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grandparent rights

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Proserpina

Senior Member
Well, it sounds to me like Dad is completely ignorant of his rights and whomever has the child has the father's consent (for now). Unless he doesn't know where the child is, or who she's with. Honestly, I'm not so sure Dad wants the child if he's putting up with this bull****. Maybe he thinks that piece of paper actually means something. Once he finds out otherwise, everyone will be in for a very rude awakening.

If they're purposefully keeping the child from him? You're dang right, he could, and should "charge". He should charge right through that front door and get his kid with hardly a fare-thee-well.

In any case, we have a bunch of people playing keep-away with a five year old little girl. Appalling.
To be perfectly honest I wasn't sure I was reading the post correctly. This is exactly why courts are somewhat reluctant to give grandparents visitation rights.

(and I'm not convinced we aren't being trolled. Actually I think I'd prefer that - at least if we're being lied to we can be thankful that this actually hasn't happened, because the alternative is just horrible)
 


Isis1

Senior Member
To be perfectly honest I wasn't sure I was reading the post correctly. This is exactly why courts are somewhat reluctant to give grandparents visitation rights.

(and I'm not convinced we aren't being trolled. Actually I think I'd prefer that - at least if we're being lied to we can be thankful that this actually hasn't happened, because the alternative is just horrible)
did i read this correctly?? dad DIDN'T get his child? the police actually bought the paperwork?:eek::eek:
 

Isis1

Senior Member
I read it as Dad tried to get the child but Grandmother had the notarized paper and prevented him - it appears that Dad didn't realize that it meant absolutely nothing.
it's times like these i really wish we knew who dad was so he can be contacted.
 

sheila4950

Junior Member
good discussions

you are all asking great questions. but, the father had visitation rights and never kept them for 4 years. the father and deceased mother were still married. there was a problem and he had to go to anger management counseling over issues with the baby so his rights were limited at best.

i appreciate everyone's opinions but my original question still has to do with rights for the father of the deceased daughter and his visitation rights of the 5-years old granddaughter from his ex-wife grandmother.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
you are all asking great questions. but, the father had visitation rights and never kept them for 4 years. the father and deceased mother were still married. there was a problem and he had to go to anger management counseling over issues with the baby so his rights were limited at best.

i appreciate everyone's opinions but my original question still has to do with rights for the father of the deceased daughter and his visitation rights of the 5-years old granddaughter from his ex-wife grandmother.
AND? this is HIS child. NOT yours and not granny's. YOU have NO RIGHTS. And if dad ever gets an attorney nor will your husband and the other grandmother. You are ALL pathetic excuses of humanity.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
you are all asking great questions. but, the father had visitation rights and never kept them for 4 years. the father and deceased mother were still married. there was a problem and he had to go to anger management counseling over issues with the baby so his rights were limited at best.

i appreciate everyone's opinions but my original question still has to do with rights for the father of the deceased daughter and his visitation rights of the 5-years old granddaughter from his ex-wife grandmother.
legally, you, and everyone else NOT the father have none. only dad does. regardless of how many times he has seen his own child. it's still HIS child only.

anyone interfering with his rights can be and SHOULD be criminally charged.
 

>Charlotte<

Lurker
i appreciate everyone's opinions but my original question still has to do with rights for the father of the deceased daughter and his visitation rights of the 5-years old granddaughter from his ex-wife grandmother.
Wait a minute, his ex-wife's grandmother? This is just getting more confusing. Let's get this straight. Please confirm the following:

Of the child in question, the maternal grandparents are your husband and his ex-wife.

Before she died, the mother signed some piece of paper giving "custody" to her mother. Since then, her mother (your husband's ex) has had the child and is denying contact to your husband, the paternal grandparents, and the child's father.

Throughout all this, the one thing you, your husband, and his ex agree upon is that you want to keep the child away from her father.

The father showed up at the grandmother's house with the police and, for whatever reason, failed in his attempt to retrieve his child. You think that's because the grandmother has a notarized paper from the deceased mother.

Is that right?

To answer your question, nobody has any real rights except the child's father. He should be pursuing a court order to have that child returned to his custody immediately.

If your husband or the paternal grandparents try to take some kind of legal action to compel the grandmother to "share" the child, the judge is going to ask where the hell the child's father is, and why you are all conspiring to keep his child away from him. If Dad wants his child, he's going to get her. Fast. If he doesn't want his child, the judge is going to decide who gets custody and he may set up a visitation schedule for everyone else. Anything the judge does will be based on his decision as to what is in the best interest of the child. He may or may not consider the deceased mother's wishes.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
you are all asking great questions. but, the father had visitation rights and never kept them for 4 years. the father and deceased mother were still married. there was a problem and he had to go to anger management counseling over issues with the baby so his rights were limited at best.

i appreciate everyone's opinions but my original question still has to do with rights for the father of the deceased daughter and his visitation rights of the 5-years old granddaughter from his ex-wife grandmother.
The only person in this entire debacle with legal rights is THE FATHER of that child.

Your husband has no rights to this child.
You have no rights to this child
You, he and I have the same rights to this child. None.

If you are genuinely doing what's best for that child, you'll do this the correct and legal way. Dad will remain custodian of his child, and you can all present your case to court and let the Judge decide. You do have the right to request visitation and even guardianship - but you categorically do not get to deprive that child of her only living parent.

