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  1. #1
    grannynuge is offline Junior Member
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    Grandma Wants Visitation With Only Grandchild

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY
    I am a new grandmother, my only daughter having given birth on August 7, 2009. My daughter and I had a "falling out" a little over a year ago and our relationship has been strained. Communication between the two of us has mainly been thru texting. Since the birth of her daughter, we have had no communication. In fact, on the day baby Leah was born, her older brother, my oldest son, called me with the news. I would love to have a relationship with my daughter and grandchild however that doesn't look likely to happen. If my daughter and I can't work things out, that's fine but I do want to have visitation with my only grandchild. What is involved in pursuing grandparent visitation? My daughter has told other people that she doesn't want me around the baby because "she's afraid I will hurt her". This statement is absolutely ridiculous! I am willing to be drug-tested, have social services visit my home or whatever is necessary. I don't worry for the safety of my granddaughter with her parents because I know they are good parents but I want to see my granddaughter. What can I do? Or should I just sit back and wait to see if my daughter will "come around"?
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by grannynuge View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY
    I am a new grandmother, my only daughter having given birth on August 7, 2009. My daughter and I had a "falling out" a little over a year ago and our relationship has been strained. Communication between the two of us has mainly been thru texting. Since the birth of her daughter, we have had no communication. In fact, on the day baby Leah was born, her older brother, my oldest son, called me with the news. I would love to have a relationship with my daughter and grandchild however that doesn't look likely to happen. If my daughter and I can't work things out, that's fine but I do want to have visitation with my only grandchild. What is involved in pursuing grandparent visitation? My daughter has told other people that she doesn't want me around the baby because "she's afraid I will hurt her". This statement is absolutely ridiculous! I am willing to be drug-tested, have social services visit my home or whatever is necessary. I don't worry for the safety of my granddaughter with her parents because I know they are good parents but I want to see my granddaughter. What can I do? Or should I just sit back and wait to see if my daughter will "come around"?
    While you might have standard to get visitation, that doesn't mean you have a prayer of getting it. Your daughter can prohibit you from seeing HER child all she wants. Your hope of having a relationship with her grandchild hinges on you respecting and having a good relationship with your daughter.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by grannynuge View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? KY
    I am a new grandmother, my only daughter having given birth on August 7, 2009. My daughter and I had a "falling out" a little over a year ago and our relationship has been strained. Communication between the two of us has mainly been thru texting. Since the birth of her daughter, we have had no communication. In fact, on the day baby Leah was born, her older brother, my oldest son, called me with the news. I would love to have a relationship with my daughter and grandchild however that doesn't look likely to happen. If my daughter and I can't work things out, that's fine but I do want to have visitation with my only grandchild. What is involved in pursuing grandparent visitation? My daughter has told other people that she doesn't want me around the baby because "she's afraid I will hurt her". This statement is absolutely ridiculous! I am willing to be drug-tested, have social services visit my home or whatever is necessary. I don't worry for the safety of my granddaughter with her parents because I know they are good parents but I want to see my granddaughter. What can I do? Or should I just sit back and wait to see if my daughter will "come around"?
    If both parents are opposed to you having visitation you have no hope of winning a visitation suit. You have no pre-existing relationship with the child, therefore the child cannot be harmed without visitation with you.

    In addition, if you file for visitation you will permanently destroy any hope of reconciliation with your daughter.
  4. #4
    commentator is offline Senior Member
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    Thus begins the famous game "Grandchild Hostage." It is played by mothers and daughters all over the world. It is important for the grandmother to realize that unless the daughter cooperates, she really has no legal recourse. Then comes the adjustment of the relationship.
  5. #5
    prumbley is offline Junior Member
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    Unfortunate

    This situation is very unfortunate but grandparents have no rights. You are going to have to reconcile with the parents if you ever want to see your grandchild.
  6. #6
    latigo is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by prumbley View Post
    This situation is very unfortunate but grandparents have no rights. You are going to have to reconcile with the parents if you ever want to see your grandchild.
    Yes it is most unfortunate that grandparents have no legal recourse when visitation or access to their grandchildren is denied by the parents.

    And we have five of the nine Justices of the United States Supreme Court to thank for it.

    Chief Justice William Rehnquist, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (three grandchildren) Justice Ruth Baker Ginsburg, Justice Stephen Bryer and Justice Clarence Thomas.

    Five out of 281,421,906 citizens of the United States.

    That came about in the controversial case of Troxel vs. Granville, 530 U. S. 57 (June 5, 2000)
  7. #7
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    Yes it is most unfortunate that grandparents have no legal recourse when visitation or access to their grandchildren is denied by the parents.

    And we have five of the nine Justices of the United States Supreme Court to thank for it.

    Chief Justice William Rehnquist, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (three grandchildren) Justice Ruth Baker Ginsburg, Justice Stephen Bryer and Justice Clarence Thomas.

    Five out of 281,421,906 citizens of the United States.

    That came about in the controversial case of Troxel vs. Granville, 530 U. S. 57 (June 5, 2000)

    OOoO i'm starting to dislike clarence thomas just a little less.
  8. #8
    LdiJ is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    Yes it is most unfortunate that grandparents have no legal recourse when visitation or access to their grandchildren is denied by the parents.

    And we have five of the nine Justices of the United States Supreme Court to thank for it.

    Chief Justice William Rehnquist, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (three grandchildren) Justice Ruth Baker Ginsburg, Justice Stephen Bryer and Justice Clarence Thomas.

