Grandparent Visitation in New York State???

[Rwedunyet]

I hope that you have a lawyer on this one, OP.

And just to clarify (cuz I'm shocked).....OP stated in the first post that the father had NO court ordered custody or visitation. So Grandmother still has to go after both parents?

I thought (and may be wrong) that visitation was a form of custody modification, so I dont understand how dad would be involved if he has NO custody to modify, the only legal custody to be modified is that held by the mother. Is his required involvement based on the constitutional rights of a parent to raise their child? If so, that could be a huge can of worms that could cause custodial parents/guardians nightmares!

 

[Ohiogal]

Really!? LOL! I have no cronies nor do I need any. Stop backpedaling. You are berating her and it's not relevant here.

Actually no I am not. i haven't berated her at all.

 

[Ohiogal]

I hope that you have a lawyer on this one, OP.

And just to clarify (cuz I'm shocked).....OP stated in the first post that the father had NO court ordered custody or visitation. So Grandmother still has to go after both parents?

I thought (and may be wrong) that visitation was a form of custody modification, so I dont understand how dad would be involved if he has NO custody to modify, the only legal custody to be modified is that held by the mother. Is his required involvement based on the constitutional rights of a parent to raise their child? If so, that could be a huge can of worms that could cause custodial parents/guardians nightmares!

Yes because dad has rights and an interest in custody and visitation. Therefore in order to protect his rights (including the constitutional right of being the child's parent) he has to be served and given a right to defend his rights. If a third party is awarded visitaiton and/or custody, that infringes upon the time that dad could possibly be awarded.

But we shouldn't bring up dad because by bringing up dad having rights and mom needing to recognize them, I apparently am berating mom.

 

[Rushia]

Yes because dad has rights and an interest in custody and visitation. Therefore in order to protect his rights (including the constitutional right of being the child's parent) he has to be served and given a right to defend his rights. If a third party is awarded visitaiton and/or custody, that infringes upon the time that dad could possibly be awarded.

But we shouldn't bring up dad because by bringing up dad having rights and mom needing to recognize them, I apparently am berating mom.

In this case, Mom only needs to recognize them to make sure the court is aware that he is exists for the reasons that you state. Outside of that then yes, at this point she can "dictate" as she pleases cause it has nothing to do with GPV.

 

[amberreger]

She has to sue both you and dad. If she doesn't, she can't progress with the case. If she hasn't sued dad, then ask for the case to be dismissed. You apparently don't understand how much a part of it he actually is. She has to sue him in addition to you.

Well it looks like her life is going to get a lot harder now, this is why she should have backed off and stayed on my good side because the only way she was going to see her grandson was through me since her son doesnt want her involved but she wants control so of course she would have to bring it to court. I do understand how much of a pert he is i am not saying hes no in any means.

 

[amberreger]

100% correct. When is court? Did she actually serve you yet? Where in NY are you (you can PM this part)?

I am so sorry it didnt go your way that makes me feel like this is going to really be a long hard battle...Court is febuary 11th and yes i got the papers in the mail she never actually served them to me but i will pm you!

 

[Rushia]

Well it looks like her life is going to get a lot harder now, this is why she should have backed off and stayed on my good side because the only way she was going to see her grandson was through me since her son doesnt want her involved but she wants control so of course she would have to bring it to court. I do understand how much of a pert he is i am not saying hes no in any means.

Get a lawyer. Be warned, even if she adds him to the suit, she could still win for the reasons I mentioned before. Her being a lousy/neglectful mother to him doesn't mean the court WON'T award her visitation.

 

[Rwedunyet]

Yes because dad has rights and an interest in custody and visitation. Therefore in order to protect his rights (including the constitutional right of being the child's parent) he has to be served and given a right to defend his rights. If a third party is awarded visitaiton and/or custody, that infringes upon the time that dad could possibly be awarded.

But we shouldn't bring up dad because by bringing up dad having rights and mom needing to recognize them, I apparently am berating mom.

That makes sense, I hadn't considered the bolded portion. Thank you for the explanation!

 

[Ohiogal]

Really? Is this supposed to be a joke?

No. It is actually a really serious comment since I have been attacked and accused on every thread I have been on when I haven't posted anything attacking/mean/cruel. You said I was berating mom. NO WHERE on this thread have I berated mom. I have been berated by you. But I didn't berate mom. I asked questions and got basically attacked by you and accused of having cronies. Really? I don't control anyone. I don't ask ANYONE to defend me. I don't have cronies anymore than you do. You read into my posts what you ASSUMED was there. I asked questions. I made points. I even gave her a way to dismiss. I even deferred to you. And yet you went off on me berating mom and onward you went. So continue onward.

 

[Rwedunyet]

OG has been getting slammed on multiple threads today. I was even wondering what the deal was.

I dont always agree with OG. She can be pretty blunt, and at times, she will seem accusatory. But, if we put the emotion aside, she is helpful and often times, tremendously so.

Yup, I do think she was a little too aggressive in this thread and I do not agree with the way she presented her opinion on this. Strangely though, the world has kept right on turning. But....she has acted no different than many others have acted, both on this thread and on others. Shall they be attacked or perhaps it's time to quit beating a dead horse?

It's quite sad to see that this woman's cry for help has been turned into a petty boxing ring. Everyone helps in their own way, some with softer words than others, however the last several posts have been just a cold indifference to another human being's pain.

OP, I hate that you are having to go through this. I commend you for choosing care for your child. I understand that you did not choose to get pregnant, and this whole situation is unfair to you, and most esp unfair to this child. Granted, you should not have been drinking, but your drunken-ed state did not lessen that he raped you. However, when you did not report the rape, for whatever reasons, you opened the door for the father to have rights. It was an emotional and fearful time, I understand that, but sadly there are going to be repercussions to the decision that you made. You owe it to your child to handle them as eloquently as possible. Legally, he is the father and not the rapist, nor the sperm donor.

I also strongly urge you to seek counseling. Unfortunately for you (and your child), there will be little to no "closure" for this rape, as you will now have to deal with this man, the father of your child, for the next 18 years.

Cant we all just take a deep breath?

*going back to my safe little bubble now*

 

[stealth2]

OP, I hate that you are having to go through this. I commend you for choosing care for your child. I understand that you did not choose to get pregnant, and this whole situation is unfair to you, and most esp unfair to this child. Granted, you should not have been drinking, but your drunken-ed state did not lessen that he raped you. However, when you did not report the rape, for whatever reasons, you opened the door for the father to have rights. It was an emotional and fearful time, I understand that, but sadly there are going to be repercussions to the decision that you made. You owe it to your child to handle them as eloquently as possible. Legally, he is the father and not the rapist, nor the sperm donor.

I also strongly urge you to seek counseling. Unfortunately for you (and your child), there will be little to no "closure" for this rape, as you will now have to deal with this man, the father of your child, for the next 18 years.

Cant we all just take a deep breath?

*going back to my safe little bubble now*

Perhaps going to the thread you are referencing would be wise. It's not this one.

 

[stealth2]

Psst... what rape? This is a grandparent visitation case. Nor was OP drunk. Wrong thread on that.

Whew - not just me!