Hello,I am married to a marine,and we do not have kids yet but I was curious about something. His mom lives in Utah and she always tells me when we have kids if I don't let her see them like she wants then shell take them from me because of grandparents rights. Is that true? Oh,and me and my husband live in sc...far from Utah.... please answer this....this is kind of a reason I haven't had kids yet...
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grandma in utah have more right to my kids than i would?
- Thread starter amemiya
- Start date
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mistoffolees
Senior Member
Not likely.
Only a few states give grandparents visitation rights - and even those are generally limited to situations where the grandparents have an established relationship with the child and/or both parents are unfit.
Just don't get into a situation where grandma is the primary caregiver (such as using her as a babysitter on a regular basis) and you should be OK.
Only a few states give grandparents visitation rights - and even those are generally limited to situations where the grandparents have an established relationship with the child and/or both parents are unfit.
Just don't get into a situation where grandma is the primary caregiver (such as using her as a babysitter on a regular basis) and you should be OK.
And it may be a great opportunity to remind grandma that if she doesn't change her attitude that you will prevent ALL contact with future children.
I don't respond well when people threaten taking my children away. I immediately declare them a toxic influence in my life and remove them.
I don't respond well when people threaten taking my children away. I immediately declare them a toxic influence in my life and remove them.
Ya I know I will definitely let her know where I stand on it. It's just that I'm very young and newly married so I don't know about all that so she tries to scare me into doing what she wants. Now that I know forsure she couldn't tasked my kids ill be a little more honest and might actually start trying...
liandrajade
Member
NEVER let a grandparent fool you into doing anything they want or even try to bully you. While I am all for the big happy family, in theory, its not always possible. Not ALL grandparents should be involved in the grandkids lives, some are just too toxic and have negative, horrible motives that are just plain wrong.
Stand your ground emotionally and ethically and worry about nothing but enjoying bringing a beautiful child into this world.
To be honest, a grandparent coming off as nasty and controlling like that right away....I would not allow them around my child....period.
What does your husband say to this? Does him and his mom get along, what is their relationship like and furthermore why is he letting his mother speak so negatively to his WIFE?
I would normally say walk the higher road and let her know that while she is welcome to see YOUR child, her threats are not going to be tolerated....but I have a feeling she is just going to harp on her nonsense even more and insist on BS viewpoint on the law.
Post back an update here when you get a chance.
My husband and his mom have always had a strained relationship. He ignores her calls and only talks to her when he absolutely needs to. He doesent appreciate the way his mom talks to me like that. he tells me to just ignore her. I think he knows since she's so far away there wont be many opportunities for us to visit her that much. She's never really liked me since I'm a couple years younger than her son and we were dating so young. I've always tried respecting her and being nice to her. But I have been worried about my kids being around her and her talking crap. It's bad,but this really is one of the reasons I've waited on kids. I didn't want to have any problems before I really knew the truth about this stuff.
liandrajade
Member
Also to put your mind at ease, here is the statutes from the SC Domestic Relations Code:
33) to order periods of visitation for the grandparents of a minor child where either or both parents of the minor child is or are deceased, or are divorced, or are living separate and apart in different habitats regardless of the existence of a court order or agreement, and upon a written finding that the visitation rights would be in the best interests of the child and would not interfere with the parent/child relationship. In determining whether to order visitation for the grandparents, the court shall consider the nature of the relationship between the child and his grandparents prior to the filing of the petition or complaint
The bolded and underlined is very important. Your father's mother has blatantly made threats to interfere with your relationship with your child by trying to use the Law to scare you and intimidate you into letting her the children. THAT is wrong and can be brought that the petitioner has made threats in order to make you accede to her wishes.
Think of it this way, from a legal standpoint, the grandmother has to file for visitation and/or custody in YOUR home state where the children reside. Is grandma going to waste time and money to do that? Even if she does, she will have to show such a huge burden of proof, its almost pathetic if she does try.
From a legal standpoint I would not think you have much to worry about but from a personal one, I can see where you are going to be aggravated.
33) to order periods of visitation for the grandparents of a minor child where either or both parents of the minor child is or are deceased, or are divorced, or are living separate and apart in different habitats regardless of the existence of a court order or agreement, and upon a written finding that the visitation rights would be in the best interests of the child and would not interfere with the parent/child relationship. In determining whether to order visitation for the grandparents, the court shall consider the nature of the relationship between the child and his grandparents prior to the filing of the petition or complaint
The bolded and underlined is very important. Your father's mother has blatantly made threats to interfere with your relationship with your child by trying to use the Law to scare you and intimidate you into letting her the children. THAT is wrong and can be brought that the petitioner has made threats in order to make you accede to her wishes.
Think of it this way, from a legal standpoint, the grandmother has to file for visitation and/or custody in YOUR home state where the children reside. Is grandma going to waste time and money to do that? Even if she does, she will have to show such a huge burden of proof, its almost pathetic if she does try.
From a legal standpoint I would not think you have much to worry about but from a personal one, I can see where you are going to be aggravated.
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liandrajade
Member
Ugh, Im sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm glad you are trying to be the better person, never give in to the drama and never let them get to you. Be respectful and the better person.
I'd suggest this... If grandma wants to be around, then let HER come to YOU. Do not go to her, do not cater to her whims not one second.
How often does she visit?
Oh and DO NOT worry! You have the law on your side, go enjoy making some kiddos
{ps-I was a sucker for a guy in uniform too, mine is a police officer}
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TheGeekess
Keeper of the Kraken
So, when you decide to have children, you don't have to worry about it.
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