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Help, manipulative mother in law

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LittleMiss

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Hi there So im married to my husband the father to all three kids ages 6,2 and 2 months. We have never gotten along and husband just puts up with her cause she is his mother. Im worried that if my husband dies before her that she will sue for custody because ive told her if anythng ever happened to him that id move back home to az to be with my family with the kids but because she doesnt like my family she said she would sue me for custody so i cant take the kids with me if i move. Would she be able to? They have never lived with her without me and my husband. She has a very unhealthy relationship with the kids. She is obsessed with them and thinks she can have them whenever she wants to. She doesnt obey the rules we set for them. I love my kids and cant lose them plz help me.
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Hi there So im married to my husband the father to all three kids ages 6,2 and 2 months. We have never gotten along and husband just puts up with her cause she is his mother. Im worried that if my husband dies before her that she will sue for custody because ive told her if anythng ever happened to him that id move back home to az to be with my family with the kids but because she doesnt like my family she said she would sue me for custody so i cant take the kids with me if i move. Would she be able to? They have never lived with her without me and my husband. She has a very unhealthy relationship with the kids. She is obsessed with them and thinks she can have them whenever she wants to. She doesnt obey the rules we set for them. I love my kids and cant lose them plz help me.
Hang on for LdiJ to respond but based upon what you've said here, she'd have NO chance whatsoever of getting custody should anything happen to Dad.

Here's my advice:

Stop talking about this with your mother-in-law. Period. Stop it. You have absolutely no reason to discuss anything with her, let alone something which she'll obviously find antagonistic. If you're all still living with her, you really need to find your own place and get out of there.

What does Dad think about all of this though?
 

LittleMiss

Junior Member
Hang on for LdiJ to respond but based upon what you've said here, she'd have NO chance whatsoever of getting custody should anything happen to Dad.

Here's my advice:

Stop talking about this with your mother-in-law. Period. Stop it. You have absolutely no reason to discuss anything with her, let alone something which she'll obviously find antagonistic. If you're all still living with her, you really need to find your own place and get out of there.

What does Dad think about all of this though?

Were living on our own now have been for years. We moved here to start over and get away from his mother but she moved here to be close to us. Hubby thinks shes obssesed about the kids to but he wont do anything. he hates my family as well so he doesnt want me to move back to az even after hes gone but i got him to say ok can go.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
What people "tell" each other while they are alive means nothing after they are dead.

When they are dead, the law applies.

Grandparents have little or no rights to their grandchildren.

She is blowing hot air to make you crazy. I agree with the admonition to stop talking to her on the subject.
 

Eekamouse

Senior Member
Were living on our own now have been for years. We moved here to start over and get away from his mother but she moved here to be close to us. Hubby thinks shes obssesed about the kids to but he wont do anything. he hates my family as well so he doesnt want me to move back to az even after hes gone but i got him to say ok can go.
Jeez, why are you even worrying about this? Is your husband sick and dying?
 

LittleMiss

Junior Member
Jeez, why are you even worrying about this? Is your husband sick and dying?
He has health issues and wont go see a doctor and he is going to get COPD soon because he wont quit smoking and the ER doctor told him if he doesnt stop by the time hes 40 hes gonna get it and he doesnt want to stop smoking plus he has had 3 heart attacks and hes only 29. He is always in pain and its been getting worse lately so yeah id say hes sick.
 

adjusterjack

Senior Member
Then I suggest you start squirreling away money in your own secret bank account in your own name so you have plenty of money to survive on when he dies.

If he has life insurance make sure you are listed as the beneficiary, take possession of the policy, keep it where only you can get to it, and make sure the premiums are paid.

If his has life insurance at work, find out if it can be converted without medical underwriting if he changes employment.

Start planning now for the eventuality of an early death because if he leaves you broke and you cannot adequately provide for your children, your mother-in-law might actually have a shot at getting custody.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

Hi there So im married to my husband the father to all three kids ages 6,2 and 2 months. We have never gotten along and husband just puts up with her cause she is his mother. Im worried that if my husband dies before her that she will sue for custody because ive told her if anythng ever happened to him that id move back home to az to be with my family with the kids but because she doesnt like my family she said she would sue me for custody so i cant take the kids with me if i move. Would she be able to? They have never lived with her without me and my husband. She has a very unhealthy relationship with the kids. She is obsessed with them and thinks she can have them whenever she wants to. She doesnt obey the rules we set for them. I love my kids and cant lose them plz help me.
No, she would have no standing to gain custody of your children. However, unfortunately she would have standing to ask for visitation rights regarding your children. Her odds of winning would not be strong, but she might convince a judge to order visitation based on you moving away to AZ.
 

NellieBly

Member
He has health issues and wont go see a doctor and he is going to get COPD soon because he wont quit smoking and the ER doctor told him if he doesnt stop by the time hes 40 hes gonna get it and he doesnt want to stop smoking plus he has had 3 heart attacks and hes only 29. He is always in pain and its been getting worse lately so yeah id say hes sick.
If you throw in drinking, he sounds like my old man. He was gone at 40.

As for your mother in law, you don't have to speak to her at all.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Once he's dead (sorry to be blunt) - your husband has no say over where you move. With your kids.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
He has health issues and wont go see a doctor and he is going to get COPD soon because he wont quit smoking and the ER doctor told him if he doesnt stop by the time hes 40 hes gonna get it and he doesnt want to stop smoking plus he has had 3 heart attacks and hes only 29. He is always in pain and its been getting worse lately so yeah id say hes sick.
The heart attacks are definitely something to worry about but all doctors are going to make statements like that about someone who smokes, and not everyone who smokes gets COPD, and not everyone who gets COPD gets it by aged 40.
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
The heart attacks are definitely something to worry about but all doctors are going to make statements like that about someone who smokes, and not everyone who smokes gets COPD, and not everyone who gets COPD gets it by aged 40.
This. ^^^

So. Much. This.
 

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