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  1. #1
    rickp46 is offline Junior Member
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    I take care of my grandmother, but my mother blows her money.

    I'm a 26 year old male who lives with his grandmother. I am currently unemployed looking for work. in the meantime I care for and look after my elderly grandmother. My mother lives about 5 miles away and barely comes to even say hello to her mother. Right now she has possession of all her finances, not in any legal way. My grandmother makes roughly 3500 dollars a months between SS and her late husbands military benefits. Her house, property, and one vehicle are all payed for with no leans or debt. Meaning she only pays her monthly bills with the money she receives. Her credit was solid and she had a credit line of 16000 dollars.She has had the same company of credit for 26 or so years with no outstanding debt, and always paid her credit card off within a month of using it.

    A couple of years ago she had a spell of falling down and was diagnosed with early stages of dementia. And although the process to make her daughter the power of attorney was mentioned, she never followed through and became legal guardian of my grandmother.

    I myself was going to school and working full time and suffered a bad accident that almost resulted in my right leg being amputated. All of which resulted in me having huge medical bills and an inability to find the type of work I was accustomed to(Construction). My grandmother needed some home care and she offered to help me out by giving me a place to live and feeding me while I recovered from my problems , in exchange of the care she needs.

    I bath her. I feed her. I clean her house. I maintain her appliances. I maintain her car. I enjoy every minute of it. She says she very happy with me and feels completely safe. Long story short, we help each other out tremendously.

    My mother is in charge of her medication and bills.

    The problems with all this are. My mother is a known drug addict and alcoholic. I can't say for sure , but my mother wont let me see her give her narcotic medication. She refuses to let me take control of it, and I have an awful feeling that she takes her medication. My mother is unemployed and lives off of my younger brothers late fathers check from SS, yet she drinks a six pack of beer a day and never seems to be out of anything she needs or wants. They constantly have brand new electronics and eat out at nice places.

    I have been powerless for a long time with her being in control of these areas. But recently I learned she had to close my grandmothers 26 year long credit line because it was maxed out. I have to call her constantly to get simple things in this house like food and toiletries. Dealing with her is the toughest thing I have ever had to go through because she is my blood mother who gave birth to me. nobody can control her spending habits or drug and alcohol abuse. She is very, very rude to my grandmother anytime she is around her. She has told me several times that that is her mother and all the hell she put her through entitles her to the money and control.

    I feel helpless and unable to move forward with my life because of the consequences of leaving this house. I feel she would not be taken care of and left to die. And I feel my mother would not only be ok with this, but perhaps prefer this. This is purely an opinion which i would not be able to prove. she is without conscience i think because of her addictions and rough past.


    I need to find out what, if any legal moves i can make here to ensure my grandmother isn't made to suffer for my mothers faults and abuse.

    not only do I feel this is wrong on a moral level, but i'm pretty certain a few things she does is illegal. A few of the illegal activities include forging her mothers names on checks, impersonating her mother over the phone to the credit card company, and stealing her narcotic medications. I am screamed at and verbally abused when i try to take any control over the medication or money.


    I need help. She has already ruined her mothers credit. All her savings have been wiped out. She now only lives off of what little my mother will spare out of my grandmothers OWN money.



    I am happy to answer any questions. I unfortunately have plenty of time on my hands being unemployed. I have all the time I need to do this proper.
  2. #2
    Gracie3787 is offline Senior Member
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    I couldn't find the info in your post:

    Does your Mother have POA, legal guardianship, or is she the representitive payee through social security?

    The answer to that is needed before we can help.
  3. #3
    rickp46 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie3787 View Post
    I couldn't find the info in your post:

    Does your Mother have POA, legal guardianship, or is she the representitive payee through social security?

    The answer to that is needed before we can help.
    I came into the picture shortly after my mother took charge of the finances. As far as I know she isn't legally in charge of anything. She told a judge that she would take care of everything and he released my Grandmother into her care. She refuses to let me see any of the paper work in fear of me taking over responsibility. I don't know the judges name or what he ruled. I assume he only allowed her to take care of her physically. We thought this whole time she was doing right, only to have past due bills and a maxed out credit card staring us in the face.

    To answer your question: I simply don't know exactly what she is. How can I find out? The credit card company doesn't recognize her as being in charge , she told me she impersonates my grandmother over the phone. That would lead me to believe she has no legal power of her finances.
  4. #4
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rickp46 View Post
    I came into the picture shortly after my mother took charge of the finances. As far as I know she isn't legally in charge of anything. She told a judge that she would take care of everything and he released my Grandmother into her care. She refuses to let me see any of the paper work in fear of me taking over responsibility. I don't know the judges name or what he ruled. I assume he only allowed her to take care of her physically. We thought this whole time she was doing right, only to have past due bills and a maxed out credit card staring us in the face.

    To answer your question: I simply don't know exactly what she is. How can I find out? The credit card company doesn't recognize her as being in charge , she told me she impersonates my grandmother over the phone. That would lead me to believe she has no legal power of her finances.
    you have the option of filing for legal guardianship to find out.

    two things can happen, either you are granted the guardianship, OR you actually find out mom has guardianship and will contest you.

    if you contest mom for the guardianship, you will need hardcore proof mom is not using the funds for grandmother's care.

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