    Five out of 281,421,906 citizens of the United States.

    That came about in the controversial case of Troxel vs. Granville, 530 U. S. 57 (June 5, 2000)
    And prior to that it was very unfortunate that parents had no recourse to decide with whom their children should have contact...contrary to their constitutional rights.

    You know absolutely nothing about the grandmother who posted here and why she had a falling out with her daughter. Since she admitted that her daughter and the father are/will be good parents, clearly it was something personal...and grandma probably knows what she needs to do to reconcile with her daughter.
  9. #9
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LdiJ View Post
    And prior to that it was very unfortunate that parents had no recourse to decide with whom their children should have contact...contrary to their constitutional rights.

    You know absolutely nothing about the grandmother who posted here and why she had a falling out with her daughter. Since she admitted that her daughter and the father are/will be good parents, clearly it was something personal...and grandma probably knows what she needs to do to reconcile with her daughter.
    I agree with LD on this -- it is unfortunate that FIT parents who did not pose a danger to their children were at the whims of the courts and had to possibly allow their children around anyone who sued. Fit, safe parents have a right to make decisions regarding their children -- ALL fit, safe parents.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  10. #10
    Rushia is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    Yes it is most unfortunate that grandparents have no legal recourse when visitation or access to their grandchildren is denied by the parents.

    And we have five of the nine Justices of the United States Supreme Court to thank for it.

    Chief Justice William Rehnquist, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (three grandchildren) Justice Ruth Baker Ginsburg, Justice Stephen Bryer and Justice Clarence Thomas.

    Five out of 281,421,906 citizens of the United States.

    That came about in the controversial case of Troxel vs. Granville, 530 U. S. 57 (June 5, 2000)
    I'll be adding their names to my prayers tonight.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    I agree with LD on this -- it is unfortunate that FIT parents who did not pose a danger to their children were at the whims of the courts and had to possibly allow their children around anyone who sued. Fit, safe parents have a right to make decisions regarding their children -- ALL fit, safe parents.

    Yes we should, we should also get to determine HOW LONG those visits should be, but because of loopholes some of us have to suffer.
  11. #11
    liandrajade is offline Member
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    okay im going to have to chime in here and put in my 2 angry cents. I am one of those fit parents getting SUED for custody and visitation by the so called "loving grandmother", the same "caring, loving grandparent" who I had to get the help of the police to go get my child from her house.

    yes...if you are a horrible excuse of a parent then yes the courts need to intercede on the childrens behalf to give them a chance at a happy decent life....

    BUT...if you are a woman like me whose own mother went so far as to LIE to CPS to try to get custody and visitation over my wishes, myself as the parent has EVERY right to be infuriated and deny visitation. It still boggles my mind the nonsense I am having to go through because of my child's grandmother. It is to the point where I refuse to even acknowledge that woman AS my mother.

    Take it from me, the former daughter on the other side of the situation, do NOT get on your daughter's wrong side and take this to court, if you lose not only are you losing your chance to watch your grandchild grow up, you will lose your daughter too. I can tell you in no uncertainty I have nothing but total disgust and I cannot trust NO ONE from that side of the family.

    Now no one is perfect, Im sure your daughter has her own faults but heed everyone's advice, try to talk to her, see if you can rationalize with her. If you try to strong arm the situation it may not work out for you..
  12. #12
    Hisbabygirl77 is offline Senior Member
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    Im sorry but in normal situations with fit parents I agree with some posters on here that the courts shouldnt have the right to force a parent to make THEIR child see someone. It is still America and we are still free last time I checked.

    I would like to point out something as well.....It seems fishy to me that the poster would say that she even agreed to take drug tests ect.....umm my mom is a grandma and not once would she ever even think about the need for a drug test to prove her fitness because well drugs have never been a thought in her head. I think the poster gave us some insight in that comment alone as to why the mom may be denying visits. Has drugs ever been a problem for this grandma?
  13. #13
    latigo is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by liandrajade View Post
    okay im going to have to chime in here and put in my 2 angry cents. I am one of those fit parents getting SUED for custody and visitation by the so called "loving grandmother",
    What is there about the statements in this thread from professionals that grandparents have no standing to sue for access to their grandchildren when that access is denied by the parents that neither you nor your so-called attorney seem to understand?

    Its been over 9 years since the decision in Troxel vs. Granville was issued. Isn't it about time your attorney took the time to read it?!
  14. #14
    Rushia is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    What is there about the statements in this thread from professionals that grandparents have no standing to sue for access to their grandchildren when that access is denied by the parents that neither you nor your so-called attorney seem to understand?

    Its been over 9 years since the decision in Troxel vs. Granville was issued. Isn't it about time your attorney took the time to read it?!
    The problem is that the state statutes are still hiding under that "best interest" clause. In states like NY and PA, Troxel means next to nothing.
  15. #15
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by latigo View Post
    What is there about the statements in this thread from professionals that grandparents have no standing to sue for access to their grandchildren when that access is denied by the parents that neither you nor your so-called attorney seem to understand?

    Its been over 9 years since the decision in Troxel vs. Granville was issued. Isn't it about time your attorney took the time to read it?!
    Grandparents do have standing to sue in many states. Troxel did not state that grandparents should not have that right. It stated that FIT parents wishes must be given extreme weight and that if a parent is not fit or causes harm or is detrimental in some way, then a best interest evaluation should be done.

    Why haven't YOU read it?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.

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