What Should I do for this Situation?

[ldc]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

A little info about any legal stuff on mediation aggreement in case it matters.
I am not married, never been, have sole parental responsability for my daughter. Father currently nor has not had any visitation at all, on mediation aggreement it is open. Daughter is 2.5 years old.


I will give a lot of info and examples so you know that I am not being petty.

My problem is my mother. I have stopped letting her see my daughter because of the way she treats me and because of her actions. She has always been a massive liar and has been very selfish and never cared about her own children. She was very emotionally and mentally abusive towards me and had very low life men in her life (ie. drug addicts, alcoholics) while I was growing up. She has recently in the last 2 years (since my daughter was born) started lying to my family about me and has now gotten them all against me and not talking to me.

This recently got very bad during this past holiday whereas because of her lies our plans for the 4th were cancelled. She also while holding my daughter started cussing me out and saying very horrible things about me. I told her that her behaviour was inappropiate where she then started just act even more crazy and started pretty much doing the na na na na like a child would do if they were trying to ignore you. May I remind you that she is 60 years old.


Since then I have not spoken to her and told her she was not allowed to see my daughter. 2 days later she attempted to pick up my daughter from daycare (I had already told them she was no longer allowed because the carseat she has is unsafe - 11 years old and straps are so loose and cannot be tightened). Today she came over and proceeded to get nasty with me when I told her she could not see my daughter. She started being loud and and as usual making up lies about me saying these things purposely so my neighbors would hear her. She than yelled that she was going to "report me" and stormed off in her car beeping her horn over and over again as she left to make a scene.

I am not at all close to my neighbors but my mother has behaved like this numerous times and I am sure they all hate me and think the absolutely worst of me. I mean for someone's own mother to behave that way it must be the child's fault right? Would be how most would react.

The problem is this: my mother lies so much that pretty much everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. She will more than likely now track down my daughters father and become allies with him (he is a very vengeful person and has threatened time and time again to get custody of my daughter) or my mother will contact whatever authorities and claim I am unstable, hurting my child, you name it whatever it takes. This will cause an investagation which my daughter's father will find out about this in turn will cause massive problems for me. She also claimed she will get a lawyer (she has no money but I am sure she can lie her way into finding a way to get one).

I have absolutely no money for a lawyer and no credit cards either. I have no one to borrow money from nor anyone whom could help me in anyway shape or form (currently friendless). In the state of Florida you cannot get a lawyer for free for any type of custody or these circumstances.

I do not want any of this to get out of hand and trying to be a reasonable adult and talk these matters through with my mother is a no go. She is not reasonable nor has ever been. Dsyfunctional doesn't even describe my family it is too nice of a word. Which is another reason I do not want my mother in my daughter's life - I want to try and have a somewhat normal homelife and family for her and not the crazy one I had growing up.

I don't even know what I am asking I just desperately need advice on this matter and opinions.

Am I in the wrong for not wanting her in my daughter's life? I just don't feel it is appropiate for her to be in her life when she tells horrible lies to my daughter about me and just lies so much in general. She also refuses to follow any of my parenting rules.

Thank you and I am sorry that this post was so very long.

[SolaireSolstice]

I have absolutely no money for a lawyer and no credit cards either. I have no one to borrow money from nor anyone whom could help me in anyway shape or form (currently friendless). In the state of Florida you cannot get a lawyer for free for any type of custody or these circumstances.

Florida has a Legal Aid clinic:
[url=http://www.floridalegal.org/]Welcome to Florida Legal Services[/url]

They do custody/Family Law
[url=http://www.floridalawhelp.org/FL/StateSubTopics.cfm/County/%20/City/%20/demoMode/%3D%201/Language/1/State/FL/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/%20/LoggedIn/0/iTopicID/595/sTopicImage/familyjuvenile%2Egif/bAllState/0]LawHelp FAMILY & JUVENILE Subtopics[/url]

[ldc]

Originally Posted by SolaireSolstice

Florida has a Legal Aid clinic:
[url=http://www.floridalegal.org/]Welcome to Florida Legal Services[/url]

They do custody/Family Law
[url=http://www.floridalawhelp.org/FL/StateSubTopics.cfm/County/%20/City/%20/demoMode/%3D%201/Language/1/State/FL/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/%20/LoggedIn/0/iTopicID/595/sTopicImage/familyjuvenile%2Egif/bAllState/0]LawHelp FAMILY & JUVENILE Subtopics[/url]

The legal aid clinic will only help you fill out paperwork they will not represent you in court. I know how to fill out paperworksince when I did have a lawyer I had already had it filled out prior to getting him. I also believe they charge you a nominal fee which I could just go in the phonebook and find a lawyer who will give me a free consulation. I do not want to get a lawyer or go to court. I am looking for other suggestions or advice from someone who has been there or from a lawyer who has handled a similar case.

