Desperate to know...

[Sunnyside]

What is the name of your state? Ohio
My new boss of 5 months (I'm female) gave me a bad review even though I gave her 110% effort in return. We got off to a bad start and we talked things through and I thought things were ok until my review. It was very negative and contradictory. She went to extremes to show that I was overpaid. (I could provide internet research to prove otherwise but didn't). The reference she used said that she too was overpaid so I feel confident that it would follow suit for all of us at the company but don't know for sure since she won't allow me to view this book.

She has been making references about my sleeping with another employee because he was nice to me. We (the man and I)are both married to others. Under the circumstances, I struggled to not show my feelings of dislike so I ignored it at first, then went along with it, then even gave her a taste of her own medicine. She continued. She even said things to me in front of other employees. I told her I didn't like it.

My question: I want to put in writing a formal letter asking her to refrain from using the verbage of myself and another employee's sleeping arrangements. I don't feel I have a relationship to salvage since her review of me was so poor. I believe this is the company's way of trying to get me to leave so they won't have to pay unemployment to me. What can I expect if I submit that letter and should I tell her verbally first that I am doing so? And I did go to HR when she said something to others but HR laughed it off. I have been told by others that sexual content has been in her conversations to them as well (mostly men where I work). She is a manager. Can they fire me if I hand that in? Do I have any recourse at all? Can upper management accuse me of handing it in now due to a poor review? Sure, I didn't want to jeopardize a possible raise but I was at conflict more with what it would do to our relationship. It suffers now due to the poor review and I have proven her wrong in several areas to myself. I don't know why she did this unless she used her positon to do it or her boss said to do it. I don't know. I have not been reprimanded for my work performance prior to this review.

Can you advise me??? I'm at my wit's end....thank you so much.

 

[Beth3]

"Under the circumstances, I struggled to not show my feelings of dislike so I ignored it at first, then went along with it, then even gave her a taste of her own medicine. " What do you mean. you first went along with it and then gave her a taste of her own medicine? I haven't a clue what you are referring to. It sounds as though you "responded" to her comments by making comments in a similar vein. If that's the case, you're going to find it difficult to support your contention that you were offended if you engaged in the same sort of behavior as your supervisor.

Yes, you can write a letter to management complaining about her behavior however nobody here can predict how your management will respond. Your post is a bit disjointed and short on specifics (such as what you mean above), so it's hard to advise you.

 

[Sunnyside]

Desperate to know....response

Thank you Beth...was trying to be brief....poor attempt..
Anyway, my struggle was about that she is my supervisor and do I say something is offensive when she has the "power" to make my life a hell or do I go along with it as in smile and say yea, we did have a good time and such, or to even saying to her what did she do with an employee the night before kind of talk...(mine was in private and not in front of others.) What my thinking was at the time was to ride it out. But since she is trying to destroy my efforts to find another job by such a poor review, I figure that she shouldn't be able to get away with that sort of talk. After all, as a supervisor, isn't she held at the utmost level of leading by example?
I am trying to cut my losses and move on but what kind of recommendation can I expect since she is trying to single handedly destroy me reputation as a good worker. I have documented proof (emails) that what she has reported is not true. But her boss won't even discuss it with me because his thinking is that I should go through her. (poor management in my opinion.)