Grandparent Rights in NJ - Urgent Please Help!

[sarma20]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I do not speak to my sister, my mom or my dad anymore. Recently, i have stopped speaking with my dad because He oversteps in our lives and doesn't respect my husband and I when it comes to the decisions we make when it comes to our son. For example, We will not let our son see my sister or my mom because of how toxic and down right evil they are. My dad has been upset and disrespecting us when it comes to our son by sending them pictures and trying to pressure us into letting them see our son. So Now - my dad has not tried since the beginning of may to see our son and has only seen him a total of 5 or 6 times since hes been born. Up until the past two weeks, he has not contacted my husband or I to try and see our son or to even see how he is. He is taking us to court to get visitation rights and I feel that it is only to teach us a lesson so that we learn "not to challenge him" (his words not mine). We don't want him seeing our son because of the way he acts towards us, and because of the negative energy it will bring into our lives again and more importantly into our sons lives. We have a terrible relationship with him now and as parents we feel that it isn't a good situation for our son to be in. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really am lost. I am at my witts end. I don't think that it is in our sons best interest to have a relationship with any of them and I just need advice or guidance or something.

 

[ecmst12]

Have you actually been served with court papers?

 

[latigo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

I do not speak to my sister, my mom or my dad anymore. Recently, i have stopped speaking with my dad because He oversteps in our lives and doesn't respect my husband and I when it comes to the decisions we make when it comes to our son. For example, We will not let our son see my sister or my mom because of how toxic and down right evil they are. My dad has been upset and disrespecting us when it comes to our son by sending them pictures and trying to pressure us into letting them see our son. So Now - my dad has not tried since the beginning of may to see our son and has only seen him a total of 5 or 6 times since hes been born. Up until the past two weeks, he has not contacted my husband or I to try and see our son or to even see how he is.


He is taking us to court to get visitation rights and I feel that it is only to teach us a lesson so that we learn "not to challenge him" (his words not mine). We don't want him seeing our son because of the way he acts towards us, and because of the negative energy it will bring into our lives again and more importantly into our sons lives. We have a terrible relationship with him now and as parents we feel that it isn't a good situation for our son to be in. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really am lost. I am at my witts end. I don't think that it is in our sons best interest to have a relationship with any of them and I just need advice or guidance or something.

Apparently this parent of a parent has not been apprized of the New Jersey Supreme Court exhaustive decision in Moriarty vs. Bradt (2003) on the subject of grandparents’ access in your state.

In following the U. S. Supreme Court’s 2000 landmark case of Troxel vs. Granville - preserving family autonomy and recognizing the superior rights of fit parent(s) to make decisions regarding the custody and control of their minor children - the New Jersey court stated:

“A fit parent's decision regarding his or her child's visitation with a non-parent can be overridden ONLY by evidence of demonstrable physical or psychological harm to the child.” (Emphasis added)

Now if grandpa thinks he can overcome that burden of proof and by clear and convincing evidence, his head is full of marbles!

Moreover, you may be able to recover you legal fees in defending such a specious effort.

When and if he does file, see your attorney post haste. But my guess is that he is either bluffing or has handfuls of hundred dollar bills he can't decide what to do with.

Good luck

 

[sarma20]

He has not filed. He said he is going to family court on Monday.

I too want to believe he is bluffing but I know he will do this just to prove a point.

He doesn't have tons of money to throw around but neither do we. So if this does have to go to court, I don't think we could afford an attorney.

 

[ecmst12]

Ignore him until you actually get papers. If you do, get a lawyer.

 

[sarma20]

Well after trying to resolve this yesterday he got mad at us and blew up. He said he is going to fight this to the end and told my husband any further contact will be deemed harassment. He also said he was going to go to the court and say we are unfit parents and also dragging my husbands family into it all saying they have "substance abuse problems", I assure you none of them do. Outside of the occasional drinks we might have but I don't see how that would be considered substance abuse. I think he is just making baseless accusations in order to get this to court.

 

[ecmst12]

You're not listening. IGNORE HIM means STOP TALKING TO HIM. Cut off all contact. IF you are served with court papers, hire a lawyer. But if he doesn't have an excess of disposable cash, he's just blowing smoke at you, because it would be exceedingly expensive for him to take you to court, only to almost surely lose. He doesn't even have standing to FILE, given that you are an intact family. So stop talking to him.

 

[sarma20]

You're not listening. IGNORE HIM means STOP TALKING TO HIM. Cut off all contact. IF you are served with court papers, hire a lawyer. But if he doesn't have an excess of disposable cash, he's just blowing smoke at you, because it would be exceedingly expensive for him to take you to court, only to almost surely lose. He doesn't even have standing to FILE, given that you are an intact family. So stop talking to him.

We have now stopped speaking with him. He is not allowed to contact either of us or it will be "deemed" as harassment. I know he will file with the court and I know that he will infact, go through with this to prove a point. Just waiting to get the court documents.

 

[Proserpina]

We have now stopped speaking with him. He is not allowed to contact either of us or it will be "deemed" as harassment. I know he will file with the court and I know that he will infact, go through with this to prove a point. Just waiting to get the court documents.

I wonder what his response will be when he's asked, "If the child is at risk, if the parents are so unfit, why haven't you called child services? Why is your first move to file for custody?"

 

[ecmst12]

If he can't afford to pay a lawyer a large retainer, I doubt you'll be seeing anything from the court.

 

[Ohiogal]

I wonder what his response will be when he's asked, "If the child is at risk, if the parents are so unfit, why haven't you called child services? Why is your first move to file for custody?"

Judges and magistrates do ask this question. It was asked in a temporary orders hearing when dad started making accusations that mom was unfit -- it didn't work out for dad. *snicker*