Looking to block maternal grandparents from meddling

[LdiJ]

Then its going to come down to mom. If she continues to allow the grandparents to be childcare and taxis then it gives them more ability to control their end of the situation. Mom can "blow" up all she wants but if she really wanted them to butt out them she would figure out alternate means of care and transfer. Even if you brought it up in court and had provisions added to your orders to keep them from meddling, it would still be an issue as long as mom uses them the way she does. Honestly I see her being more of the problem than them. Time to kick mom in the rear.

I agree. However, dad can absolutely say no to any activities he disagrees with on his days, and if the grandparents pick up the child from school on one of dad's days because of one of those activities, dad can have MOM held in contempt for violating his parenting time. That might actually help mom have an "excuse" to stop the grandparents from doing that.

 

[Gail in Georgia]

Understand it from grandma and grandpa's viewpoint...

For two years, you and mom and junior lived with the grandparents (?rent free?) and then mom continued to do this for another 10 months...and continues to use her parents as free babysitters and a free taxi service for your son.

Is it unusual that they might assume they have a role in determining some of the choices they have made for him? No.

Should you two be grateful for what they have done for you?

Yep.

Is there a gracious way to make them understand they are overstepping their role?

Perhaps not since you accepted (and continue to accept) their services and implied that they were part of providing support to your son.

Gail

 

[RRevak]

Understand it from grandma and grandpa's viewpoint...

For two years, you and mom and junior lived with the grandparents (?rent free?) and then mom continued to do this for another 10 months...and continues to use her parents as free babysitters and a free taxi service for your son.

Is it unusual that they might assume they have a role in determining some of the choices they have made for him? No.

Should you two be grateful for what they have done for you?

Yep.

Is there a gracious way to make them understand they are overstepping their role?

Perhaps not since you accepted (and continue to accept) their services and implied that they were part of providing support to your son.

Gail

I disagree. Them living with the grandparents gives the grandparents no more rights or decision making abilities for the child than if the parents had roommates living with them. Saying the parents should be grateful is one thing but your post comes across as saying that grateful should also include accepting the grandparents making choices for the child without their consent which is wrong. They can be grateful while still telling the grandparents to butt out....and it sounds like they absolutely should tell the grandparents to butt out.

 

[LdiJ]

Understand it from grandma and grandpa's viewpoint...

For two years, you and mom and junior lived with the grandparents (?rent free?) and then mom continued to do this for another 10 months...and continues to use her parents as free babysitters and a free taxi service for your son.

Is it unusual that they might assume they have a role in determining some of the choices they have made for him? No.

Should you two be grateful for what they have done for you?

Yep.

Is there a gracious way to make them understand they are overstepping their role?

Perhaps not since you accepted (and continue to accept) their services and implied that they were part of providing support to your son.

Gail

My daughter and grandchild live with me and I would never dream of attempting to assert any decision making rights regarding my grandchildren. I am also appalled at the notion of any decent grandparent thinking that. I give input when asked to do so, that is it.

My daughter would have every right to be mad at me if I made plans for my grandchildren without her permission.

 

[RRevak]

My daughter and grandchild live with me and I would never dream of attempting to assert any decision making rights regarding my grandchildren. I am also appalled at the notion of any decent grandparent thinking that. I give input when asked to do so, that is it.

My daughter would have every right to be mad at me if I made plans for my grandchildren without her permission.

I lived with my parents for a while as well and they would never have dreamed of making decisions for my kids without consulting me first. Even though my oldest has done the same drama camp in my parents area for the last 4 years, my mother still called me to make sure I was ok with her signing kidling up again this year. That's just what respectful grandparents do. They respect their kids and their parenting.