Grandparents gone wild

[tsr132199872]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Pennsylvania

Unfortunately the details of this problem would easily give away my identity, and legally I can't risk it, so I apologize in advance for being vague-

We've refused visitation to the grandparents of our child based on the simple rule that they are not good people, and have not had any positive effect on our child's life, and their continued presence is only creating problems. We've also had arguments with them recently about family matters. We've attempted to cut all ties to them and move on.

They have not had much contact at all with the child over the last 5 years, and don't really seem to care at all; but in a vengeful attempt to spite us, they have made vague insinuations via texting and phone calls- (they have 'some' money, and we don't) that they will seek to sue us for custody of our child, or bankrupt us trying, or both.

We've asked them to stop contacting us, but they continue.

Can we legally establish a pattern of harassment and also establish a chain of custody in case they try to "snatch" the kid and then make an outrageous claim such as we gave the kid up or abandoned the child or something? And yes, while SAD, one of the parents in this case is that sleazy.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Isis1]

Unless there is something you are not telling us, such as criminal convictions, drug abuse, social services involvement, grandparents have no case for custody.

One quick question, the children involved, do they belong to both you and your spouse within the marriage?

If crazy grandma and grandpa file, immediately request they are ordered to pay your legal fees.

Grandparents like this, really tick me off.

 

[PQN]

Are the parents of the child married to each other?

Are they both in agreement that the grandparents should not have contact with the minor children?

When you say little contact over the last 5 years, how much do you mean?
Did they ever have the children overnight without a parent? Did the children ever live with the grandparents?

Block their numbers from your phones. Unfriend them on social sites. Eliminate any way besides snail mail and email for them to contact you. Have their e-mails redirected into a separate inbox.

One would hope that you would notice a missing child within hours and file a police report that your child is missing. At that time, tell the police that the grandparents made threats (give them copies of the e-mails, etc). Make sure the school is aware that they are only to release your child to those people specifically listed by you on the emergency form. Tell them under no circumstances will anyone else pick up your child unless you call and speak to them first. Let them know that the grandparents are not allowed contact with the children.

 

[mistoffolees]

Unless there is something you are not telling us, such as criminal convictions, drug abuse, social services involvement, grandparents have no case for custody.

One quick question, the children involved, do they belong to both you and your spouse within the marriage?

If crazy grandma and grandpa file, immediately request they are ordered to pay your legal fees.

Grandparents like this, really tick me off.

Meanwhile, OP can block the grandparents' phone number and send their emails to the junk mail folder if it really bothers them.

Although, frankly, I wouldn't do that. it's easy enough to just ignore them when they send drivel, but you never know when they might actually send some information that you need to have.

 

[LdiJ]

Are the parents of the child married to each other?

Are they both in agreement that the grandparents should not have contact with the minor children?

When you say little contact over the last 5 years, how much do you mean?
Did they ever have the children overnight without a parent? Did the children ever live with the grandparents?

Block their numbers from your phones. Unfriend them on social sites. Eliminate any way besides snail mail and email for them to contact you. Have their e-mails redirected into a separate inbox.

One would hope that you would notice a missing child within hours and file a police report that your child is missing. At that time, tell the police that the grandparents made threats (give them copies of the e-mails, etc). Make sure the school is aware that they are only to release your child to those people specifically listed by you on the emergency form. Tell them under no circumstances will anyone else pick up your child unless you call and speak to them first. Let them know that the grandparents are not allowed contact with the children.

In addition, advise the children's school or daycare not to allow the grandparent's access to the children. Do the same with any coaches or any other place where your children are that you are not there also.

 

[mistoffolees]

One would hope that you would notice a missing child within hours and file a police report that your child is missing. At that time, tell the police that the grandparents made threats (give them copies of the e-mails, etc). Make sure the school is aware that they are only to release your child to those people specifically listed by you on the emergency form. Tell them under no circumstances will anyone else pick up your child unless you call and speak to them first. Let them know that the grandparents are not allowed contact with the children.

If there are emails or texts threatening to take the child, it may be sufficient to get a restraining order against them. I would talk with the local DA for guidance.

 

[tsr132199872]

TO answer the questions as best as possible-

No drug convictions or any police issues, we're pretty straight and narrow-
Only have the one child - parents of child are married, still together, both are the biological parents.

Both parents of child agree that contact with the grandparents has a negative impact on child.

By little contact, I mean visits were rare, babysitting maybe once or twice a year, only once in 5 years was babysitting overnight, and the grandparents said "never again". Most contac tin last two years was xmas, birthday, that's about it.

No cell service in the US offers any means to block a number or caller, with exception to Virgin Mobile, I believe. We don't get coverage from that service in my area though, so no chance of blocking. Even our home phone company says we can't block without a court order.

School and transportation services have been notified of potential threat - and action plans have been enacted to deal with situational interference.

So, my questions are:

Do they have a right to "force" visitation? I realize taking custody might be far-fetched, but they have claimed "they have rights" and will shove them down our throats if need be.

