Employer Harassment

[KevinNJ789]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

I work at a title insurance company, but through an employment agency. Management here is constantly inquiring about my life outside of work. Questions such as "what did you do last night", "where did you go", "why did you go there", "did you go alone", "what are you plans tonight and this weekend". Others close by can overhear. Makes me feel very uncomfortable under certain situations. Main reason I am looking for employment elsewhere. I am not alone in this "DAILY DRILLING". How illegal or unethical is this practice? Maybe I am the one that is making something out of nothing. Would like some feedback. Thanks!

 

[eerelations]

It is not illegal for employers to question their employees about their personal lives.

Harassment is only illegal if it is adverse behaviour based specifically on things like race, gender, religion, age and/or disability. Nothing in your post indicates that anything like this is happening to you.

 

[cbg]

It is neither illegal nor unethical; nor is it harassment. In some circles it is called, Making Polite Conversation.

IMO, you are the one who is making something out of nothing. If this is the worst thing going on in your life, consider yourself lucky.

 

[LdiJ]

It is neither illegal nor unethical; nor is it harassment. In some circles it is called, Making Polite Conversation.

IMO, you are the one who is making something out of nothing. If this is the worst thing going on in your life, consider yourself lucky.

I agree that its more likely an attempt at polite conversation or even friendly overtures. However, at the same time I can understand someone feeling that its overly personal. There ARE some people who go too far in an attempt to be friendly. Maybe the manager is just one of those who goes a bit too far in the friendliness bit.

 

[cbg]

None of which gives our poster any kind of legal recourse. He'll be extremely lucky if this is the worst thing he's ever going to have to deal with - he may as well learn now that the world is not always going to conform to his comfort level. There are things you just have to deal with. Social interaction with all kinds of people is one of them. This is not a comedy series - he's not Sheldon Cooper.

 

[commentator]

Point to be made is that the employer at this worksite is NOT the employer of this OP. The OP works for an agency, the agency has stationed him/her at this particular worksite.

You might request that they place you somewhere else, but it's not highly likely to happen as long as you are suiting the worksite client. And nothing about this type of discussion, prying, conversation is in any way illegal, unless it comes into a discussion of your sex life and drifts into sexual harassment or something of this type, some EEOC related issue.

And if this became the situation, the first thing you'd need to do is make your employer aware of the problem and give them an opportunity to resolve it. And your employer, of course is the employment agency, not the supervisor or co worker at your site of assignment who's asking all these uncomfortable questions and trying to get into your business what you consider too much.

I'd suggest you become a lot more "all business" and professional, be very quiet and reserved in the workplace and do not feel obligated to give long detailed answers to these nosy questions. Be vague, be very brief, be all about business and the most clueless should catch on to your discomfort with long personal discussions about your lift outside work. I learned long ago that just because someone asks you a rude or personal question doesn't mean you have to answer them. Smile, and walk away.

 

[cbg]

I do not recommend that you ask to be moved. If I were your "handler" at the agency you work for and you asked me to move you for this reason, I'd move you, all right. I'd move you right into the unemployment line.

I get that the manager is probably the one with the social interaction deficit. Heck, he might be Sheldon Cooper. (Sheldon is such a wonderfully dysfunctional character, he fits almost any example.) I've had co-workers or managers like that too - I have one I could kill periodically - almost daily. Heck, I have family members like that. But no harm is meant, it's not a legal or ethical issue, it's just someone who tries too hard and doesn't really get how to read people. If this is the first one you've met in life, be grateful. He won't be the last. They're a part of life; life happens, and there isn't always someone to call.