Being call Fat at work by a Manager

[HeatherF08]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Florida


I work in a family owned Restaurant. The Manager is the owners Son and His Uncle works there too.. Everyday Iam there I get comments on my weight. An they are not nice ones. I have kept my mouth shut because Iam scared of losing my job. I honestly believe the own will not listen to me. This is a very tight family unit and I honestly believe they will fire me before fixing the problem. Also Iam not the only one that gets these comments. There is maybe 3 other girls I work with that get called fat or get commented on their weight. Please give advise on what we should do about this.. Again I honestly believe that if I say anything I do believe they will fire me before fixing the problem.

 

[las365]

Does the company have more than fifteen employees?

Are male employees criticized for being fat, or only females?

 

[I'mTheFather]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Florida


I work in a family owned Restaurant. The Manager is the owners Son and His Uncle works there too.. Everyday Iam there I get comments on my weight. An they are not nice ones. I have kept my mouth shut because Iam scared of losing my job. I honestly believe the own will not listen to me. This is a very tight family unit and I honestly believe they will fire me before fixing the problem. Also Iam not the only one that gets these comments. There is maybe 3 other girls I work with that get called fat or get commented on their weight. Please give advise on what we should do about this.. Again I honestly believe that if I say anything I do believe they will fire me before fixing the problem.

So, he sounds like a jerk. I would look for another job.

In the meantime, whenever he says something mean/derogatory, just smile and say 'Thank you!' Encourage all the other girls to do the same.

 

[HeatherF08]

Does the company have more than fifteen employees?

Are male employees criticized for being fat, or only females?

It only seems the woman are getting called this and I believe there is about 22 employees but Iam not a 100% on it.. I just counted on who I can remember who works there.

 

[HeatherF08]

So, he sounds like a jerk. I would look for another job.

In the meantime, whenever he says something mean/derogatory, just smile and say 'Thank you!' Encourage all the other girls to do the same.

I have been but Jobs are sooo hard to come by.. I have put in apps everywhere I can.. I just hate working there and really wish I can move on from this job.. Its to the point where I come home crying to my husband almost daily.

 

[Ohiogal]

If only the women are being treated this way it may be actionable as a sex discrimination claim because of the "fat" comments. There is caselaw out there that supports this. Google Florida weight discrimination.

 

[commentator]

My first suggestion is that you very professionally speak to a manager, the owner, or whomever you say you feel "would not understand." In other words, yes, there may be an element of discrimination involved here, and yes, you may have a complaint that you could take to the EEOC, but certainly you do not want the company owner to be able to say, "I had no idea there was a problem." Document exactly when you did this and exactly what was said.

If he has been given no idea that something was going on, and he has not been given any opportunity to fix the problem, by telling his sons and nephews and employees that they must stop this behavior then you are not going to have much of a discrimination case anyhow. You haven't given them an opportunity to change the situation.

Even if you quit your job and you applied for unemployment insurance and you told them how you were being called fat and ridiculed about your weight so that you went home crying every day, the first very logical question they would ask you is, "What did you do to try to resolve the problem before you gave up and quit the job?"

If you went to the boss and complained about people (even if it's them) ridiculing you about your weight, and they fired you for doing it, proceed straight to filing an unemployment claim, and it will very likely be approved. And then also file a complaint with EEOC.

 

[HeatherF08]

My first suggestion is that you very professionally speak to a manager, the owner, or whomever you say you feel "would not understand." In other words, yes, there may be an element of discrimination involved here, and yes, you may have a complaint that you could take to the EEOC, but certainly you do not want the company owner to be able to say, "I had no idea there was a problem." Document exactly when you did this and exactly what was said.

If he has been given no idea that something was going on, and he has not been given any opportunity to fix the problem, by telling his sons and nephews and employees that they must stop this behavior then you are not going to have much of a discrimination case anyhow. You haven't given them an opportunity to change the situation.

Even if you quit your job and you applied for unemployment insurance and you told them how you were being called fat and ridiculed about your weight so that you went home crying every day, the first very logical question they would ask you is, "What did you do to try to resolve the problem before you gave up and quit the job?"

If you went to the boss and complained about people (even if it's them) ridiculing you about your weight, and they fired you for doing it, proceed straight to filing an unemployment claim, and it will very likely be approved. And then also file a complaint with EEOC.

