Grandparent Visitation in New York State???

[amberreger]

I am in New York State and i just had a baby who is right now 3 and a half months old. Me and my sons father are not together but he is on the birth certificate and paternity has been proven. My sons father has no legal custody or visitation set up yet though and he has not made any move to go to court and get that set up. I allow him to come see his son every time he asks but i will not let him take my son on his own yet i feel he is to little and he has not been around enough to know how to properly care for him. Now my Exs mother is taking me to court for her grandparent rights to get court ordered visitation with him even though i allow her to see him probably once or twice a month depending how busy i am from taking care of a newborn baby on my own i have never tried to keep my son from her but she is not satisfied and wants at least once a week visits with him without me there, she wants one on one time with him like a parent when she isn't even a parent to him. Can she really get court ordered visitation just because she wants more time with him that she is not getting? Its not like i am keeping him from her so she needs a court to intervene and also he is only 3 months old this time i feel is crucial and important to be spent with parents to build that bond and so the parents can fully get into their new life as parents and caring for their child how can she have the right to interfere with that? Wouldnt it be her sons responsibility to encourage that relationship, i do not for the rest of my life want to follow a court ordered visitation schedule with my exs mother i feel that is taking away from my rights and freedom as a mother. What usually happens in new york state for GPV and do you think she will be granted visitation in a case like this? what can i do to try to prevent this from happening? Thank you.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am in New York State and i just had a baby who is right now 3 and a half months old. Me and my sons father are not together but he is on the birth certificate and paternity has been proven. My sons father has no legal custody or visitation set up yet though and he has not made any move to go to court and get that set up. I allow him to come see his son every time he asks but i will not let him take my son on his own yet i feel he is to little and he has not been around enough to know how to properly care for him. Now my Exs mother is taking me to court for her grandparent rights to get court ordered visitation with him even though i allow her to see him probably once or twice a month depending how busy i am from taking care of a newborn baby on my own i have never tried to keep my son from her but she is not satisfied and wants at least once a week visits with him without me there, she wants one on one time with him like a parent when she isn't even a parent to him. Can she really get court ordered visitation just because she wants more time with him that she is not getting? Its not like i am keeping him from her so she needs a court to intervene and also he is only 3 months old this time i feel is crucial and important to be spent with parents to build that bond and so the parents can fully get into their new life as parents and caring for their child how can she have the right to interfere with that? Wouldnt it be her sons responsibility to encourage that relationship, i do not for the rest of my life want to follow a court ordered visitation schedule with my exs mother i feel that is taking away from my rights and freedom as a mother. What usually happens in new york state for GPV and do you think she will be granted visitation in a case like this? what can i do to try to prevent this from happening? Thank you.

Don't agree to any grandparent visitation. Regarding dad, just out of curiosity:
1) How many other children do you have?
2) What tests did you have to take to bring the baby to your home after giving birth?
3) Does the child go to daycare? Does the child spend time with your parents without you?

 

[amberreger]

Don't agree to any grandparent visitation. Regarding dad, just out of curiosity:
1) How many other children do you have?
2) What tests did you have to take to bring the baby to your home after giving birth?
3) Does the child go to daycare? Does the child spend time with your parents without you?

This is our first and only child together. What do you mean tests to take the baby home with me after giving birth? I didnt have to take any tests i dont think. The child does not go to daycare i am the sole caretaker he has never been left alone with anyone other than myself since he was born, except on one occasion when i had to go to a doctors appointment when my mom watched him for no longer than an hour.

 

[Eekamouse]

And how was baby traumatized by that one hour of you being absent? He wasn't, right? You think that spending time with his other grandmother without you being present will somehow disrupt your bond with your baby? Why does daddy have to see his baby with you present instead of taking the baby on his own and building their bond one on one with no interference from you? Taking care of a baby is not rocket science. Saying the dad has not been around enough yet to know how to care for the baby is just an excuse.

 

[Rushia]

Don't agree to any grandparent visitation. Regarding dad, just out of curiosity:
1) How many other children do you have?
2) What tests did you have to take to bring the baby to your home after giving birth?
3) Does the child go to daycare? Does the child spend time with your parents without you?