Please - for the sake of the child, do the right thing. Don't make her lose her grandparents too - because I guarantee that if you force Dad into court you will probably never see that child again. Do you want that?
 

dad43

Member
OP-as a former military member i am absolutely angered by what your "family" has done!

over 4 years, of this man's military service, deployments training, and being possibly stationed FAR AWAY, and his wife lying about an illness etc.....and ya'll are upset he never contacted the wife? and how do you know he never contacted her? and anger management, does NOT bar him from his rights!

i have to throw the bs flag here. yes men go everyday without seeing their children or bothering...but of ALL the men/women i know in the service, i've never met one who didn't keep in contact with the person who had their child, especially during deployments! when that parent may not return!

i am with another member on this! i wish we could somehow alert him to this! i almost want to go to my military forum, and start looking for a man whose wife died in january, and whose ex MIL has his daughter, so that i can point him here!

oh, oh! granny's done! this man now has the ammunition to walk into court, tell a judge his wife abandoned him during a tour of duty(which not to disrespect the dead, but when a spouse leaves a member during duty, and hides it, the military FROWNS and a judge will too!)...and NOW, with her being deceased, he has the ability to learn her paper isn't worth the 1/100% of the cost of the paper it's written on and claim the child was kidnapped!

also, wether you thought you had rights or not, WHAT made you think it was suitable for this man to learn of his WIFE'S DEATH through an obit? he must have loved her at some time, and now he learns that his wife is dead, and her family is damned near stealing his daughter?

ok, i'm done ranting, i'm heading to the military forum. i'm not kidding...it can't be that hard to find him! my wife has been married to a man who was in the army, i was in the navy, and 2 of wife's bff's are marine/air force wives....i shall return....
 

lima_charlie

Junior Member
My $0.05 worth-and only because it happenned to me...

My ex lay dying in the hospital-we had a daughter together, no worries on custody (although GP was another story! read my other posts!) However, she had a son she wanted me to raise.

Social Worker at Hospital suggested notarized document-which I got expressing her desire to have me raise her son.

Fast forward to 30 days after she had passed. I had filed a case in court to obtain legal guardianship, awaiting court date. Bio-Dad, who hadn't seen his son in 2 years, showed up with the Police and a birth certificate. All I had was the notarized document.

While I tried to argue that the Birth Certificate could have anybody listed as the father, the police stated that it carried more weight than that of the notarized document; hence the child (14 years old at the time) was forced to leave with his father.

I pursued the guardianship case a few more weeks, but the son changed his mind and decided to pursue a relationship with Bio-Dad. They are all now living happily ever after, or so I assume.

To the OP-if the father truly did show up with the police, then the child goes with Dad, especially considering the fact that they were still married! While I certainly do not intend to make the child sound like a possession, as you have in your posts, that child belongs to the father-regardless of your feelings toward him, or his past behaviors.

Enjoy the time with your "step-grandchild" while you can; eventually the father will wise up, take his child, and you will be left looking at photographs.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
My $0.05 worth-and only because it happenned to me...

My ex lay dying in the hospital-we had a daughter together, no worries on custody (although GP was another story! read my other posts!) However, she had a son she wanted me to raise.

Social Worker at Hospital suggested notarized document-which I got expressing her desire to have me raise her son.

Fast forward to 30 days after she had passed. I had filed a case in court to obtain legal guardianship, awaiting court date. Bio-Dad, who hadn't seen his son in 2 years, showed up with the Police and a birth certificate. All I had was the notarized document.

While I tried to argue that the Birth Certificate could have anybody listed as the father, the police stated that it carried more weight than that of the notarized document; hence the child (14 years old at the time) was forced to leave with his father.

I pursued the guardianship case a few more weeks, but the son changed his mind and decided to pursue a relationship with Bio-Dad. They are all now living happily ever after, or so I assume.

To the OP-if the father truly did show up with the police, then the child goes with Dad, especially considering the fact that they were still married! While I certainly do not intend to make the child sound like a possession, as you have in your posts, that child belongs to the father-regardless of your feelings toward him, or his past behaviors.

Enjoy the time with your "step-grandchild" while you can; eventually the father will wise up, take his child, and you will be left looking at photographs.
Unfortunately this is a prime example of why those notarized agreements very often (most of the time, actually) end up being not much more than a piece of waste paper. And the worst part is all too often the CP and step-parent are lulled into a false sense of security which only adds to the confusion and distress if and when the biological parent reappears to assert parental rights.

Sad for just about everyone involved.
 

sheila4950

Junior Member
i am surprised at all the hostility here. my intent was never to treat the child as a possession. i wanted to know how others would handle a bad situation. i am aware i have no rights here as i am not a blood relative. but my husband is the biological grandfather and should have some rights to his grandchild. we are participating when we can - the grandchild will begin school kindergarden this year and we bought all her school supplies and clothes for school. we will continue to participate monitarily as the ex-wife grandmother will allow. i agree with most of the comments that the father has legal rights to the child but we cannot force him to take a child he doesn't want anything to do with. i am concerned that the grandmother is reducing the child's family as she sees fit by not allowing visitation by either the mother's or father's family. it is a sad situation and i will continue to fight for the rights of the child and grandfather. thank for your input everyone.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
i am surprised at all the hostility here. my intent was never to treat the child as a possession. i wanted to know how others would handle a bad situation. i am aware i have no rights here as i am not a blood relative. but my husband is the biological grandfather and should have some rights to his grandchild. we are participating when we can - the grandchild will begin school kindergarden this year and we bought all her school supplies and clothes for school. we will continue to participate monitarily as the ex-wife grandmother will allow. i agree with most of the comments that the father has legal rights to the child but we cannot force him to take a child he doesn't want anything to do with. i am concerned that the grandmother is reducing the child's family as she sees fit by not allowing visitation by either the mother's or father's family. it is a sad situation and i will continue to fight for the rights of the child and grandfather. thank for your input everyone.
grandpa has no rights. daddy can leave his child with anyone his heart desires. even with angelina jolie if he wanted. and grandpa has no say so.

so you can stop fighting now. no rights to fight for.
 

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