Grandparent visitation rights.

[MommaTRN]

My 16 year old daughter moved in with her father in July, 2011. She has recently moved back home after finding out that she was pregnant (due June, 2012) and other issues that she had with her father. They have had some arguments since she has been back home and has told him that she doesn't want to see him and she doesn't want him around the baby. He is now threatening her that he will take her to court to get visitation and has also hinted that he may try to get custody of the baby. He has refused to take any responsibility for her and refuses to help pay for Drs appointments or to take her to the Dr. (The father of the baby has offered to help)

My question is does he have any chance of getting visitation rights?

We live in Oklahoma.

 

[LdiJ]

My 16 year old daughter moved in with her father in July, 2011. She has recently moved back home after finding out that she was pregnant (due June, 2012) and other issues that she had with her father. They have had some arguments since she has been back home and has told him that she doesn't want to see him and she doesn't want him around the baby. He is now threatening her that he will take her to court to get visitation and has also hinted that he may try to get custody of the baby. He has refused to take any responsibility for her and refuses to help pay for Drs appointments or to take her to the Dr. (The father of the baby has offered to help)

My question is does he have any chance of getting visitation rights?

We live in Oklahoma.

The odds would not be in his favor in OK. He would have no pre-established relationship with the baby that needed to be protected for the sake of the child. He also would not be able to get custody of the baby either. The only possible way that he could do that would be to prove that your daughter, the baby's father, you, and maybe even the baby's father's parents were all legally unfit for custody.

I suspect that if everybody just sits back and allows tempers to cool that this will all get resolved in the long term.

 

[mistoffolees]

The odds would not be in his favor in OK. He would have no pre-established relationship with the baby that needed to be protected for the sake of the child. He also would not be able to get custody of the baby either. The only possible way that he could do that would be to prove that your daughter, the baby's father, you, and maybe even the baby's father's parents were all legally unfit for custody.

I suspect that if everybody just sits back and allows tempers to cool that this will all get resolved in the long term.

I agree, but I also would suggest that Mom and Dad both take a parenting class - even at this late date. They have a child who chooses where to live - and they let her. They are willing to let the child choose which parent to talk to. The child gets pregnant at 16. They are using the child's pregnancy as a weapon against the other person.

Really, folks. When are you planning to start acting like PARENTS rather than spoiled kids fighting over a toy?

 

[MommaTRN]

I agree, but I also would suggest that Mom and Dad both take a parenting class - even at this late date. They have a child who chooses where to live - and they let her. They are willing to let the child choose which parent to talk to. The child gets pregnant at 16. They are using the child's pregnancy as a weapon against the other person.

Really, folks. When are you planning to start acting like PARENTS rather than spoiled kids fighting over a toy?

Yes, we do have a child that chose where to live. It was her choice and at 16 she has that right. She wanted to go live with her father because she didn't want to live by my rules. He allowed her to do what she wanted which included allowing her boyfriend to spend the night with her. Which is something that I WOULD NOT have allowed. He is a very manipulative person and all I wanted was to know what chance he had to accomplish what he threatened.

I am not in the least happy or excited about this pregnancy. But I do love my daughter and will be there for her.

 

[davew128]

Yes, we do have a child that chose where to live. It was her choice and at 16 she has that right.

No, she doesn't. She cannot arbitrarily choose where to live until she is emancipated.

 

[CSO286]

Yes, we do have a child that chose where to live. It was her choice and at 16 she has that right.

Please tell me what statutory authority allows a minor child to dictate where he or she lives.

Children's Bill of Rights" by John Rosemond.