I have already called every number out there and asked around back when I first went to court (2 years ago). The area I live in has no free legal representation for these matters. They do provide legal aid for other matters (immigration to name one).

Also here is info from the above website (I am poor but not that poor):
"The client eligibility standard for legal assistance providers in Florida is 125 % of the federal poverty level."

I did the math for that above 2 years ago I don't remember the exact figures but let's just say you would have to be homeless and have zero dollars to your name for sometime. Off hand can not remember what poverty level is for Florida but again this is not an option for me. I alread looked into all of this 2 years ago and a year before that when I found out I was first pregnant.

Again I cannot get a lawyer for free which is why I am on here trying to get legal advice.

Thanks.

FYI - If this sounded snotty it was not meant to!!! This just happened today and I am a nervous wreck from it!! So if I come off sounding harsh or something just keep that in mind. Thanks!!

[Rushia]

You are in FL and FL has declared their gpv statutes unconstitutional. Gramma can attempt to sue you but she won't get anywhere. Dad can try to get visitation. Unless you are unfit you have status quo on your side. Was he declared the LEGAL father of your child?

[ldc]

Originally Posted by Rushia

You are in FL and FL has declared their gpv statutes unconstitutional. Gramma can attempt to sue you but she won't get anywhere. Dad can try to get visitation. Unless you are unfit you have status quo on your side. Was he declared the LEGAL father of your child?

Hello,
Thank you for your response. Yes, he is legally the biological father. We had a paternity test (not needed since he was the only one but wanted it official) and the state accepted him signing the paperwork for paternity and the test. Our court documents state that visitation is open yet he has never asked/tried to see her.

I am just scared that with all her lying that people will believe her. She has lied and gotten away with it before with State Officials so I would not put it past her to succeed in it once again. Especially, if she would have other people backing up her stories.

Thanks!

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by ldc

Hello,
Thank you for your response. Yes, he is legally the biological father. We had a paternity test (not needed since he was the only one but wanted it official) and the state accepted him signing the paperwork for paternity and the test. Our court documents state that visitation is open yet he has never asked/tried to see her.

I am just scared that with all her lying that people will believe her. She has lied and gotten away with it before with State Officials so I would not put it past her to succeed in it once again. Especially, if she would have other people backing up her stories.

Thanks!

If you are living a clean life then even if she calls CPS and they investigate, they will not find anything. If you are not living a clean life, then its time to make changes. Your only other option would be to move away somewhere where she cannot find you.

[janM]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

Your only other option would be to move away somewhere where she cannot find you.

If she did this, wouldn't she have to inform dad/court?

[ldc]

Originally Posted by janM

If she did this, wouldn't she have to inform dad/court?

Yes, at least in the state of Florida I would have to get his consent and the state's consent. So that is a no go for me.

Also I do not have the money to move but would love to since it would indeed settle this matter once and for all. I am sure it would be difficult for her to try and prove things if we lived in another state. Or at least it would be harder I would preassume.

[LdiJ]

Originally Posted by ldc

Yes, at least in the state of Florida I would have to get his consent and the state's consent. So that is a no go for me.

Also I do not have the money to move but would love to since it would indeed settle this matter once and for all. I am sure it would be difficult for her to try and prove things if we lived in another state. Or at least it would be harder I would preassume.

I didn't mean move to another state. I meant move so that she didn't have your address and phone number. There is little she can do to you if she doesn't know where you live.

As long as dad can still reach you if he finally decides he wants visitation (email or cell number), you would have little to worry about on that side.

[ldc]

Originally Posted by LdiJ

I didn't mean move to another state. I meant move so that she didn't have your address and phone number. There is little she can do to you if she doesn't know where you live.

As long as dad can still reach you if he finally decides he wants visitation (email or cell number), you would have little to worry about on that side.

Unfortuntately, at this point it will take me close to a year and half if not more to come up with the money to move anywhere even in the same city. Or else I would in a heartbeat!

I already and have not for close to a month have not answered her calls and have it so no one can leave any messages. I do not want to change my phone number since that means I would have to contact my child's father and let him know and that would just give him an opporntunity to be a jerk which I would rather not deal with at this moment (whether it was email or mail form).