Unusual situation

[LorineDJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

Have not seen our situation in anything yet, but other grandparents must have had to deal with this. Our 30 year old daughter has been rebellious and difficult since she was about 12 years old. Will not list her adventures, but they include all the usual, including a miscarriage at 15 (after a binge drinking night), a felony conviction in her 20's for embezzlement, and all the other usual things that occur. She decided Fathers' Day 2005 that unless we met certain criteria she would no longer speak to us anymore except in counseling and unless we did what she wanted we would not have contact with her children when she had them. Many hours of counseling and mediation later, we are no better off. Advice from friends and family was that she would grow out of this. She has not. She is single, 5 months pregnant, intentionally - a man agreed to be the 'sperm donor', but not a parent. We cannot turn our back on our grandchild, but do not want to start a legal process for visitation unless there is no other option, but suspect we will be having to make that decision. She has contact with her two younger siblings who both intend to have children, one is married and the other is marrying this year. I cannot imagine the sadness for this child when s/he discovers that the cousins have grandparents but s/he does not and the pain it will cost my daughter when she has to try to explain why she kept s/he from us. We need advice!

[TheGeekess]

If your daughter does not allow you to have a relationship with her child, then I doubt Oregon is going to force her to allow such.

109.119 Rights of person who establishes emotional ties creating child-parent relationship or ongoing personal relationship; presumption regarding legal parent; motion for intervention. (1) Except as otherwise provided in subsection (9) of this section, any person, including but not limited to a related or nonrelated foster parent, stepparent, grandparent or relative by blood or marriage, who has established emotional ties creating a child-parent relationship or an ongoing personal relationship with a child may petition or file a motion for intervention with the court having jurisdiction over the custody, placement or guardianship of that child, or if no such proceedings are pending, may petition the court for the county in which the child resides, for an order providing for relief under subsection (3) of this section.

(2)(a) In any proceeding under this section, there is a presumption that the legal parent acts in the best interest of the child.

(b) In an order granting relief under this section, the court shall include findings of fact supporting the rebuttal of the presumption described in paragraph (a) of this subsection.

(c) The presumption described in paragraph (a) of this subsection does not apply in a proceeding to modify an order granting relief under this section.

(3)(a) If the court determines that a child-parent relationship exists and if the court determines that the presumption described in subsection (2)(a) of this section has been rebutted by a preponderance of the evidence, the court shall grant custody, guardianship, right of visitation or other right to the person having the child-parent relationship, if to do so is in the best interest of the child. The court may determine temporary custody of the child or temporary visitation rights under this paragraph pending a final order.

(b) If the court determines that an ongoing personal relationship exists and if the court determines that the presumption described in subsection (2)(a) of this section has been rebutted by clear and convincing evidence, the court shall grant visitation or contact rights to the person having the ongoing personal relationship, if to do so is in the best interest of the child. The court may order temporary visitation or contact rights under this paragraph pending a final order.

(4)(a) In deciding whether the presumption described in subsection (2)(a) of this section has been rebutted and whether to award visitation or contact rights over the objection of the legal parent, the court may consider factors including, but not limited to, the following, which may be shown by the evidence:

(A) The petitioner or intervenor is or recently has been the child’s primary caretaker;

(B) Circumstances detrimental to the child exist if relief is denied;

(C) The legal parent has fostered, encouraged or consented to the relationship between the child and the petitioner or intervenor;

(D) Granting relief would not substantially interfere with the custodial relationship; or

(E) The legal parent has unreasonably denied or limited contact between the child and the petitioner or intervenor.

(b) In deciding whether the presumption described in subsection (2)(a) of this section has been rebutted and whether to award custody, guardianship or other rights over the objection of the legal parent, the court may consider factors including, but not limited to, the following, which may be shown by the evidence:

(A) The legal parent is unwilling or unable to care adequately for the child;

(B) The petitioner or intervenor is or recently has been the child’s primary caretaker;

(C) Circumstances detrimental to the child exist if relief is denied;

(D) The legal parent has fostered, encouraged or consented to the relationship between the child and the petitioner or intervenor; or

(E) The legal parent has unreasonably denied or limited contact between the child and the petitioner or intervenor.

(5) In addition to the other rights granted under this section, a stepparent with a child-parent relationship who is a party in a dissolution proceeding may petition the court having jurisdiction for custody or visitation under this section or may petition the court for the county in which the child resides for adoption of the child. The stepparent may also file for post-judgment modification of a judgment relating to child custody.

(6)(a) A motion for intervention filed under this section shall comply with ORCP 33 and state the grounds for relief under this section.

(b) Costs for the representation of an intervenor under this section may not be charged against funds appropriated for public defense services.

(7) In a proceeding under this section, the court may:

(a) Cause an investigation, examination or evaluation to be made under ORS 107.425 or may appoint an individual or a panel or may designate a program to assist the court in creating parenting plans or resolving disputes regarding parenting time and to assist the parties in creating and implementing parenting plans under ORS 107.425 (3).

(b) Assess against a party reasonable attorney fees and costs for the benefit of another party.

(8) When a petition or motion to intervene is filed under this section seeking guardianship or custody of a child who is a foreign national, the petitioner or intervenor shall serve a copy of the petition or motion on the consulate for the child’s country.

(9) This section does not apply to proceedings under ORS chapter 419B.

(10) As used in this section:

(a) “Child-parent relationship” means a relationship that exists or did exist, in whole or in part, within the six months preceding the filing of an action under this section, and in which relationship a person having physical custody of a child or residing in the same household as the child supplied, or otherwise made available to the child, food, clothing, shelter and incidental necessaries and provided the child with necessary care, education and discipline, and which relationship continued on a day-to-day basis, through interaction, companionship, interplay and mutuality, that fulfilled the child’s psychological needs for a parent as well as the child’s physical needs. However, a relationship between a child and a person who is the nonrelated foster parent of the child is not a child-parent relationship under this section unless the relationship continued over a period exceeding 12 months.

(b) “Circumstances detrimental to the child” includes but is not limited to circumstances that may cause psychological, emotional or physical harm to a child.

(c) “Grandparent” means the legal parent of the child’s legal parent.

(d) “Legal parent” means a parent as defined in ORS 419A.004 whose rights have not been terminated under ORS 419B.500 to 419B.524.

(e) “Ongoing personal relationship” means a relationship with substantial continuity for at least one year, through interaction, companionship, interplay and mutuality. [1985 c.516 §2; 1987 c.810 §1; 1993 c.372 §1; 1997 c.92 §1; 1997 c.479 §1; 1997 c.873 §20; 1999 c.569 §6; 2001 c.873 §§1,1a,1e; 2003 c.143 §§1,2; 2003 c.231 §§4,5; 2003 c.576 §§138,139]

[url=http://www.leg.state.or.us/ors/109.html]Chapter 109 — Parent and Child Rights and Relationships[/url]

[IsabellaSoriano]

binge drinking at the age of 15, is not cause for you to interfere with mom's constitutional rights to parent.

you have no on-going relationship with your daughter, so definitely no on-going relationship with the fetus. her body, her choice.

either work on your relationship with your daughter, or you can almost bet you'll never see your grandchild.

[mommyof4]

Many hours of counseling and mediation later, we are no better off.

Ahhh...but the therapy is not for YOU is it? Your daughter obviously recognizes she needs help and also recognizes, for whatever reason, that her relationship with her parents is toxic to her.

You have no rights or grounds to file for anything and I can guarantee you that if you DO decide to go ahead and push for 'rights', you will only succeed in pushing your daughter even farther away.

[VeronicaLodge]

and there is nothing unusual about this situation