What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania
Back in 2013 my son's paternal grandmother filed for custody against me. Currently the way our custody order stands is mother, father, and paternal grandmother have shared legal custody. I have primary physical, they each have partial. My son's father was living with his mom when our custody order went into effect, but I found out in Nov 2014 that my son's father no longer lives with his mom. My son spends more time with his grandmother than with his dad. Out of 3 different times of visitation a week, my son says he only sees his dad once. On rare occasion he sees his dad twice. They get one overnight a week, and that overnight my son spends at his grandmother's, not even with his dad. I don't want his grandmother to have so much visitation with my son. It's unnecessary. I hate that I never get a full weekend with my son because they get every single friday into saturday and my son isn't even spending the majority of that time with his dad.
Also, when the original proceedings for court happened that led to this custody order, I didn't have an attorney and I was completely ignorant of child custody laws and grandparent rights. I've read and studied the statutes, I don't believe my son's grandmother ever had standing for legal custody. She did have standing for visitation since by that point my son's father and I were separated for 6 months. Is there anything I can do to make some drastic changes? Everything about my custody order is just terrible for me. I only get one week of vacation a year with my son. I used to take 3 weeks a year. He would also spend 2 weeks every summer in Florida with my mother because that is where she lives. He can't do that anymore. Since my son was born, he spent every 4th of July week with my dad and step mom in AC. My parents can no longer do that with them. I have a sister in Rhode Island, a sister in California, a brother in Georgia, and a sister with my mom and all my moms family in Florida. I can't even take a weekend trip with my son. His paternal grandmother is never willing to cooperate with me. She is constantly screaming and fighting in front of my son. She even called my son's father a piece of S** in front of both me and my son. She is just a miserable person.
I can't say anything good about my son's father either. I have a PFA against him because of threats and stalking. Were allowed communication in case of medical emergency and schedule changes, but he refuses to have any contact with me. He even blocks my phone number. It's best that we don't speak too much, but I honestly only try to contact him when absolutely needed. There have been times that I had to have 2 and 3 different people try to call him for me when my son was ill. He barely spends time with my son. He tells my son he constantly has to leave to go to work during his visitation times. He works 15 hours a week on a community college campus in a work study program. He's constantly lying.
Neither one of them do anything beneficial for my son. Over the last year and half, they don't take him to the doctor, to church, attend a single parent teacher conference, they didn't show up for his first day of Kindergarten or First Grade, no open houses, no after school activities, they didn't even buy school pictures, and they discourage my son from playing sports because it takes up "their time". My son missed his last 2 tball games last spring because they didn't want to take him. And my son quit football this past fall after his dad told him he wouldn't go to any of the games because if he goes "mommy will call the police to put him in jail"
I literally go through periods of depression because of this situation. Of course I always hold it together in front of my son, but my heart regularly breaks. This custody order has changed my life. I can't travel, visit my family long distance, I can't be the loud excited mom cheering from the sidelines of the football field. My son keeps asking me to play different sports and I always have to be the bad guy and say no because I know they won't support him or participate for my son's sake. I'm tired of trying and feeling like I'm failing as a parent. I feel overly restricted. I'm a good mom. I always have been. I do everything for my son, I'm always there for him.
How can I change this? Is a modification enough? How far can I take it? Would it be possible for me to get sole legal custody, lower their amount of visitation time, increase my vacation time, maybe even give my mom and dad back the time they used to get with my son?
I apologize for this being so long. If anyone actually gets through the whole thing and is willing to share any information, please do. I'm all ears.
Back in 2013 my son's paternal grandmother filed for custody against me. Currently the way our custody order stands is mother, father, and paternal grandmother have shared legal custody. I have primary physical, they each have partial. My son's father was living with his mom when our custody order went into effect, but I found out in Nov 2014 that my son's father no longer lives with his mom. My son spends more time with his grandmother than with his dad. Out of 3 different times of visitation a week, my son says he only sees his dad once. On rare occasion he sees his dad twice. They get one overnight a week, and that overnight my son spends at his grandmother's, not even with his dad. I don't want his grandmother to have so much visitation with my son. It's unnecessary. I hate that I never get a full weekend with my son because they get every single friday into saturday and my son isn't even spending the majority of that time with his dad.
Also, when the original proceedings for court happened that led to this custody order, I didn't have an attorney and I was completely ignorant of child custody laws and grandparent rights. I've read and studied the statutes, I don't believe my son's grandmother ever had standing for legal custody. She did have standing for visitation since by that point my son's father and I were separated for 6 months. Is there anything I can do to make some drastic changes? Everything about my custody order is just terrible for me. I only get one week of vacation a year with my son. I used to take 3 weeks a year. He would also spend 2 weeks every summer in Florida with my mother because that is where she lives. He can't do that anymore. Since my son was born, he spent every 4th of July week with my dad and step mom in AC. My parents can no longer do that with them. I have a sister in Rhode Island, a sister in California, a brother in Georgia, and a sister with my mom and all my moms family in Florida. I can't even take a weekend trip with my son. His paternal grandmother is never willing to cooperate with me. She is constantly screaming and fighting in front of my son. She even called my son's father a piece of S** in front of both me and my son. She is just a miserable person.
I can't say anything good about my son's father either. I have a PFA against him because of threats and stalking. Were allowed communication in case of medical emergency and schedule changes, but he refuses to have any contact with me. He even blocks my phone number. It's best that we don't speak too much, but I honestly only try to contact him when absolutely needed. There have been times that I had to have 2 and 3 different people try to call him for me when my son was ill. He barely spends time with my son. He tells my son he constantly has to leave to go to work during his visitation times. He works 15 hours a week on a community college campus in a work study program. He's constantly lying.
Neither one of them do anything beneficial for my son. Over the last year and half, they don't take him to the doctor, to church, attend a single parent teacher conference, they didn't show up for his first day of Kindergarten or First Grade, no open houses, no after school activities, they didn't even buy school pictures, and they discourage my son from playing sports because it takes up "their time". My son missed his last 2 tball games last spring because they didn't want to take him. And my son quit football this past fall after his dad told him he wouldn't go to any of the games because if he goes "mommy will call the police to put him in jail"
I literally go through periods of depression because of this situation. Of course I always hold it together in front of my son, but my heart regularly breaks. This custody order has changed my life. I can't travel, visit my family long distance, I can't be the loud excited mom cheering from the sidelines of the football field. My son keeps asking me to play different sports and I always have to be the bad guy and say no because I know they won't support him or participate for my son's sake. I'm tired of trying and feeling like I'm failing as a parent. I feel overly restricted. I'm a good mom. I always have been. I do everything for my son, I'm always there for him.
How can I change this? Is a modification enough? How far can I take it? Would it be possible for me to get sole legal custody, lower their amount of visitation time, increase my vacation time, maybe even give my mom and dad back the time they used to get with my son?
I apologize for this being so long. If anyone actually gets through the whole thing and is willing to share any information, please do. I'm all ears.
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