Grandmother finally crossed "the line".

[mabrown1994]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
For the entirety of my son's life (15yrs) my ex-in-laws have interferred repeatedly. (1 EXAMPLE: my marriage was terrible, my husband (their son) was abusive in every way. At one point my ex-in-laws, mostly ex-mother-in-law, sat me down at her kitchen table & informed me that if I did not remove their grandson from the "condition" he was living in, they were taking me to court for custody. At that time, I was your classic "battered wife", afraid to stay & more afraid to leave. After considering this threat, I chose to pack up and take my son out of the situation. I then got a phone call from my ex-mother-in-law, telling me how childish I was being and that I shouldn't have left, rather I should have stayed and worked out my marriage.)! I have tolerated/overlooked their "quirks" because I strongly feel that family is important. I believe they have a right to know their grandson. I believe my son has a right to know his grandparents. My son is a typical teenager; he pouts and whines when he doesn't get his way or things didn't go his way. He was whining to his grandma... She tells him that she called and spoke to a lawyer and that when he turns 14 she can hire a lawyer for my son and they can make it so he can live with them. My son never told me that she had said this to him. My ex-mother-in-law invited me & my son to their annual block party. She started the conversation by saying to me "I hope you are not mad at me, but..." she informed me of what she had told my son about hiring a lawyer for him. Since that I time I have limited my son time with them. I am careful to schedule his visits when I know that his Aunt will also be present. So of course now, I am being threatened they are taking me to court for Grandparent's Rights... ???

[IsabellaSoriano]

Originally Posted by mabrown1994

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
For the entirety of my son's life (15yrs) my ex-in-laws have interferred repeatedly. (1 EXAMPLE: my marriage was terrible, my husband (their son) was abusive in every way. At one point my ex-in-laws, mostly ex-mother-in-law, sat me down at her kitchen table & informed me that if I did not remove their grandson from the "condition" he was living in, they were taking me to court for custody. At that time, I was your classic "battered wife", afraid to stay & more afraid to leave. After considering this threat, I chose to pack up and take my son out of the situation. I then got a phone call from my ex-mother-in-law, telling me how childish I was being and that I shouldn't have left, rather I should have stayed and worked out my marriage.)! I have tolerated/overlooked their "quirks" because I strongly feel that family is important. I believe they have a right to know their grandson. I believe my son has a right to know his grandparents. My son is a typical teenager; he pouts and whines when he doesn't get his way or things didn't go his way. He was whining to his grandma... She tells him that she called and spoke to a lawyer and that when he turns 14 she can hire a lawyer for my son and they can make it so he can live with them. My son never told me that she had said this to him. My ex-mother-in-law invited me & my son to their annual block party. She started the conversation by saying to me "I hope you are not mad at me, but..." she informed me of what she had told my son about hiring a lawyer for him. Since that I time I have limited my son time with them. I am careful to schedule his visits when I know that his Aunt will also be present. So of course now, I am being threatened they are taking me to court for Grandparent's Rights... ???

tell them to kiss your....oh wait....

no, they will not get custody. unless you AND dad die.

[Rushia]

A child can choose where they live when they turn 18. Gramma lied to you and to him. Gramma is not going to get custody of your son unless she can prove you and her son to be unfit.

If she files a visitation suit, she MIGHT get something (I haven't looked up your states statutes). Agree to NOTHING. You cannot appeal something you've agreed to.

[mabrown1994]

What are "Grandparent's Rights" anyway? When I was a child it was you'll see your grandparents when I get around to taking you, if I get around to taking you and that's that... Their was no "time share". But these days U are hearing more and more about "grandparent's rights".

My opinion... They raised their children. If they aren't happy with the job they did, tough, not my problem. MY child is not an opportunity to redeem yourself!

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by mabrown1994

What are "Grandparent's Rights" anyway? When I was a child it was you'll see your grandparents when I get around to taking you, if I get around to taking you and that's that... Their was no "time share". But these days U are hearing more and more about "grandparent's rights".

My opinion... They raised their children. If they aren't happy with the job they did, tough, not my problem. MY child is not an opportunity to redeem yourself!

Precisely.

[BL]

Originally Posted by mabrown1994

What are "Grandparent's Rights" anyway? When I was a child it was you'll see your grandparents when I get around to taking you, if I get around to taking you and that's that... Their was no "time share". But these days U are hearing more and more about "grandparent's rights".

My opinion... They raised their children. If they aren't happy with the job they did, tough, not my problem. MY child is not an opportunity to redeem yourself!

Interesting reading:

[url=http://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/expert-advice/legal/article/dograndparentshavetherightstheyshould.html]Grandparents Rights and Grandparent Visitation Rights[/url]

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by BL

Interesting reading:

[url=http://www.grandparents.com/gp/content/expert-advice/legal/article/dograndparentshavetherightstheyshould.html]Grandparents Rights and Grandparent Visitation Rights[/url]

That was a terrible article, with a huge amount of inaccuracies.

