Well, part of doing your homework is consulting with people who actually know what they are talking about. Someone who goes through one's own immigration process is NOT an immigration law expert. He/she may only know the law (if that) as it applies to their own situation.
If you grew up with that notion that marrying a US citizen solves all of one's problems, I am not sure in what bubble you've been living in or maybe you are just very young and a bit naive.
No one is judging you so you don't need to be defensive. But you come here for answers and you are getting the answers. You may not like the answers but they are what they are, based on the facts as you present them.
Admitted to practice in CA, AZ, IN and OH