Grandmother coming to child's school uninvited

[catsmouse]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My ex husband's mother is bipolar and under or unmedicated. He and I have included in our custody agreement that his mother is not to be around our child without him continously present. Also included is that she is not allowed to be at our child's school or any of her activitites without written consent from both of us. She has knowledge of this agreement. The school does not, as of yet.
Today, without our consent or knowledge, she went to our child's school. I believe her intent was to see our child with whom she's had no contact (due to her inappropriate and aggressive behavior) over the past 4+ months. She left before she saw our child but mentioned to a school employee that she would like to volunteer in some manner.
My question is, can the school deny her application to volunteer based on our custody agreement? Also, is her going to our child's school without our knowledge or permission something I can use to prevent further contact?

Thank you

 

[justalayman]

your custody agreement is not enforceable on your mother in law nor the school.

If you believe you have a valid basis for a restraining order so your mother in law cannot contact your child or attend the child's school, go to court and seek one.

 

[catsmouse]

Thank you for responding.
Would a valid reason be that neither parent wants her to contact the child and she still attempts to through phone (blocked but the number and attempt, if not the message, still come through), sending cards and letters in the mail and going to her school? Would we need more?

 

[justalayman]

support that there is reason to believe she would be a danger to your child is what it would take.


think of it this way: if you believe that if not for your child going to that school your MIL should be allowed to work at that school if she so desires, then she is not a danger to your child either.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My ex husband's mother is bipolar and under or unmedicated. He and I have included in our custody agreement that his mother is not to be around our child without him continously present. Also included is that she is not allowed to be at our child's school or any of her activitites without written consent from both of us. She has knowledge of this agreement. The school does not, as of yet.
Today, without our consent or knowledge, she went to our child's school. I believe her intent was to see our child with whom she's had no contact (due to her inappropriate and aggressive behavior) over the past 4+ months. She left before she saw our child but mentioned to a school employee that she would like to volunteer in some manner.
My question is, can the school deny her application to volunteer based on our custody agreement? Also, is her going to our child's school without our knowledge or permission something I can use to prevent further contact?

Thank you

http://www.sheriff.org/safety/restrainingorders.cfm
http://www.duvalclerk.com/ccWebsite/DomesticViolence.department
http://www.pinellasclerk.org/aspinclude2/ASPInclude.asp?pageName=domestic.htm
http://www.leg.state.fl.us/statutes/index.cfm?App_mode=Display_Statute&URL=0700-0799/0741/Sections/0741.30.html

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My ex husband's mother is bipolar and under or unmedicated. He and I have included in our custody agreement that his mother is not to be around our child without him continously present. Also included is that she is not allowed to be at our child's school or any of her activitites without written consent from both of us. She has knowledge of this agreement. The school does not, as of yet.
Today, without our consent or knowledge, she went to our child's school. I believe her intent was to see our child with whom she's had no contact (due to her inappropriate and aggressive behavior) over the past 4+ months. She left before she saw our child but mentioned to a school employee that she would like to volunteer in some manner.
My question is, can the school deny her application to volunteer based on our custody agreement? Also, is her going to our child's school without our knowledge or permission something I can use to prevent further contact?

Thank you

If you AND dad specifically instruct the school that grandma is to have no access to your child...then they cannot allow access.

 

[Ohiogal]

If you AND dad specifically instruct the school that grandma is to have no access to your child...then they cannot allow access.

Actually that is NOT QUITE true. They shouldn't allow access HOWEVER they are not bound by law not to allow access by way of preventing grandma from working there. They can't allow grandma to REMOVE the child if the parents say no but she could still be allowed to be a room volunteer or something of that nature. Without a court order that is binding upon the school that is an issue.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

My ex husband's mother is bipolar and under or unmedicated. He and I have included in our custody agreement that his mother is not to be around our child without him continously present. Also included is that she is not allowed to be at our child's school or any of her activitites without written consent from both of us.

That is binding upon you and dad -- neither of you is to allow grandma around the children unless those things are done. It does NOT bind grandma. Or anyone else.

