Falsely accused of Sexual Harassment by Non Employee

[jakehart800]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

 

[swalsh411]

Type your post but don't click preview. Preview eats posts.

(this bug is getting annoying)

 

[jakehart800]

My State is CA

 

[sandyclaus]

My State is CA

Ok. But you do realize that's not ALL we need, right?

Details on what happened, please. No details, no responses.

 

[jakehart800]

I met a college student who was extremely nice and friendly. She asked me to meet her for a dinner and guide her to a career and internship. I work at a large corporation at a high position and have mentored many students before in making them successful. We met for dinner over an evening and then she made some advances towards me which I completely did not appreciate. We had exchanged text messages of a very friendly nature and I thought she was fun to hang out with. I left her back home and we said good bye. I told her that I am not interested in a relationship with her but if she needed help and career growth then I will gladly help her.

After 5 months past the incident, I found out that her attorney has sent a letter to my employer saying that I made sexual advances towards her during the evening and that I am of a bad character. I am at loss to believe this. My company HR called me and I explained to them what happened. They already have the log of text messages and there is nothing sexual in the messages except general fun stuff around meeting up for dinner, partying, sight seeing etc. My HR lady thinks that since I am very successful this Non- Employee is trying to nail me. Even after I dropped her back, she texted me back to find out if I made it back in a very friendly manner. And we exchanged a couple more texts in the future and then lost touch.

This is a scary proposition and I am now scared to meet any women anytime. The HR person told me that our company attorney will respond back and say that I have done no wrong here after the investigation. And then we will see what they want next. She told me that this investigation is completely confidential and I should not let this impact my work performance. Here are my questions:

1) If I did anything wrong during that evening (as is being claimed) then why did she not report me immediately?
2) Why did she wait 4-5 mths before sending a letter via her attorney to my employer?
3) What is my employer’s liability on this incident since this happened outside of work? The HR person told me that they have to respond back since they received a letter from the other party’s attorney.
4) What other ways can I protect myself here?
5) I have never received any direct charges from this lady so am pretty perplexed at what she wants?

 

[jakehart800]

Ok. But you do realize that's not ALL we need, right?

Details on what happened, please. No details, no responses.

Sorry for some reason i did not realize that my post did not come right.

 

[justalayman]

1) If I did anything wrong during that evening (as is being claimed) then why did she not report me immediately?

you would have to ask her

2) Why did she wait 4-5 mths before sending a letter via her attorney to my employer?

you would have to ask her or her attorney

3) What is my employer’s liability on this incident since this happened outside of work? The HR person told me that they have to respond back since they received a letter from the other party’s attorney.

it sounds like you may have been doing this as an incidental part of your employment. If so, then your employer is required to deal with sexual harassment by their employees. If it had no association with your employment, then they are not obligated to do anything.

4) What other ways can I protect myself here?

find a cave on a deserted island and never leave it and never accept visitors.

Seriously, do not do things that may be seen as sexual harassment, especially if you are in an activity that can be seen as part of your employment. You cannot stop a crazy person from being crazy if that is what you are asking.

5) I have never received any direct charges from this lady so am pretty perplexed at what she wants?

well, apparently originally she wanted you. Now my guess is she still wants you....to suffer. We are back to the; you would have to ask her or her lawyer.

 

[jakehart800]

you would have to ask her

you would have to ask her or her attorney

it sounds like you may have been doing this as an incidental part of your employment. If so, then your employer is required to deal with sexual harassment by their employees. If it had no association with your employment, then they are not obligated to do anything.

find a cave on a deserted island and never leave it and never accept visitors.

Seriously, do not do things that may be seen as sexual harassment, especially if you are in an activity that can be seen as part of your employment. You cannot stop a crazy person from being crazy if that is what you are asking.

well, apparently originally she wanted you. Now my guess is she still wants you....to suffer. We are back to the; you would have to ask her or her lawyer.

Thanks for your prompt reply. Is it advisable to just wait and let our HR shut the matter down by responding to her attorney. This is what has been advised to me by my HR. Or shall i seek my own attorney to fight it out ? To make matters more complex, i am also in the middle of a job change situation,. I have an offer from another company to join them. But now I am not sure if that will complicate things even more for me ?

 

[cbg]

It can't hurt to consult with an attorney, but I don't think you need to take any further action yet. Your HR sounds as if they are supporting you, and taking the matter seriously.

Consult with an attorney, and then decide when you hear what he says.

 

[jakehart800]

It can't hurt to consult with an attorney, but I don't think you need to take any further action yet. Your HR sounds as if they are supporting you, and taking the matter seriously.

Consult with an attorney, and then decide when you hear what he says.

Thanks.. Yes i am trying to find a good attorney who can give me a consultation. Meanwhile I am completely co-operating with my HR on this. The only question I have now is around the new job offer. If I move now then would my company consider this as a sign of guilt ? I have already verbally committed to the other employer 2 weeks back and we were working on a start date.


Just in general how serious is this matter ? Since i am no legal expert i wanted to determine if this is just a revenge thing by the woman since maybe her ego took a hit. Because in her first letter she did not ask for any damages. But she wanted to highlight that my character was bad and trying to scare me. Eventually will she come back asking for money ? And if so why is she chasing my employer when she is not employed there ?

 

[cbg]

I cannot even imagine why your company would consider moving to be a sign of guilt.

Let's put it this way. It has the potential to be serious, but so far it isn't, since so far you not only have suffered no actual damages, but there does not appear to be any damage in your future since your employer believes you innocent of the charges.

 

[commentator]

In the future when you meet a woman who is over 18 and seems attractive and available, do not try to pick her up by using your excellent job with your excellent company and offering to be her mentor in the business world. This sounds creepy and as if you were an old coot hitting on younger women, trying to attract them by throwing around your company name and talking big about what you may be able to do for her. To certain types of predatory women, you sound like you're dying to be taken advantage of. It also sounds like you were being set up.

If nothing physical happened, and you have an email trail that demonstrates no inappropriate contact that would indicate you've been offering the favors of your company in exchange for the favors of this woman, I'd tell her go pound sand. Or in a more literal way, leave the company now, break off all contact with this woman, and let them deal with it. The more you hire your own attorney to come after her, continue to be so avidly involved, the more it sounds like you did, in some way, inappropriately involve your workplace in the "friendly" relationship.

If this woman would not based on relative age and relative attractiveness have wanted to have dinner with you otherwise, why would you volunteer to be her mentor and give her advice about business? Stick with women your own age who already have their career path established.

 

[swalsh411]

Next you are approached by a young attractive woman who wants you to "mentor" her, remember the famous words of Admiral Ackbar.

"It's a trap!"

 

[davew128]

In the future when you meet a woman who is over 18 and seems attractive and available, do not try to pick her up by using your excellent job with your excellent company and offering to be her mentor in the business world.

Lemon, we need to talk about your continuing inability to meet men of character. Being your mentor means providing guidance to you on how to dress, eat, and goodness sake pull the lettuce out of your hair. When you go back downstairs, tell Tracy he can keep the facial tattoos.