Okay, you've talked to two attorneys, or two law firms, right? And they're both willing to take your case on a contingency basis? In other words, no money up front. One says "you should all stick together" as in a complaint based on age discrimination, (which would exclude only those under 40) but I hope this doesn't mean they'll take money from all of you, try to press this forward on age of all the group members, does it? The other one says they'll only pursue the case of the female employees, right? On a no pay till settled basis?
Personally, I don't see much here at all either way. I'd file something with the EEOC, and then go on with my life unless they give you a "right to sue" letter, either as a group of females or as a group of older workers. And I wouldn't hold my breath either way. If there was any strong possibility for a prevailing lawsuit, these law firms would be chomping at the bit to take your case on contingency, eager to follow it through.
I hope each of you has filed for unemployment insurance individually, which you should qualify for based on your separation due to restructuring, and I hope everyone is moving forward with a job search for a new job. You should all be working under the realization that if you have some sort of EEOC case that the EEOC investigates and recognizes, it will take literally years to work it out, so you are not going to get your old jobs back or a big monetary settlement anytime in the near future. (Even if there was a strong case here, which as I said, I am not seeing at all.)
I've watched thousands and thousands of people lose jobs due to restructuring or changes in the business. I've seen practically none of them that had any kind of valid age or sex discrimination suit when this happened. People hate change. They always feel they've been mistreated, "wrongfully discharged" or something like that when they lose a job through no fault of their own, particularly in a mass termination of this sort. But it is very very rare for this sort of thing to be determined to be based on either sex or age discrminiation by the EEOC.