It's distressing that when we wanted them to be a part of the child's life, they only wanted to be "part time" (not even, they wanted to visit 2 days a year, at their convenience), and when we decided to cut them off and be done with them, NOW they want it all. They were given every opportunity and burnt every bridge we built. They've done nothing but criticize us and blame us for our own failures (financially), yet refused to help with anything financial, or even support the child educationally, and never wanted to help with sitting or anything. Now they insist we allow visitation and have threatened to sue for custody-

We're just at our wits end. We live check to check and barely scratch out a living. We have no other family for support and do everything alone, by ourselves. We cannot afford a lawyer. They know this and have implied they can just bankrupt us with red tape. It's awful and depressing.

ANY advice as to our legal options would be helpful- some of our questions are:

Can we file some sort of protection from harassment?
Can they force visitation?
Would picking up and moving to another state be in our best interest? (yes, we're that desperate to get away from them)
Anything else we're not thinking of?

THere is so much more to this that I can't tell because it's so damn specific that they would easily see this and just use this as another platform to harass us..

 

[Isis1]

Here's the tiny problem. You are in PA. Which is grandparent friendly. However, they have to meet certain standards.

However, something you said, I'm going to ask you to clarify. You don't allow contact because they don't help you out with babysitting and financially?

 

[Zigner]

Change your cell #.
Ignore their calls (ie: Don't answer)
Delete their voicemails. Or, save them if you'd like to have them on hand to later present a case for a restraining order based on harassment.

 

[mistoffolees]

No cell service in the US offers any means to block a number or caller, with exception to Virgin Mobile, I believe. We don't get coverage from that service in my area though, so no chance of blocking. Even our home phone company says we can't block without a court order.

That's not entirely true.

AT&T, for example, will block a number if you call them (611) and tell them that the grandparents are harrassing you.

AT&T also has a Smart Limits service which will allow you to block the number or only accept calls at a certain time. This service is $5 per month, though.

In addition, some phones have the ability to block specific numbers.

Another suggestion is to simply create a silent ring tone and assign it to their number.

Or, you could just ignore calls from them. It's not that big a deal.

Do they have a right to "force" visitation? I realize taking custody might be far-fetched, but they have claimed "they have rights" and will shove them down our throats if need be.

In PA, they might.
Pennsylvania Grandparents Visitation Law - Grandparents Visitation Law - Grandparents Visitation

However, it doesn't look like any of those things apply, so you should be able to block them if you handle it properly.

It's distressing that when we wanted them to be a part of the child's life, they only wanted to be "part time" (not even, they wanted to visit 2 days a year, at their convenience), and when we decided to cut them off and be done with them, NOW they want it all. They were given every opportunity and burnt every bridge we built. They've done nothing but criticize us and blame us for our own failures (financially), yet refused to help with anything financial, or even support the child educationally, and never wanted to help with sitting or anything. Now they insist we allow visitation and have threatened to sue for custody-

I see. So you created the problem yourself by insisting that the grandparents follow YOUR rules.

Maybe they were busy and didn't have time to be more than 'part time' grandparents. What right do you have to insist that they visit as much as you wanted them to?

So you cut them off entirely. Somehow, your logic was that it was better for the child to NEVER see the grandparents than to see them a couple times a year when the grandparents were available and happy to see them? Do you have any idea how hateful, controlling, and vindictive that sounds?


Bottom line is that the grandparents are not likely to get anywhere - but you're doing a great deal of damage to the kids by fighting over it rather than talking it over.

 

[tsr132199872]

You know what. I posted some detail, but it's only going to be used against me. You are making broad assumptions against me when you don't know the details. These are not good people. They've decided to make us miserable simply because I had the audacity to talk back to them. Now I suffer their revenge.

I edited out the post, I don;t need this showing up in court documents.

sigh...

 

[Isis1]

But you did get very good legal advice.

No one is saying they are right, but as volunteers we also give the "non litigant" approach when we can.

I'd (or any of us for that matter) would hate to see you walk into court with that attitude. It'll hurt you. So stick to the basics. The legal ones.

 

[tsr132199872]

But you did get very good legal advice.

No one is saying they are right, but as volunteers we also give the "non litigant" approach when we can.

I'd (or any of us for that matter) would hate to see you walk into court with that attitude. It'll hurt you. So stick to the basics. The legal ones.

we're frustrated. what do you expect? I would love to post information that discounts statements like

"So you created the problem yourself by insisting that the grandparents follow YOUR rules."

It's even more frustrating that I can't even properly defend myself against statements like that, else I suffer unmasking myself and bringing on ridicule and further harassment by the grandparents themselves. I can almost guarantee you they are scouring the internet for anything to use against us.

 

[tsr132199872]

My one unanswered question remains:

If we move out of state, can we avoid the "grandparent friendly" laws of this state?

 

[mistoffolees]

My one unanswered question remains:

If we move out of state, can we avoid the "grandparent friendly" laws of this state?

They could file in PA until you've been in the other state long enough to have established residency. That length of time varies by state.

You know what. I posted some detail, but it's only going to be used against me. You are making broad assumptions against me when you don't know the details. These are not good people. They've decided to make us miserable simply because I had the audacity to talk back to them. Now I suffer their revenge.

Sorry, but you got good legal advice based on the information you provided. If you think the information you provided leads to bad conclusions, it's no one's fault but your own. Either post accurate information or hire an attorney.