birth of the child?

I'd ordinarily say the first court date would be largely to decide standing. But this is GPV in New York, and despite what's fair, right or decent, NY has a nasty tendency to allow GPV suits where many other States would nip it in the bud (if nipping in the bud is what needs to be done) before it gets to the Judge's desk.

 

[brandnew1]

http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/nycode/DOM/5/72

That's the section on NYS code that outlines grandparents rights...

And this is the most recent case law i can find on it
http://divorce.clementlaw.com/visitation/grandparents-granted-visitation-approved-by-new-yorks-highest-court/

Check your private messages Long Island guy

 

[Rushia]

First and Foremost. Standing cannot have been granted by virtue of a hearing being scheduled. At this first hearing they are going to try to force you to agree to an order, do NOT agree to anything. No matter how much the judge/referee yells threatens or intimidates you, do NOT agree to anything being put into an order.

2nd. Get a lawyer

3rd. Unless the stepfather legally adopted your husband, he has no right to sue you under NY statute for visitation. A GP must be biologically or legally (as in adoption, being step grandpa means NOTHING) This is why you need a lawyer. A lawyer may be able to get this dismissed on that basis alone. Then mom would have to refile on her own, or they may continue the case but without step grampa on the petition.

Further, feel free to pm me. I am a support group. LOL. I have talked to people all over the US, sometimes for nothing more than being a shoulder to cry on as I've gone through this myself.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

My husband's parents have filed a petition for forced visitation with our young toddler. My husbands step-father has major control / anger issues, with a history of domestic violence and emotional abuse. My husband's mother is not being denied access to our child, but she has filed with her husband. I have two questions:

1. When is it determined that they have standing to move forward with this? Or is the fact that they were granted a court date mean that it has already been assumed or decided that they have standing?

2. This feels like harassment by litigation. They are trying to intimidate us and control us - my husband's step-father is all about control. He has always been a bully (a bully with money). Our concern is our son's well-being. Their only concern is "winning." Are there resources / support groups for parents being out through this sort of thing?

Standing for your husband's mother may very well be granted. However, if argued properly you can get your husband's stepfather removed from the petition. However standing to sue is not a guarantee that they will win. You are an intact family and united in your desire that stepgrandpa not have access to your child.

You need to file a response and in your response you must ask that stepgrandpa be removed from the petition as he does not have standing to sue for visitation rights. Then in the same response you need to list the reasons why grandma should not be granted standing to sue, which should include the fact that you are an intact family, that she already has access to the child, and the fact that if she had unsupervised visitation she would give access to her husband, and then list all of the reasons why her husband should not have access to the child.

You need to argue hard in court, against grandma being given any temporary visitation rights while the case is pending. You need to argue that it would be a violation of your right to due process. If you hire an attorney (and you probably should) you need to hire one that has experience with defending parents in gpv cases, and who will not push you to "settle" or make any kind of agreement in mediation.

Unfortunately NY is probably the most grandparent friendly state in the country, but I know of parents who have won their cases there.

 

[single317dad]

Standing for your husband's mother may very well be granted. However, if argued properly you can get your husband's stepfather removed from the petition. However standing to sue is not a guarantee that they will win. You are an intact family and united in your desire that stepgrandpa not have access to your child.

You need to file a response and in your response you must ask that stepgrandpa be removed from the petition as he does not have standing to sue for visitation rights. Then in the same response you need to list the reasons why grandma should not be granted standing to sue, which should include the fact that you are an intact family, that she already has access to the child, and the fact that if she had unsupervised visitation she would give access to her husband, and then list all of the reasons why her husband should not have access to the child.

You need to argue hard in court, against grandma being given any temporary visitation rights while the case is pending. You need to argue that it would be a violation of your right to due process. If you hire an attorney (and you probably should) you need to hire one that has experience with defending parents in gpv cases, and who will not push you to "settle" or make any kind of agreement in mediation.

Unfortunately NY is probably the most grandparent friendly state in the country, but I know of parents who have won their cases there.

I'd start with a motion to dismiss due to lack of standing. If that failed, then I'd do the above. Stepgrandpa is not a grandparent, therefore no GPV.

What is the "extraordinary circumstance" or "conditions which equity would see fit to intervene" named in the complaint? If there really is something out of the norm going on, it would be best to own up to it now so you can get assistance. If there is absolutely nothing abnormal (e.g. their complaint can be proven bogus), then I wouldn't be too concerned.

This will make Thanksgiving awkward, at the least.

 

[Songwriter]

Thank you all so much. I am hesitant to provide too many specific details online (should they be found and twisted somehow), but no, we never once lived with them.

Rushia, I am so sorry you went through this. I can not see how it is in the best interests of a child to put fit parents through this. I am heading to work, but will PM you when I return - thanks so much.

Ldj - We will certainly hire an attorney. I am meeting with one this week. I am glad to hear that you have seen parents overcome this in New York - admittedly, this whole thing has me overwhelmed with "what if." We just want to protect our child.

 

[BL]

As was said , do NOT agree to any visitations ,as Judges will tell lawyers and the parties to step out and see if they can come to an agreement .

My girlfriend agreed and It became hell and took many contempt hearings to finally end it all.

Also ,even as a toddler ,the court can appoint a law guardian for the child.

Have you been summonsed for a court date/hearing ?

If you do not have an Attorney at the first hearing ,request the hearing be rescheduled to give you time to obtain one.

If your income is under the poverty level , NY court will assign an attorney at no cost to you.You may have to be screened for eligibility .

Do NOT agree to temporary visitations .

 

[LdiJ]

I'd start with a motion to dismiss due to lack of standing. If that failed, then I'd do the above. Stepgrandpa is not a grandparent, therefore no GPV.

What is the "extraordinary circumstance" or "conditions which equity would see fit to intervene" named in the complaint? If there really is something out of the norm going on, it would be best to own up to it now so you can get assistance. If there is absolutely nothing abnormal (e.g. their complaint can be proven bogus), then I wouldn't be too concerned.

This will make Thanksgiving awkward, at the least.

Unfortunately single317dad, that "extraordinary circumstance" or "conditions which equity would see fit to intervene" have been used by judges in NY as catchalls for any grandparent who would otherwise not have standing...particularly the equity one. That is why its not a slam dunk for an intact family in NY...and why OP's response needs to be a little more in depth than just a motion to dismiss.

Yes, stepgrandpa can be easily removed from the petition, but unless the OP manages to get some info in there as to why stepgrandpa should not have access to the child, then grandma is just going to be able to refile without him or get to continue without him on the petition. By using the fact that she would allow access to him, and explaining why he shouldn't have access, and the fact that she already has access, they have a greater shot at getting it dismissed entirely.