Ok...I am going to add a few things here...and comment on some things that others have said.
First, while she is his biological mother, she is not his legal mother. Therefore she would never have any standing to sue for grandparent visitation rights herself.
I agree with everyone else that her son, if he is married to you or if he is not and has visitation/parenting time rights to his children he can take them around her whether you like it or not. It would also be very difficult to get a restraining order/protective order against her unless she actually does something to the child or to you when the child is present.
Everyone is also right about the fact that this is a problem that is never going to go away. Even if you abort this child if you plan on having any children with him in the future, the same problem is going to be present. You are not going to be safe unless or until he himself feels strongly that it would not be safe to have his mother around the child, or at least without him present and keeping himself basically between his mother and the child. Even if he feels that way she might be able to wear him down if she wants to be around the child(ren).
Therefore you really need to think seriously about not only whether or not you should be having this child, but about whether or not you should continue in this relationship. I understand that you love him and that the two of you have been together for almost your entire lives, but the odds of this problem going away for good are very slim.
Thanks for the help. I wondered about that with the adoptive process with her too so thanks.
I figured as much I suppose, usually something needs to happen first. I just worry to death over it. I have ZERO doubt in my mind something WILL happen to both me and my child around this woman. I personally stay away from her as much as I can as it is now. She had filed a RO against my boyfriend just weeks ago but decided to drop it... huge disappointment to me honestly, I was looking forward to at least a year with them legally told to stay away from each other.
But if something did happen, and no doubt it would, and there was proof of it would I be able to protect her/him with an order? I mean if my child was harmed by the grandmother I would have legal standing to say this woman can not be around my child again?
We have been planning to move out of state, not sure when but trying to work it out for the next few years. Might have to relocate for him wanting more schooling anyway. So I know that would help though not really solve the issue. But it would help us as a couple let alone with the child. The mother would be states away, hardly ever seen as he'd have to come out as she's not permitted to leave the state with probation unless she gets written consent and he knows she can't stay with us and our lives would be a lot different. But until relocation happens I have her 2 towns over.
I know it will have an issue with us and I've been trying to wrap my head around it. She's never realy been much in his life/our lives. He met her for the first time really in late 03 and spent a few years trying to get to know her but from early 06 until late last year he has nothing to do with her, never spoke to her, wouldn't talk to anyone who did. And in the years she was in our lives before she was mostly living far away or was in jail. So it hadn't been SO much of a problem until Aug of last year when she reentered our lives and moved in with him for a little while now lives 2 towns over and is around more. So it's been something out there been trying to figure out how much it's going to truly affect us. If push came to shove I would leave if I had to in order to protect myself from her and I know that. I just never want it to come to that. I KNOW he doesn't either but I know he also would just expect her to be fine..... until she isn't every time. And that's a whole other issue with us when it comes to his whole entire biological family. He let's them run him over and takes it toll on him and then me and just too much drama sometimes. But that's another story all together.
I just hate this whole situation, left to worry about my safety every time I am near this woman, now will have to about the child if I choose to have it which is a million times worse