Because it is the most character-building, two-letter word in the English language, children have the right to hear their parents say "No" at least three times a day.
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Children have the right to find out early in their lives that their parents don't exist to make them happy, but to offer them the opportunity to learn the skills they will need to eventually make themselves happy.
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Children have a right to scream all they want over the decisions their parents make, albeit their parents have the right to confine said screaming to certain areas of their homes.
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Children have the right to find out early that their parents care deeply for them but don't give a hoot what their children think about them at any given moment in time.
************************************************************************************..
Because it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, children have the right to hear their parents say "Because I said so" on a regular and frequent basis.
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Because it is the most character-building activity a child can engage in, children have the right to share significantly in the doing of household chores.
************************************************************************************..
Every child has the right to discover early in life that he isn't the center of the universe (or his family or his parents' lives), that he isn't a big fish in a small pond, and that he isn't the Second Coming, so as to prevent him from becoming an insufferable brat.
************************************************************************************..
Children have the right to learn to be grateful for what they receive, therefore, they have the right to receive all of what they truly need and very little of what they simply want.
************************************************************************************..
Children have the right to learn early in their lives that obedience to legitimate authority is not optional, that there are consequences for disobedience, and that said consequences are memorable and, therefore, persuasive.
************************************************************************************..
Every child has the right to parents who love him/her enough to make sure he/she enjoys all of the above rights.

http://www.rosemond.com/?action=website-view&WebPageID=21534&WebSiteID=389

 

[LdiJ]

Please tell me what statutory authority allows a minor child to dictate where he or she lives.


http://www.rosemond.com/?action=website-view&WebPageID=21534&WebSiteID=389

It may be that judges in her area typically give a great amount of weight to children's wishes at 16. Children in my state at 16 even have their wishes regarding visitation given great weight.

 

[happybug]

While dad may not have much of a chance of getting court ordered visitation with his grandchild, I think he has an outstanding chance of getting court ordered visitation with his own minor child. His child could then decide to find a sitter for her own child during his parenting time or bring the baby with her.

 

[KariKin]

While dad may not have much of a chance of getting court ordered visitation with his grandchild, I think he has an outstanding chance of getting court ordered visitation with his own minor child. His child could then decide to find a sitter for her own child during his parenting time or bring the baby with her.

I agree with happy.
Although he's a grandparent, your daughter is still a minor and he still has every right to even fight for some type of visitation with his daughter.
To be honest, unless he beat the living crap out of her or molested her, then I'd understand where she was coming from. In this case, you said it yourself "he let her know and do whatever she wanted, including allowing her boyfriend to come over." It just sounds like he overspoiled "Daddy's little girl" and now that that has come to a stop, she's just too spoiled, she needs to grow up a little bit and allow her dad to have some right into that baby's life. What's worse for a child, taking grandparents out of their life and not ever letting that baby have the chance to get to know their grandfather or succoming to the spoiled 16 year old that's mad at her daddy?
Sorry, but when you said he let her go and do what she wanted, that sounded a little spoiled to me and she seems to be the selfish one in this case and shouldn't use selfish judgement on her own perspective to keep her dad out of the baby's life.

 

[davew128]

Sorry, but when you said he let her go and do who she wanted

Fixed it for you.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with happy.
Although he's a grandparent, your daughter is still a minor and he still has every right to even fight for some type of visitation with his daughter.
To be honest, unless he beat the living crap out of her or molested her, then I'd understand where she was coming from. In this case, you said it yourself "he let her know and do whatever she wanted, including allowing her boyfriend to come over." It just sounds like he overspoiled "Daddy's little girl" and now that that has come to a stop, she's just too spoiled, she needs to grow up a little bit and allow her dad to have some right into that baby's life. What's worse for a child, taking grandparents out of their life and not ever letting that baby have the chance to get to know their grandfather or succoming to the spoiled 16 year old that's mad at her daddy?
Sorry, but when you said he let her go and do what she wanted, that sounded a little spoiled to me and she seems to be the selfish one in this case and shouldn't use selfish judgement on her own perspective to keep her dad out of the baby's life.

Re the bolded: There are some grandparents out there that are not fit to be part of their grandchildren's lives. There are some grandparents out there that are perfectly nice people but do not respect their position as grandparents and think that they should still be able to call all the shots.

So, please do not assume that its automatically in every child's best interest to have their grandparents as part of their lives.

Every unfit parent out there is someday likely to be an unfit grandparent.