Thank you sooo much for your advise.. I have been asking friends I should do and their advise wasnt even half as good as yours.. Thank you very much..

 

[cbg]

FYI, weight is not a protected characteristic under Federal law, or under the law of any state except Michigan. The District of Columbia protects personal appearance (which includes but is not limited to weight) and a few isolated communities in CA have local laws. Unless you can show valid and supportable evidence that the sole reason for this treatment is that you are a woman, this isn't going to fly.

 

[commentator]

Agree, highly unlikely it will ever fly as an EEOC complaint. But she should keep it in mind, because the employer might worry about it and take it seriously if she complains to him about the verbal abuse and asks for it to end. A lot of employers don't know any more about EEOC than their employees, and it might be motivational for him to correct the situation if he was worried about a complaint.

 

[Beth3]

Part of the reason they're making these rude and nasty comments to you (besides the fact that they are world class jerks) and several others is because you just sit there and take it. The next time it happens, how about telling the jerk to "buzz off" if you get my drift. Then just walk away (do NOT get into an argument or debate.) Bullies often back down when the person they're bullying pushes back.

 

[davew128]

OP are you in fact fat?

 

[justalayman]

OP are you in fact fat?

I so wanted to ask that.

Don't get me wrong OP. I'm no skinny kid myself. If it is true you are over weight, sometimes you do have to accept reality. I have had many comments made to me. I realize several things:

1. I am overweight and do need to lose weight
2. the people saying it are inconsiderate jerks\
3. If I let people get to me because of this, I either need to get thicker skin or lose weight. So far, I have developed skin about an inch thick. The weight loss thing hasn't worked out so well.

 

[las365]

My first suggestion is that you very professionally speak to a manager, the owner, or whomever you say you feel "would not understand." In other words, yes, there may be an element of discrimination involved here, and yes, you may have a complaint that you could take to the EEOC, but certainly you do not want the company owner to be able to say, "I had no idea there was a problem." Document exactly when you did this and exactly what was said.

If he has been given no idea that something was going on, and he has not been given any opportunity to fix the problem, by telling his sons and nephews and employees that they must stop this behavior then you are not going to have much of a discrimination case anyhow. You haven't given them an opportunity to change the situation.

Even if you quit your job and you applied for unemployment insurance and you told them how you were being called fat and ridiculed about your weight so that you went home crying every day, the first very logical question they would ask you is, "What did you do to try to resolve the problem before you gave up and quit the job?"

If you went to the boss and complained about people (even if it's them) ridiculing you about your weight, and they fired you for doing it, proceed straight to filing an unemployment claim, and it will very likely be approved. And then also file a complaint with EEOC.

Put your complaint in writing. This is important. You need to be able to prove that you complained and simply having a conversation won't cut it.

 

[commentator]

I disagree with beginning in writing. If you can resolve this with an oral discussion with the employer, this is all that needs to happen. As it appears, there has been no direct communication with the employer at all about her feelings or the situation that is causing her problems. If she comes in and confronts him with a formal written complaint, he can say "All you would have needed to do was tell me," and she could be accused of overreaction or oversensitivity.

I also subscribe to the philosophy that you try to work out the negatives at the lowest level possible, so a word to her co workers would be a good place to start. "Do you realize that when you say that, it hurts my feelings? Did you mean to? Okay, thanks, I was just checking!" Then whatever their response, she can share with the employer that she asked them to stop and they didn't. Thus she finds it necessary to talk to him.

But good records of when you had these oral discussions with the co-workers and then with the employer, what date, what was said, is going to important to keep up with if the problem doesn't improve.

It is a good idea not to personalize your co worker's comments if you can possibly manage not to. I have noticed that in the last few years, kids on the playground who want to insult each other call each other "fatso" and "lardbutt!" even when it totally doesn't apply anymore than "dumbhead." It has become part of our culture to insult everyone about weight, you're either too fat or too skinny, and it's more general than ethnic slurs anymore.

I knew of a situation in a plant where candy was being made where people on the wrapping line would shout, "Hey lard......s, are you all eating that candy up there and holding up the line?" The heavy people on the candy making line took deep offense, the skinny people on the line just laughed at them.