Grandparents suing for visitation

[OhioDivorcedMom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
My ex husband and I divorced in January of 2014. His parents had very little relationship with my son (their paternal grandson) from birth to 5, and almost none from 5 til the time of the divorce, my son was almost 9 at the time of divorce and wanted us to get divorced and his dad to leave because of the way his dad treated us both. My son doesn't like them, is afraid of them, doesn't want anything to do with them. They've only made contact with him when it somehow benefitted them. They've threatened me, and spoken very badly of me in front of my son. They've made no effort to contact me or my son since the divorce, 18 months. The ex is in prison for violating my civil stalking protection order. They just filed a civil suit demanding grandparents rights to companionship and visitation. My son is devastated, crying, scared and doesn't want to see them. His life since the divorce has been rough, with the trouble caused by his father, and 5 months ago we moved to a different county, and he started a new school and has established a great and loving relationship with my boyfriends parents, who have "adopted" him (not legally) and treat him like he is their biological grandchild. He's finally adjusted and happy. I Don't want my son to have anything to do with them, and he doesn't either. They live 2 hours from me. How likely are they to win?

 

[justalayman]

first, why does your son even know about the recent events? That is sign of a big problem. There is no reason your 11? year old son should have been made aware of this at this point.

but beyond that the chances of they winning anything, based only on your statement of the facts, are nil.

He's finally adjusted and happy. I Don't want my son to have anything to do with them, and he doesn't either.

yet you found it proper to alert your son to the recent events, even without enough information to console him that it would or would not be likely.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio
My ex husband and I divorced in January of 2014. His parents had very little relationship with my son (their paternal grandson) from birth to 5, and almost none from 5 til the time of the divorce, my son was almost 9 at the time of divorce and wanted us to get divorced and his dad to leave because of the way his dad treated us both. My son doesn't like them, is afraid of them, doesn't want anything to do with them. They've only made contact with him when it somehow benefitted them. They've threatened me, and spoken very badly of me in front of my son. They've made no effort to contact me or my son since the divorce, 18 months. The ex is in prison for violating my civil stalking protection order. They just filed a civil suit demanding grandparents rights to companionship and visitation. My son is devastated, crying, scared and doesn't want to see them. His life since the divorce has been rough, with the trouble caused by his father, and 5 months ago we moved to a different county, and he started a new school and has established a great and loving relationship with my boyfriends parents, who have "adopted" him (not legally) and treat him like he is their biological grandchild. He's finally adjusted and happy. I Don't want my son to have anything to do with them, and he doesn't either. They live 2 hours from me. How likely are they to win?

http://www.lsc.ohio.gov/membersonly/127grandparents.pdf

Do not make the mistake of trying to replace your son's father.

 

[OhioDivorcedMom]

He knows because he was with me when I was served and was curious. He's 10, and I've tried to keep him in the loop as far as basic knowledge, without any bashing of his father or fathers family. That was my decision as his mother, not to let him be blindsided, since there is already a court date and he has to attend and testify.

I am certainly not trying to replace his father, but he has a great relationship with my boyfriend, whom he calls by his first name, and my boyfriends family, all of whom treat him with more love and affection and attention than his father or fathers family ever did.

 

[justalayman]

He knows because he was with me when I was served and was curious. He's 10, and I've tried to keep him in the loop as far as basic knowledge, without any bashing of his father or fathers family. That was my decision as his mother, not to let him be blindsided,

what a poor excuse. You are the one blindsiding him since you could not tell him he had a valid concern or not. You stressed your child unnecessarily.

as to he being with you when served; sorry but parental discretion allows you to refuse to give your child all the details of why somebody handed his mother an envelope with little more to go with it.
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since there is already a court date and he has to attend and testify

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so HE was served with a subpoena? Without one, no, he is not required to attend let alone testify.

and to testifying:

If the court interviews any child concerning the child's wishes and concerns regarding those parenting time or visitation matters, the interview shall be conducted in chambers, and no person other than the child, the child's attorney, the judge, any necessary court personnel, and, in the judge's discretion, the attorney of each parent shall be permitted to be present in the chambers during the interview.

He can be interviewed by the judge at the judges discretion, in chambers. It is not testimony.

ya see, the court doesn't want to unnecessarily alarm the child nor stress them when not needed.

 

[OhioDivorcedMom]

I'm open to the statement that informing my son of the proceedings may not have been the right decision, I did tell him at the time that just because they filed, didn't mean they would win. But I may have been wrong in telling him about it. But that isn't the issue at hand- I'm just wanting to get an idea about their chances of getting visitation with my child, who doesn't want anything to do with them.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm open to the statement that informing my son of the proceedings may not have been the right decision, I did tell him at the time that just because they filed, didn't mean they would win. But I may have been wrong in telling him about it. But that isn't the issue at hand- I'm just wanting to get an idea about their chances of getting visitation with my child, who doesn't want anything to do with them.

I'm inclined to say the odds are not in their favour.