He didn't even get the background info correct on the Troxel case.

[BL]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

That was a terrible article, with a huge amount of inaccuracies.

He didn't even get the background info correct on the Troxel case.

I imagine , but I wanted to sort of answer the question posed , What are grandmother's rights anyways ?

[lkdhope]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

That was a terrible article, with a huge amount of inaccuracies.

He didn't even get the background info correct on the Troxel case.

I agree this is a horrendous article and very much the same of so many others published on various grandparent web sites where court action is advocated.

quote from article: "Families crumble for any number of reasons: divorce, the death of a parent, drug and alcohol abuse, incarceration. Grandparents in the U.S. do have rights and can seek visitation with grandchildren, but those rights vary from state to state. Understanding your basic rights can help ensure that your relationship with the grandchildren doesn't end should that with their parents. Of course, every case involves a unique set of facts and grandparents who find themselves suddenly cut off from grandchildren should consult a lawyer to discuss the course of action their specific situations require."

Articles and web sites such as this one promote legal action and encourage the false sense of entitlement third parties feel they have over a child(ren) that are not their own. Very rarely do you see publications advising gp's of what there role is/should be and how to promote healthy familial relationships.


BL: no bashing intended whatsoever in ref. to your posting the article to try and answer OP's question as to what grandparents rights are.

[lkdhope]

Originally Posted by mabrown1994

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois
For the entirety of my son's life (15yrs) my ex-in-laws have interferred repeatedly. (1 EXAMPLE: my marriage was terrible, my husband (their son) was abusive in every way. At one point my ex-in-laws, mostly ex-mother-in-law, sat me down at her kitchen table & informed me that if I did not remove their grandson from the "condition" he was living in, they were taking me to court for custody. At that time, I was your classic "battered wife", afraid to stay & more afraid to leave. After considering this threat, I chose to pack up and take my son out of the situation. I then got a phone call from my ex-mother-in-law, telling me how childish I was being and that I shouldn't have left, rather I should have stayed and worked out my marriage.)! I have tolerated/overlooked their "quirks" because I strongly feel that family is important. I believe they have a right to know their grandson. I believe my son has a right to know his grandparents. My son is a typical teenager; he pouts and whines when he doesn't get his way or things didn't go his way. He was whining to his grandma... She tells him that she called and spoke to a lawyer and that when he turns 14 she can hire a lawyer for my son and they can make it so he can live with them. My son never told me that she had said this to him. My ex-mother-in-law invited me & my son to their annual block party. She started the conversation by saying to me "I hope you are not mad at me, but..." she informed me of what she had told my son about hiring a lawyer for him. Since that I time I have limited my son time with them. I am careful to schedule his visits when I know that his Aunt will also be present. So of course now, I am being threatened they are taking me to court for Grandparent's Rights... ???

Grandma is threatening to take you to court for "grandparents rights"...
Grandparents and in some states, other third parties are given rights to seek visitation rights. No third party has any inherit rights to a child that is not their own. GM may have standing to petition for visitation, but just as the others have said, gm has no chance at custody unless you and dad die or are both deemed unfit.

Did you and dad divorce or are you legally separated and is there any court order surrounding your son in so far as custody/visitation between you and dad?

Is dad still in the picture and if so, what are his thoughts to all of this?

How often does your son visit with gm?

If you have not already done so, begin a journal to document all incidents, events, phone calls and/or anything else.

Do not talk to your son about what gm is threatening. He can voluntarily provide you with info., but do not initiate any conversations with him outside of the norm.... Do not speak negatively about gm to your son or in front of your son. If she does pursue court action, this could be used against you. Your child is certainly old enough for an in-camera interview or the like with the presiding court official. It's been awhile since I have visited your states laws re: gpv, so I am being vague. From what I recall Illinois is somewhat parent friendly when it comes to these sorts of legalities, but I will have to revisit the statutes to refresh myself. Be careful as to how you converse with gm, always be mindful of your words and never engage in any disputes. Anything and everything can be distorted and used against you. Keep all voicemail messages from gm and emails. If you do get summoned to court, more than likely you will have to attend some sort of mediation or dispute resolution first. This is where a professional mediator will try to get both parties to come to some sort of an agreement to avoid a trial. NEVER, NEVER agree to anything in mediation. A mediated agreement is not appealable and you will be stuck w/a binding legal order to uphold this agreement. Let your case go to trial for a judge to decide. A judge's order can be appealed. Hopefully, granny is just blowing smoke up your backside. These cases can go on for years and costs tens of thousands of dollars. Good Luck and please answer the questions above.