Grandparents wants help due to abusive daughter

[igor91150]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii.

Hi everyone, let me tell you my story. I have 5 grandkids from my youngest daughter. She is divorced for the 4th time, just recently. She tells her kids that this is her time to live life. So she make her oldest son who is now 14 take care of his 3 younger siblings. He has to change the babies diapers everytime. He has to take to 2 younger brothers to the bathroom and wipe their butt everytime. He has to watch time everytime when they're in the store and if 1 is missing he gets the blame. When he comes home after school, he has to wash the dishes before he goes to football practice. These are the dishes from breakfast and lunch. He has to bathe all 3 younger siblings and dress them. She always finds a reason for him not to play sports. My granddaughter is 11 years old and has to vacuum and wash the clothes everyday. And at times helps out with the young kids. My daughter is constantly on Facebook and her cell phone. She took away my grandson's laptop, (he bought this with his own saved up money) because her desktop is broken. She told "I'm your mother and this is my house, so I don't care. Please help me. I need to know if it's okay what she does, and what can Ido to get my grandkis. Thank you, Al.

 

[TheGeekess]

It is perfectly acceptable for children to do chores. Why should they be 'speshul' snowflakes with no responsibility?

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii.

Hi everyone, let me tell you my story. I have 5 grandkids from my youngest daughter. She is divorced for the 4th time, just recently. She tells her kids that this is her time to live life. So she make her oldest son who is now 14 take care of his 3 younger siblings. He has to change the babies diapers everytime. He has to take to 2 younger brothers to the bathroom and wipe their butt everytime. He has to watch time everytime when they're in the store and if 1 is missing he gets the blame. When he comes home after school, he has to wash the dishes before he goes to football practice. These are the dishes from breakfast and lunch. He has to bathe all 3 younger siblings and dress them. She always finds a reason for him not to play sports. My granddaughter is 11 years old and has to vacuum and wash the clothes everyday. And at times helps out with the young kids. My daughter is constantly on Facebook and her cell phone. She took away my grandson's laptop, (he bought this with his own saved up money) because her desktop is broken. She told "I'm your mother and this is my house, so I don't care. Please help me. I need to know if it's okay what she does, and what can Ido to get my grandkis. Thank you, Al.

Responsibility builds character. Nothing you posted warrants you "getting your grandkids."

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii.

Hi everyone, let me tell you my story. I have 5 grandkids from my youngest daughter. She is divorced for the 4th time, just recently. She tells her kids that this is her time to live life. So she make her oldest son who is now 14 take care of his 3 younger siblings. He has to change the babies diapers everytime. He has to take to 2 younger brothers to the bathroom and wipe their butt everytime. He has to watch time everytime when they're in the store and if 1 is missing he gets the blame. When he comes home after school, he has to wash the dishes before he goes to football practice. These are the dishes from breakfast and lunch. He has to bathe all 3 younger siblings and dress them. She always finds a reason for him not to play sports. My granddaughter is 11 years old and has to vacuum and wash the clothes everyday. And at times helps out with the young kids. My daughter is constantly on Facebook and her cell phone. She took away my grandson's laptop, (he bought this with his own saved up money) because her desktop is broken. She told "I'm your mother and this is my house, so I don't care. Please help me. I need to know if it's okay what she does, and what can Ido to get my grandkis. Thank you, Al.

Al, I am 53 years old and the oldest of 4 children. Growing up my best friend was one of 8 children and I was their honorary 9th.

I can tell you right now that you are NOT going to have any chance of getting custody of your grandchildren based on the fact that the oldest two have serious "chores"...or based on the fact that mom has appropriated the oldest's laptop.

It doesn't work that way. Unless your grandchildren are not adequately housed, clothed and fed, you have nothing, and the legal definition of adequately housed, clothed and fed is likely different than your standards,

 

[SESmama]

Think of it this way, these kids will most likely never be the type that the public funds have to take care of.

 

[dannyt]

stay out of it

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii.

Hi everyone, let me tell you my story. I have 5 grandkids from my youngest daughter. She is divorced for the 4th time, just recently. She tells her kids that this is her time to live life. So she make her oldest son who is now 14 take care of his 3 younger siblings. He has to change the babies diapers everytime. He has to take to 2 younger brothers to the bathroom and wipe their butt everytime. He has to watch time everytime when they're in the store and if 1 is missing he gets the blame. When he comes home after school, he has to wash the dishes before he goes to football practice. These are the dishes from breakfast and lunch. He has to bathe all 3 younger siblings and dress them. She always finds a reason for him not to play sports. My granddaughter is 11 years old and has to vacuum and wash the clothes everyday. And at times helps out with the young kids. My daughter is constantly on Facebook and her cell phone. She took away my grandson's laptop, (he bought this with his own saved up money) because her desktop is broken. She told "I'm your mother and this is my house, so I don't care. Please help me. I need to know if it's okay what she does, and what can Ido to get my grandkis. Thank you, Al.

and btw, dad has more rights to custody then you do. this doesnt concern you in the least. mom has the right to raise HER kids as she sees fits, without any interference from you or anyone else.whatever she says goes, and you have no say in the matter at all.

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Hawaii.

Hi everyone, let me tell you my story. I have 5 grandkids from my youngest daughter. She is divorced for the 4th time, just recently. She tells her kids that this is her time to live life.

So it sounds like she is not the most involved parent, but bad parenting is not illegal.

So she make her oldest son who is now 14 take care of his 3 younger siblings.

Not illegal. Character building.

He has to change the babies diapers everytime.

Sooo, let me guess, the kids sit in their dirty/wet diapers ALL DAY, while 14yr old is at school? That would be neglect, but my guess is that that is not the case.
And there's nothing wrong with expecting a 14-year old to change diapers.

He has to take to 2 younger brothers to the bathroom and wipe their butt everytime.

Again, not illegal. Older siblings are often expected to help care for younger ones ALL THE TIME.

He has to watch time everytime when they're in the store and if 1 is missing he gets the blame.

So, while mom is shopping, she expects the older kids to help look out for the younger ones--that's Sibling Responsibility 101--right up there with "No one better lay a hand on my little brother--If any one gets to torture him, it better be me!"

When he comes home after school, he has to wash the dishes before he goes to football practice. These are the dishes from breakfast and lunch.

Ooooh, chores--again, not the end of the world.

He has to bathe all 3 younger siblings and dress them.

All the time? Again--I'm doubtful.

She always finds a reason for him not to play sports.

Sounds like he plays football.

My granddaughter is 11 years old and has to vacuum and wash the clothes everyday. And at times helps out with the young kids.

My 10 year old is expected to do dishes and two loads of laundry every day. And clean her room. And pick up after her dog. And do her home work before she can go to dance class. Am I abusive?

My daughter is constantly on Facebook and her cell phone. She took away my grandson's laptop, (he bought this with his own saved up money) because her desktop is broken. She told "I'm your mother and this is my house, so I don't care.

Again, bad parenting--not illegal.

Please help me. I need to know if it's okay what she does, and what can Ido to get my grandkis. Thank you, Al.

Nothing she is doing is illegal. You don't have a legal leg to stand on. Of course, if you are so concerned, why not offer to help mom out with the kids to give the older two a break?

If you attempt legal action against Mom, it's practically a guarantee that you will never see those kids again.

 

[SESmama]

So she make her oldest son who is now 14 take care of his 3 younger siblings. He has to change the babies diapers everytime. He has to take to 2 younger brothers to the bathroom and wipe their butt everytime.

This may actually help prevent him from being one of those unmarried young fathers. I had to change diapers for younger siblings at 14 yo and I have to tell you it definately made the difference when it came to sex education!