Superior had a relationship w/ me and fired me

[neveragain77]

What is the name of your state? New york state, nyc

I was having a sexual relationship w/ my boss that spanned one full year. He had sex w/ me on the job my 3rd day there. He has had sex w/ several employees. 1 year later we got into an argument about crossing the line btwn sex, relationship and work. he ended the relationship and fired me 20 mins later. I went back after he canned me, went to HR and told the owner (150-200 employees), and the owner yelled at me, and didn't fire my supervisor.

the firing came right after i called my girlfriend on the phone b/c i was upset about him saying the relationship was over (granted, it was only sexual), but then he gave these reasons for termination: "insubordination. not following policy and procedure and being on the phone, innappropriate behavior, unprofessional" what an a$$@#$%. Meanwhile, his behavior (sex on the job w/ subordinates is very inappropriate and unprofessional).

Sex descrimination? wrongful termination? (although maybe not as we were having sex at work). Retailiation? What do i need to do?

 

[Sockeye]

Yes, this this could be legally defined sexual harrassment.

Contact your local EEOC office and make the complaint. I suggest you prepare well for it by writing down the history of the realtionship and the resulting termination and conversation with the owner.

 

[neveragain77]

thanks.

I appreciate it and will take your advice.

 

[Beth3]

I don't know that this is sexual harrassment, sockeye. She had a consensual sexual relationship with him for a year. After the two of them got into an argument at work about their relationship, he ended it and then fired her.

There's no quid pro quo. There was no retaliation - he didn't fire her because she refused to have sex with him any further.

It seems to me this is just the natural outcome of deciding to have an affair with the boss with the boss is clearly a dog.

 

[You Are Guilty]

Gee, who would have thought that banging your boss on the third day of work wouldn't work out?

Sorry, no case here.

 

[neveragain77]

dumb move on my part

lol. yeah, dumb move on my part. but this guy is an expert on women. And re: sex harrassment, even though he completely sexualizes the work place, shows pics of his penis, puts hetch marks on rulers of the length, asks girls to see their t*ts, takes it out at work, has sex at work, etc, it's never unwanted. and how about this is an upscale spa! ay yi yi. He's been brought to HR on a number of occasions for yelling at women, threatens to fire them, curses at them, and no one ever does anything cuz the owner really likes him.

and yes, i must have bad taste, but actually, alot of women want to get w/ him, he's like a dr. jekyl/mr. hyde.

But what about this. the argument was that i was unhappy w/ the way things were going, so he said "no relationship then" and THEN fired me, isn't that like saying :no sex/no job?

 

[Beth3]

What can possibly be attractive about some guy who shows pictures of his privates around and let's it be know he'll sleep with anyone willing to do the deed is beyond me.

 

[You Are Guilty]

lol. yeah, dumb move on my part. but this guy is an expert on women. And re: sex harrassment, even though he completely sexualizes the work place, shows pics of his penis, puts hetch marks on rulers of the length, asks girls to see their t*ts, takes it out at work, has sex at work, etc, it's never unwanted. and how about this is an upscale spa! ay yi yi. He's been brought to HR on a number of occasions for yelling at women, threatens to fire them, curses at them, and no one ever does anything cuz the owner really likes him.

and yes, i must have bad taste, but actually, alot of women want to get w/ him, he's like a dr. jekyl/mr. hyde.

But what about this. the argument was that i was unhappy w/ the way things were going, so he said "no relationship then" and THEN fired me, isn't that like saying :no sex/no job?

So to get the timeline straight - you asked him to what, be exclusive? And in return, he said, OK, then you get no sex at all? Then he canned you? Over how much time are we talking here?

 

[neveragain77]

Was sexually involved w/ him from the 3rd day to one year later, intermittenly, maybe 18+ encounters. w/in 35 mins of his telling me we were no longer going to have any relationship, he fired me.

The event: Last thursday I said i felt like he 'dissed me the previous day when i asked for attention, and was being cold, what was up', he said, "we're at work" i said "we're always at work", he said: if you can't tell the difference btwn that (sex) and this (work).. me: "you want me to be able to seperate the exact point of sex ending...." "we're not going to have *this* talk are we?....then *no* relationship then!" Walks away.

we work together in a small space, he comes back acting very cold, i left the room to talk to my girlfriend on the phone as i was quite upset, i was on the phone for 26 mins, he comes over to me and asked me to tone it down, i did so, he asked me "did you give me a dirty look?" i said no. he said "are you asking to get fired?" i asked him if he was serious, he said: "you're fired, get out". and reported to HR that i was insubordinate and not following policy by being on the phone.

Timeline: Right after he ended it i posted on a msg board @ 12:51 i was upset b/c my "friend w/ benefits" just ended it. at 1:03 i finished posting b/c my friend returned my call. 26 mins later he said:"....You're fired" i said to my friend on the phone, "i think he just fired me" he called HR and brought me over to sign papers.

 

[The Occultist]

If a 26 minute personal call is against company policy, then there were grounds for termination.

 

[neveragain77]

If a 26 minute personal call is against company policy, then there were grounds for termination.

There might be a policy against using cells on company time, but we can use our break at any time and at my location, every single person is glued to their cell phone all day. I am not really a cell phone person, so i am rarely on a cell phone. but my state is an 'At will' emplyment state, so he can fire me for no reason at all. but since other people forge their time sheets, spend oodles of time on the phone, take naps during the work day, get into arguments w/ the boss, etc, it's clearly not the reason he fired me. but it's At will just the same, i suppose he could fire me for the color of my hair if he wanted. or even b/c i said that he was being cold to me'.

But what is up w/ writing in my reasons for termination "innappropriate behavior", this guy is having sex w/ me in the office! but i guess double standards are not illegal.

Can they tell people at work that they are not allowed to talk to me or they could lose their jobs? cuz that's what someone told me they're saying.

What is it that i might be looking for, no sex/no job? or is there anything else that could apply? what about retaliation? although that is a tort, do i have a case for that? i told HR he did not fire me for the phone, that he'd been getting it on w/ me, we had a disagreement regarding it, and that that was the real reason. The owner said "if that's true, you disgust me, i'm glad you're fired, and if it's true, then HE's fired". But my supervisor lied, and is not fired.

 

[JackieW999]

Seriously... what are you looking for? Money? A lawsuit? I'm sure there's a lawyer somewhere who can twist this into a case for you but I think you'd be better off chanelling your energies into finding another job in another town, keeping your pants up and staying off personal calls for 26 minutes at a time.

 

[neveragain77]

Seriously... what are you looking for? Money? A lawsuit? I'm sure there's a lawyer somewhere who can twist this into a case for you but I think you'd be better off chanelling your energies into finding another job in another town, keeping your pants up and staying off personal calls for 26 minutes at a time.

something a little more just. and if i *do* have any standing, i would like to file a claim. it won't get me far, but i want to file one. What he did was unfair.

 

[JackieW999]

You said he fired you because he was done with the relationship that you consented to for a year. It takes 2 to tango and you were willing. As it stands I don't think you have a strong case.

 

[neveragain77]

You said he fired you because he was done with the relationship that you consented to for a year. It takes 2 to tango and you were willing. As it stands I don't think you have a strong case.

k. and you know what is so sad, i knew several people from there, and they told no one to talk to me. and literally, NO ONE will talk to me. i didn't even SAY i'd sue, but i did tell HR it was unfair and should be corrected. now, somehow, they have people i've even done huge favours for, to not speak to me. how wierd is that. and it's a pretty big company. it's just wieeeeeerd. and really awful feeling.