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boyfriend's ex calling my job

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mstwc

Guest
What is the name of your state? Georgia

I have an issue that is now affecting my job. I am in a relationship with a divorced man. We have had some problems recently that resulted in me talking to the ex-wife. I had an emergency dealing with my mother which led to me calling looking for him. That phone call resulted in the ex-wife calling me because she thought they were at my house. That took place on March 15th. She has been calling me every since. I have also called her home to see how her daughter was doing. Her daughter became ill. She had to rush the child to the hospital on the day I returned from Miami. Since the child had been ill I did call and check on the child.The child and I had a friendly relationship. Actually the child loved me. The mother started calling me to allow the child to talk to me on the telephone, because the father at the time was upset with me and would not allow the child to talk to me. She did this up until April 11th which was last Friday. This all suddenly happened. She just made an entire 360 within 3 days.

On April 14th I sent an email to the child's teacher, which I am a teacher also in the same county. I explained to the teacher how I knew the child and to tell her hello. I knew the child's teacher name and school from talking with the little girl while she was in my home. The email was totally innocent. Nothing inappropriate as far as language and content is concerned. The mother has now called my Principal stating that I have invaded her privacy. She claims that I used other means to retrieve information regarding her child. However, the fact is that her child has spent time in my home. The mother has also called me on several occasions in the privacy of my home and on my personal cell phone. I did take notice that every time she talked to me she would gradually shift her conversation to talk about her ex-husband. I would not fill her in on the types of things she wanted to know. I am assuming that she is a little upset because I did not play along with her games. Also since she has found out that her ex and myself have been trying to work on our problems she appears to be more outraged then before when the ex-husband and myself we not doing so well.

I say all of this because she is now trying to incriminate and attack my integrity as well as my character at my place of employment because the simple email that I sent to her daughter. I need to know what I need or can do to protect myself since she is trying to make this an issue. I spoke with my Principal at work. She told me that I did not do anything against my county's policies because the little girl told me all of the information. I have no reason to pry into their business when she has called me on several occasions disclosing her business. Please advise me on how to handle this case of the ex. I realize that the mother has the control in the situation. I have cut off all ties with her and the child. What I what to know is what should I about her calling my job? What can I do?
 
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stephenk

Senior Member
since you are only a girlfriend of the child's father and have no legal relationship with the child, I suggest you terminate all contact with the child unless it is in the presence of the dad and/or the mom. You may mean well, but if mom doesnt want you participating in the child's life you have no choice but to comply with the mom's wishes.
 
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mstwc

Guest
I realize that part now. I guess it really upset me because she is trying to make it apear as though I never knew them. She has called my home on several ocassions to allow her daughter to talk to me. The last time she called me was on April 11th which was last Friday. That is why I am so upset that she has flipped this around as if she does not know me. Or as if her daughter has not had some type of relationship with me.
 

stephenk

Senior Member
you have to realize that mom can pull the plug on the relationship anytime she wants. Unfortunately, that is the drawback to dating a man with kids while he and ex still have issues.

By the way, what does your boyfriend have to say about the whole mess regarding his daughter?
 
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mstwc

Guest
My boyfriend was really upset about the entire situation. He said" I told you that the bitch is crazy". He said when she is on a role she just acts a fool. We both agreed that she does not want him to be happy in any situation.

I feel bad for him because she is trying to put him in a position where she wants him to basically choose between girlfriend and daughter. Instead of allowing him to have some type of peace.
and happiness.

I know that she can stop the relationship at any time between her child and me. All I want to know is what I can do regarding her calling my job, that is my concern.
 
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Beth3

Senior Member
Nothing. You used your work connections to go around the mother and your boyfriend to get a message to the child. The mother objected to that and called your school to complain.

You need to follow stephenk's advice. Just leave it alone and quit trying to contact the child or get messages to her. That poor kid is caught in the middle between two hostile parents and no matter how well-intentioned you may be, you are only making the situation worse. If you back off, hopefully the mother will too.
 
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allen03

Guest
Something isn't clear? How did the mother know about the e-mail? Just curious.
 

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