Outside of setting OP up for an argument, your questions are not relevant to GPV in NY. Try to argue case law or what you THINK the judge is going to ask and I'll tell you from personal experience and the experience of several people in NY who were sued for GPV that your questions are NOT relevant to GPV.

The only thing I agree with is that OP should NOT agree to anything in court.

 

[Rushia]

Advice to the OP. Do NOT answer any questions regarding the FATHER'S visitation or lack there of within this thread. I can promise you that the only relevance it has is if Gramma were to win any visitation. The only thing that it's going to do here is start a 20 page argument about how horrible you are to the father. Don't fall for it.

 

[amberreger]

Advice to the OP. Do NOT answer any questions regarding the FATHER'S visitation or lack there of within this thread. I can promise you that the only relevance it has is if Gramma were to win any visitation. The only thing that it's going to do here is start a 20 page argument about how horrible you are to the father. Don't fall for it.

I will be sure to keep him out of it from now on since your right this question has nothing to do with that situation and no one knows all the information or details about what is happening with the father. Do you have experience with GPV cases in nys?

 

[Ohiogal]

Outside of setting OP up for an argument, your questions are not relevant to GPV in NY. Try to argue case law or what you THINK the judge is going to ask and I'll tell you from personal experience and the experience of several people in NY who were sued for GPV that your questions are NOT relevant to GPV.

The only thing I agree with is that OP should NOT agree to anything in court.

How about you try not to dictate what I should ask or what I should post? Thank you.

 

[Rushia]

I will be sure to keep him out of it from now on since your right this question has nothing to do with that situation and no one knows all the information or details about what is happening with the father. Do you have experience with GPV cases in nys?

As a matter of fact, I do. I was sued in 2005 and the case lasted until 2008, so I know plenty about it. First she has to prove that she has standing (the right to sue). Being as she's the gramma, you're not together with the ex, and she has seen the child, she will most likely have standing. Then it goes to best interests.

There are 2 different ways I've seen it go.

1: The child is so young that gramma cannot prove a relationship that would be harmed if it was not allowed to continue and then the GP loses.

2: The child is so young that they deserve to have a chance to know a GP and so parent loses.

It is entirely up to the judge. The only reason the Father's visitation MIGHT matter is that any time Gramma would be awarded would come out of HIS time. As he doesn't have any scheduled visitation, the court MIGHT order up to half of what a Dad would normally get in NY. Then again, MOST GPV orders usually only give them one day per month.

Sadly most Grandparents are convinced that they deserve and will receive oodles of time with the child and that simply isn't true.

 

[Rushia]

How about you try not to dictate what I should ask or what I should post? Thank you.

Post whatever you choose, but as we all like to spout about this being a LEGAL board and that we should stay on topic.....Well, let's stay on topic. Father's visitation or lack there of is not relevant to the poster's question. I wanted OP to be aware of that. Thanks.

 

[Ohiogal]

Post whatever you choose, but as we all like to spout about this being a LEGAL board and that we should stay on topic.....Well, let's stay on topic. Father's visitation or lack there of is not relevant to the poster's question. I wanted OP to be aware of that. Thanks.

Well ONE WAY she could possibly nip grandma in the bud is to file for dad to have visitation and that grandma's visitation should flow through dad. But in order for her to do that she has to be aware of what dad can possibly expect and that some of what she is saying may be considered unreasonable. But if she doesn't want to cut grandma off at the knees by doing a legal counterstrike, that is fine. I will stick strictly to only GRANDPARENT visitation rather than bringing up that mom filing for dad to get visits may be a way to shut grandma down.

 

[Rushia]

Well ONE WAY she could possibly nip grandma in the bud is to file for dad to have visitation and that grandma's visitation should flow through dad. But in order for her to do that she has to be aware of what dad can possibly expect and that some of what she is saying may be considered unreasonable. But if she doesn't want to cut grandma off at the knees by doing a legal counterstrike, that is fine. I will stick strictly to only GRANDPARENT visitation rather than bringing up that mom filing for dad to get visits may be a way to shut grandma down.