She has knowledge of this agreement. The school does not, as of yet.

Neither of those parties are bound by your agreement.

Today, without our consent or knowledge, she went to our child's school. I believe her intent was to see our child with whom she's had no contact (due to her inappropriate and aggressive behavior) over the past 4+ months. She left before she saw our child but mentioned to a school employee that she would like to volunteer in some manner.

Okay.

My question is, can the school deny her application to volunteer based on our custody agreement?

They can, but they don't have to do so.

Also, is her going to our child's school without our knowledge or permission something I can use to prevent further contact?

Thank you

You would need to prove she is a danger to the children. If you can't prove she is a danger, you won't be able to prevent anything. And what FURTHER contact? She had no contact with the child.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually that is NOT QUITE true. They shouldn't allow access HOWEVER they are not bound by law not to allow access by way of preventing grandma from working there. They can't allow grandma to REMOVE the child if the parents say no but she could still be allowed to be a room volunteer or something of that nature. Without a court order that is binding upon the school that is an issue.

I guess it depends on the policy of the school district. When I was PTA president for my daughter's elementary school (which of course was quite a few years ago) if there was a grandparent that the parents said was not to have access, the school asked for a picture of the grandparent and posted it in the school office, on a special spot behind the counter (where it couldn't be seen by non-staff) and that grandparent was never permitted into the school proper, ever.

 

[justalayman]

I guess it depends on the policy of the school district. When I was PTA president for my daughter's elementary school (which of course was quite a few years ago) if there was a grandparent that the parents said was not to have access, the school asked for a picture of the grandparent and posted it in the school office, on a special spot behind the counter (where it couldn't be seen by non-staff) and that grandparent was never permitted into the school proper, ever.

can do versus must do



the school can do a lot of things

they are not legally required to do what you stated although they can do it by choice unless there is a courts order demanding it.

 

[Ohiogal]

can do versus must do



the school can do a lot of things

they are not legally required to do what you stated although they can do it by choice unless there is a courts order demanding it.

And that would be a RESTRAINING order. Not a custody order.

 

[csi7]

Grandmother has to attend a volunteer orientation class, get a background check completed, and then be approved for volunteering. It's not a fast process.

Rather than battling over this with the public agency without firm facts in hand, you'd be better off learning the volunteer application process for your school system, how the visitor policy is managed, and open a positive pro-action communication with the school first. In some places, the official policy says one thing, the unofficial and actual policy used is much stricter and enforced legally. We have grandparents who do wonderful volunteering with the children, and everyone benefits from this supervised and controlled visit setting, as it eliminates the sensitivity between grandparent and parent. It works, because the whole system benefits from the positive volunteering.

 

[Ohiogal]

Grandmother has to attend a volunteer orientation class, get a background check completed, and then be approved for volunteering. It's not a fast process.

Rather than battling over this with the public agency without firm facts in hand, you'd be better off learning the volunteer application process for your school system, how the visitor policy is managed, and open a positive pro-action communication with the school first. In some places, the official policy says one thing, the unofficial and actual policy used is much stricter and enforced legally. We have grandparents who do wonderful volunteering with the children, and everyone benefits from this supervised and controlled visit setting, as it eliminates the sensitivity between grandparent and parent. It works, because the whole system benefits from the positive volunteering.

Not arguing with you but are you sure grandma has to attend a volunteer orientation class? Have a background check? Go through ANYTHING let alone that to volunteer?
I know in some places nothing is needed to volunteer except a willingness.

 

[Silverplum]

Not arguing with you but are you sure grandma has to attend a volunteer orientation class? Have a background check? Go through ANYTHING let alone that to volunteer?
I know in some places nothing is needed to volunteer except a willingness.

Particularly in private schools.

 

[LdiJ]

Not arguing with you but are you sure grandma has to attend a volunteer orientation class? Have a background check? Go through ANYTHING let alone that to volunteer?
I know in some places nothing is needed to volunteer except a willingness.

Unless something has changed recently no one has to go through any of that in our school district.