 

[justalayman]

I'm open to the statement that informing my son of the proceedings may not have been the right decision, I did tell him at the time that just because they filed, didn't mean they would win. But I may have been wrong in telling him about it. But that isn't the issue at hand- I'm just wanting to get an idea about their chances of getting visitation with my child, who doesn't want anything to do with them.

yes, it is an issue when you post this:

My son is devastated, crying, scared and doesn't want to see them. His life since the divorce has been rough, with the trouble caused by his father, and 5 months ago we moved to a different county, and he started a new school and has established a great and loving relationship with my boyfriends parents, who have "adopted" him (not legally) and treat him like he is their biological grandchild. He's finally adjusted and happy. I Don't want my son to have anything to do with them,

the thought of being forced to have visitation with the grandparents is claimed to be devastating with associated crying and fear. You had the control of whether your son was subjected to this unnecessarily yet you are the one that informed him. In effect, you caused the devastation, crying, and fear. Since you do not want your son devastated, crying and in fear, well, what can I say; you remove the cause of those issues.


while not seriously suggesting the child be removed from your custody, quit about what the grandparents may cause because you are guilty of it as well. Think about what your child is told and how he is told.

 

[ecmst12]

However, it would still be best if you got an attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

what a poor excuse. You are the one blindsiding him since you could not tell him he had a valid concern or not. You stressed your child unnecessarily.

as to he being with you when served; sorry but parental discretion allows you to refuse to give your child all the details of why somebody handed his mother an envelope with little more to go with it.
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so HE was served with a subpoena? Without one, no, he is not required to attend let alone testify.

and to testifying:


He can be interviewed by the judge at the judges discretion, in chambers. It is not testimony.

ya see, the court doesn't want to unnecessarily alarm the child nor stress them when not needed.

So, what is worse for an 11 year old child? To know ahead of time that that such a suit is pending (and that they might testify in chambers) or find out after the fact that they have to visit on a court ordered schedule with grandparents that they barely know?

This is not a parent vs parent situation...and not a situation where their wishes would or should be ignored.

This is NOT a "keep the child out of adult matters situation". Its a third party visitation case and it would be highly unfair to the child not to let them know what is going on.

 

[OhioDivorcedMom]

Thank you! I'm not a perfect parent and I've never been in a situation like this before, and I know if I were him I'd rather know than be kept in the dark. I'm not saying my decision was the right one but i am trying to do what's best for my child in our situation. Id rather him be able to give it some thought, ask questions, etc before the hearing.

But I would please like to keep it on topic... And get legal advice on wether or not they stand a chance. Without going into too much detail, these are NOT good people!!

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you! I'm not a perfect parent and I've never been in a situation like this before, and I know if I were him I'd rather know than be kept in the dark. I'm not saying my decision was the right one but i am trying to do what's best for my child in our situation. Id rather him be able to give it some thought, ask questions, etc before the hearing.

But I would please like to keep it on topic... And get legal advice on wether or not they stand a chance. Without going into too much detail, these are NOT good people!!

I still don't think the odds are in their favour.

 

[justalayman]

So, what is worse for an 11 year old child? To know ahead of time that that such a suit is pending (and that they might testify in chambers) or find out after the fact that they have to visit on a court ordered schedule with grandparents that they barely know?

This is not a parent vs parent situation...and not a situation where their wishes would or should be ignored.

This is NOT a "keep the child out of adult matters situation". Its a third party visitation case and it would be highly unfair to the child not to let them know what is going on.

Yes, this is keep an 11 year old out of an adult situation at least as much as possible. There are ways to address this with a child, if the need arises that are not going to put the fear of God into the child. Especially since the op had no idea whether the g parents might be successful op should have not explained anything to the child. Op cannot reassure child had no reason to fear or they had serious reason. How does the parent explain anything if they don't know?

 

[justalayman]

Thank you! I'm not a perfect parent and I've never been in a situation like this before, and I know if I were him I'd rather know than be kept in the dark. I'm not saying my decision was the right one but i am trying to do what's best for my child in our situation. Id rather him be able to give it some thought, ask questions, etc before the hearing.

But I would please like to keep it on topic... And get legal advice on wether or not they stand a chance. Without going into too much detail, these are NOT good people!!

As I said before; taking your statements at face value, they have a poor chance of obtaining visitation rights b

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you! I'm not a perfect parent and I've never been in a situation like this before, and I know if I were him I'd rather know than be kept in the dark. I'm not saying my decision was the right one but i am trying to do what's best for my child in our situation. Id rather him be able to give it some thought, ask questions, etc before the hearing.

But I would please like to keep it on topic... And get legal advice on wether or not they stand a chance. Without going into too much detail, these are NOT good people!!

The odds are not in their favor at all since they have no established relationship with the child. However you will be pressured by the grandparents, the judge and maybe even your own attorney to come to a mediated agreement. Refuse to negotiate any kind of agreement and make the judge hear the case on its merits.

A GPV suit is not supposed to be about the grandparents, its supposed to be about the child. If the child wants nothing to do with them, and is old enough to express his opinion, that should factor in heavily.