You'd think that would work, but in NY it won't. Thanks for trying though.

 

[amberreger]

As a matter of fact, I do. I was sued in 2005 and the case lasted until 2008, so I know plenty about it. First she has to prove that she has standing (the right to sue). Being as she's the gramma, you're not together with the ex, and she has seen the child, she will most likely have standing. Then it goes to best interests.

There are 2 different ways I've seen it go.

1: The child is so young that gramma cannot prove a relationship that would be harmed if it was not allowed to continue and then the GP loses.

2: The child is so young that they deserve to have a chance to know a GP and so parent loses.

It is entirely up to the judge. The only reason the Father's visitation MIGHT matter is that any time Gramma would be awarded would come out of HIS time. As he doesn't have any scheduled visitation, the court MIGHT order up to half of what a Dad would normally get in NY. Then again, MOST GPV orders usually only give them one day per month.

Sadly most Grandparents are convinced that they deserve and will receive oodles of time with the child and that simply isn't true.

what i don't understand is why she is able to take me to court for visitation WHEN I AM LETTING HER SEE HIM! Its not even like i stopped letting her visit him i am just not letting her visit him the amount of time she is requesting which is in her words minimally once a week, that is outrageous in my eyes, i didnt even see my grandparents once a week sometimes i didnt even see them once a month so what gives her the right to do this when she does see the child just not enough in her eyes. I feel like a court shouldnt even entertain this case because to me it seems completely ridiculous and i feel like my control over my child as his parent is being taken away and that is completely not fair. Whats the point in having my own child if everyone can just take me to court to try to get some control and rights to a child that isnt even theirs this is unbelievable. Maybe i shouldnt have any more kids and just start taking my family members to court to have access to their kids and do it that way, do you see how ridiculous this all sounds.

 

[Proserpina]

what i don't understand is why she is able to take me to court for visitation WHEN I AM LETTING HER SEE HIM! Its not even like i stopped letting her visit him i am just not letting her visit him the amount of time she is requesting which is in her words minimally once a week, that is outrageous in my eyes, i didnt even see my grandparents once a week sometimes i didnt even see them once a month so what gives her the right to do this when she does see the child just not enough in her eyes. I feel like a court shouldnt even entertain this case because to me it seems completely ridiculous and i feel like my control over my child as his parent is being taken away and that is completely not fair. Whats the point in having my own child if everyone can just take me to court to try to get some control and rights to a child that isnt even theirs this is unbelievable. Maybe i shouldnt have any more kids and just start taking my family members to court to have access to their kids and do it that way, do you see how ridiculous this all sounds.

Honestly? Because some grandparents will insist that they have an inherent "right" to see their grandchildren.

Here's the irony though. Most decent grandparents never have to think about suing, since they've kept a decent and respectful relationship with the parents. It tends to be the "toxic" grandparents - who you don't want your kids around anyway - who have to resort to suing.

 

[Ohiogal]

what i don't understand is why she is able to take me to court for visitation WHEN I AM LETTING HER SEE HIM! Its not even like i stopped letting her visit him i am just not letting her visit him the amount of time she is requesting which is in her words minimally once a week, that is outrageous in my eyes, i didnt even see my grandparents once a week sometimes i didnt even see them once a month so what gives her the right to do this when she does see the child just not enough in her eyes. I feel like a court shouldnt even entertain this case because to me it seems completely ridiculous and i feel like my control over my child as his parent is being taken away and that is completely not fair. Whats the point in having my own child if everyone can just take me to court to try to get some control and rights to a child that isnt even theirs this is unbelievable. Maybe i shouldnt have any more kids and just start taking my family members to court to have access to their kids and do it that way, do you see how ridiculous this all sounds.

The problem is grandma has standing. Because you are NOT the only parent this child has. He has two parents and two families. The court will entertain this case because grandma has standing for the reasons Rushia stated. You speak of your control over your child as his parent but what about dad's control? You don't seem to see that he has rights as a parent. You are dictating that. When parents are not together, the court is invited into their lives to make decisions. Because you and dad are not together, grandma is the one issuing the invitation for the court to step in.