My mom is taking care of her 4 grandkids, I need advice!

[Stressed!]

I live in CA. Right now my mother is taking care of my sister's 4 kids. My sister just doesnt seem to want any contact with her kids. She doesnt call, unless she needs something. She cant pay her bills, she owes us all money. She's just up to no good. She's unfit to take care of her own children. It's of course taking a toll on the kids. They get in trouble in school and sometimes behave very badly at home. OUR home that is, NOT their home which they have rooms and belongings there. Their own mom just makes excuses for not being able to pick them up and spend time with her. My other sister and I try to help out, but my mom is the one who buys them things they need for school, clothes, food, everything that a parent should be taking care of. But my mom also works full time, so does my other sister, and I do also but my schedule is way more flexible. Unfortunately when the kids are in need of a ride to or from school, were forced to ask their mom. It's sad that we dont even want to ask her. If we do ask for help like that, we need to call way in advance or else she'll come up with some excuse for not being able to. It's been this way for many years, off and on, mostly "on". There is a major financial strain for my family because of the cost of my mom raising her 4 grandkids. There's so much burden on her and she needs help paying for everthing. Is there any kind of government help or anything for my mother that is having to raise her grandkids? She's being forced to look for a part time job when she already has a hectic full time job. Should she get custody of the kids or become guardian? And then that would probably be very expensive, so would she be able to get help with that too? I'm so frustrated. I just need some kind of help or information. I really can't understand how someone can just stand back and let their own family have to deal with everything.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Ohiogal]

She can ask the children's father to come pick them up or sue both mom and dad for custody and child support and then apply for aid for the grandchildren. This though is a voluntary situation she finds herself in. Your mother CHOSE to do this.

 

[Stressed!]

Yes, even she said that she played a role in how far things have got. We all allowed her to take advantage of our help. But it was when she was doing "better" and it seemed like things would change, but it always went bad again. But now we're all just so tired of it and enough is enough. I did forget to mention something about the dads....one is in jail, who knows where the other one is, and the other spends time with his son when he "finds time to". It's such a mess!

 

[Ohiogal]

Well grandma will have to serve ALL dads with custody. She needs an attorney.

 

[dawnfin]

Get them to pay for their kids!

I agree with theother poster...having a nasty divorce myself where the grandma sued us to make sure she had her right to see the kids...If these parents aren't willing to be responsible parents to pay or take care of their kids then fro the sake of the kids, sue the parents for custody...get court ordered child support so it comes out fo their paychecks. This will support so Grandma does not have to take a PT job, then the money can be used for food, clothing, counseling for the kids and daycare. Also document ALL - Every call made to pickup the kids and every response so you have a but case. Then you can request court ordered and superviosed visitation for the parents to they basically get smacked for abandoning their kid and with Gods grace they wake up & treat their kids as they should. Good luck Grandma!

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree with theother poster...having a nasty divorce myself where the grandma sued us to make sure she had her right to see the kids...If these parents aren't willing to be responsible parents to pay or take care of their kids then fro the sake of the kids, sue the parents for custody...get court ordered child support so it comes out fo their paychecks. This will support so Grandma does not have to take a PT job, then the money can be used for food, clothing, counseling for the kids and daycare. Also document ALL - Every call made to pickup the kids and every response so you have a but case. Then you can request court ordered and superviosed visitation for the parents to they basically get smacked for abandoning their kid and with Gods grace they wake up & treat their kids as they should. Good luck Grandma!

You are making various assumptions:
That all/any of the parents have paychecks that can be garnished;
That all of the parents know that their child/ren has been abandoned;
That all/any the parents will actually pay support;
That such support will cover all the costs of raising the child/ren or enough so that Grandma doesn't have to work more;
That all/any of of the children require daycare;
That the court will require supervised visitation;
That all/any of the parents will care if the court orders anything regarding their children.