Grandparent's Rights - Oklahoma

[SandraW03]

Good Morning,
I'm trying to see if my in-laws have a case worth pursuing. Here’s a summary of what is going on. My brother in law and his wife have a child (17 months old) and they refuse to let my in-laws as well as my husband and I to see the child. There was a falling out between the grandparents and the child’s parents after he was born because they would not allow our side of the family to see the child. In the 17 months he has been alive I’ve seen him no more than 10 times and less than 2 hours a time.
I’ve done a little bit of research online and I can’t find a scenario where the grandparents are awarded rights when the parents are still married and competent to care for the child. Also, in what I’ve read it keeps talking about existing relationship between grandparents and grandchild, but in our situation the parents have not allowed a relationship and the grandchild is too young to know any better.
If anyone has any advice or has personally been in a situation like this, I would really appreciate your help. We are all sick to our stomachs that we cannot be a part of his life and see him grow up.
Thank You!!

 

[TheGeekess]

Then y'all need to make nice with Mom and Dad and hope that they change their minds.

That's the only way that you'll get to see Junior.

 

[Antigone*]

Good Morning,
I'm trying to see if my in-laws have a case worth pursuing. Here’s a summary of what is going on. My brother in law and his wife have a child (17 months old) and they refuse to let my in-laws as well as my husband and I to see the child. There was a falling out between the grandparents and the child’s parents after he was born because they would not allow our side of the family to see the child. In the 17 months he has been alive I’ve seen him no more than 10 times and less than 2 hours a time.
I’ve done a little bit of research online and I can’t find a scenario where the grandparents are awarded rights when the parents are still married and competent to care for the child. Also, in what I’ve read it keeps talking about existing relationship between grandparents and grandchild, but in our situation the parents have not allowed a relationship and the grandchild is too young to know any better.
If anyone has any advice or has personally been in a situation like this, I would really appreciate your help. We are all sick to our stomachs that we cannot be a part of his life and see him grow up.
Thank You!!

You are right. Grandparents and extended family have no inherent rights to the child.

They can however do as TheGeekess suggested.

 

[Isis1]

Good Morning,
I'm trying to see if my in-laws have a case worth pursuing. Here’s a summary of what is going on. My brother in law and his wife have a child (17 months old) and they refuse to let my in-laws as well as my husband and I to see the child. There was a falling out between the grandparents and the child’s parents after he was born because they would not allow our side of the family to see the child. In the 17 months he has been alive I’ve seen him no more than 10 times and less than 2 hours a time.
I’ve done a little bit of research online and I can’t find a scenario where the grandparents are awarded rights when the parents are still married and competent to care for the child. Also, in what I’ve read it keeps talking about existing relationship between grandparents and grandchild, but in our situation the parents have not allowed a relationship and the grandchild is too young to know any better.
If anyone has any advice or has personally been in a situation like this, I would really appreciate your help. We are all sick to our stomachs that we cannot be a part of his life and see him grow up. Thank You!!

can you say drama? i have family members all over the city where i live and everyone seems to be living just fine not all up in each other's business. we see each other when we see each other. some i've only seen once in my entire life at a funeral. including my sister. she made it this far without me.

leave mom and dad alone. they'll come around when they want to, and there's nothing you can do about!

 

[ElvinMelvin]

First you said:

My brother in law and his wife have a child (17 months old) and they refuse to let my in-laws as well as my husband and I to see the child

Then you said:

In the 17 months he has been alive I’ve seen him no more than 10 times and less than 2 hours a time.

So which is it, that you cannot see the baby or that you can see the baby an average of once every couple of months for a couple of hours at a time (i.e. a reasonable amount of time to visit)? Drama indeed.

The fact of the matter is that the only viable recourse you and your ILs have is to try to repair the breach with the parents.

 

[LdiJ]

Good Morning,
I'm trying to see if my in-laws have a case worth pursuing. Here’s a summary of what is going on. My brother in law and his wife have a child (17 months old) and they refuse to let my in-laws as well as my husband and I to see the child. There was a falling out between the grandparents and the child’s parents after he was born because they would not allow our side of the family to see the child. In the 17 months he has been alive I’ve seen him no more than 10 times and less than 2 hours a time.
I’ve done a little bit of research online and I can’t find a scenario where the grandparents are awarded rights when the parents are still married and competent to care for the child. Also, in what I’ve read it keeps talking about existing relationship between grandparents and grandchild, but in our situation the parents have not allowed a relationship and the grandchild is too young to know any better.
If anyone has any advice or has personally been in a situation like this, I would really appreciate your help. We are all sick to our stomachs that we cannot be a part of his life and see him grow up.
Thank You!!

Your brother in law and his wife are an intact family and therefore they are protected under OK law. Your inlaws would not have standing to sue.

The double whammy is that even if they did have standing to sue, they have no existing relationship with the child.

Therefore, like everyone else said, its time for everyone to make nice with your brother in law and his wife if they want to see the child.

 

[muchneededhelp]

So which is it, that you cannot see the baby or that you can see the baby an average of once every couple of months for a couple of hours at a time (i.e. a reasonable amount of time to visit)? Drama indeed.

The fact of the matter is that the only viable recourse you and your ILs have is to try to repair the breach with the parents.

How many aunts, uncles, grandparents/grandchildren are separated by states, who welcome just even a once a year visit... you are griping about 10 visits in 17 months? Really? Did you ever stop to think why the parents don't want you over? If I were to read into this, I would say you are a little more demanding than you should be and they don't appreciate it. I know I didn't with my own parents.

Listen to the senior posters. They know their stuff. Write a nice letter to the parents, try to mend the relationship you have with them BEFORE even talking about the child. They are the ultimate decision makers for their child. Regardless of how you feel about that, thats the simple truth. If you want to be in the child's life, you ALL need to accept the fact that it's not going to be as much as you wish. Tread lightly; once you cross a line, you'll never be able to go back. A visit for a couple of hours every 2 months is better than nothing at all.

 

[frylover]

How many aunts, uncles, grandparents/grandchildren are separated by states, who welcome just even a once a year visit... you are griping about 10 visits in 17 months? Really? Did you ever stop to think why the parents don't want you over? If I were to read into this, I would say you are a little more demanding than you should be and they don't appreciate it. I know I didn't with my own parents.

Listen to the senior posters. They know their stuff. Write a nice letter to the parents, try to mend the relationship you have with them BEFORE even talking about the child. They are the ultimate decision makers for their child. Regardless of how you feel about that, thats the simple truth. If you want to be in the child's life, you ALL need to accept the fact that it's not going to be as much as you wish. Tread lightly; once you cross a line, you'll never be able to go back. A visit for a couple of hours every 2 months is better than nothing at all.

This reminds me of my MIL, who announced at my dauighter's baptism at six weeks of age to all present that they "NEVER" got to see my daughter. This was the FOURTH time they had seen her!

 

[muchneededhelp]

This reminds me of my MIL, who announced at my dauighter's baptism at six weeks of age to all present that they "NEVER" got to see my daughter. This was the FOURTH time they had seen her!

Unfortunately, it seems that people are more concerned with the quantity of time versus the quality of time spent with the ones they love. I've also found that grandparents not only feel overly entitled, but they should be the ones who get the most time with the grandchild(ren). I had to constantly fight my parents because they felt the "other grandparents" got more time than they did; they went as far as to say my children's stepgrandparents shouldn't get as much as they did because "They aren't even their REAL grandparents". Never mind the fact that the children actually had meaningful, wonderful relationships better with the stepgrandparents than they did with THEM. *sighs*