Is this grounds for sexual harassment allegations?

[ingrdude]

What is the name of your state? Ca

Is this grounds for sexual harassment allegations?

Recently I sent a female co-worker an email from my home email account and computer to her home email account and computer asking her to take some nude pictures of me. Along with the email I sent an attached picture of my male body piercing that I took. I asked her if she would do me a favor and take some pictures of my piercing since the picture I had taken myself was not that good. I did not make any sort of suggestions that she do anything other than take the pictures. I sent the picture as an attachment to the email. I did not embed the picture as part of the body of the email so it was not visible when the email was first opened. If she had no desire to take the pictures, or view the picture that I had sent, she did not have to open it.

Background

A few months prior to this she had made a statement that she was bi-sexual curious. This statement was made in the company of our other male coworkers. The conversation continued with the differences between women “making love” and men “having sex” and that is why she was having these feelings. Later that same day the two of us were taking about that same topic. I offered her some xxx videos of lesbian content. She accepted the offer and wanted me to bring her the tapes so that she could view them. She gave me her home phone number so I could call her about arranging a time to deliver the tapes and get directions to her house. That following Saturday morning I called her and asked her if she still wanted me to bring the tapes to her. She said yes and gave me directions to her house. When I got there she invited me into her house and we talked for 20 – 30 minutes about her desire to have sex with another woman and how this would be a good time in her life to do it because she was single and did not have to worry about being in a relationship with a man and how he would react to her having sex with another woman. I left the tapes there.

It was made clear by both parties that there was no attraction and that no relationship, emotional or physical, was desired or would develop. She later brought the videotapes back to me and said that she had watched them. She said that at that time be was putting bi-sexual curiosity on hold. Further conversations have taken place since this incident involving sexual matters, some of which she has either started or participated in.

Since the allegations have been made I have been trying to learn what constitutes sexual harassment. This is what I think I know.

First, the sexual act must be unwanted. Unwanted, to be no longer tolerated or desired by the accuser. With that situation that had happened earlier and the multiple discussions of a sexual nature she had expanded the boundaries of what is acceptable for sexual discussion. She never told me that she no longer desired to discuss any sexual related matter with me until she responded to my email. She said that she was not interested. At that point the conversation stopped. I didn’t even respond to her email.

Second, was this and isolated incident or severe in nature? Yes, this is the first and only time I have ever initiated a sexually related conversation with her. After I received the email from her that she was not interested, I did not try to persuade her or pursue the issue. Alone, this may appear to be severe in nature, but with her prior actions and conversations, what would normally be considered severe would be minimized by her establishing what she would consider an appropriate level of acceptable.

I am not her supervisor or have any influence on her promotion, evaluations, or job retention.

There was no mention or insinuation of sexual interaction.

She had established a pattern that the acceptance of reference to sexual content went far beyond what would normally be thought of to be discussed in a work environment. Here is a woman that…
Stated in front of more than a half of a dozen male co-workers that she was bi-sexual curious which then inspired an extremely graphic conversation relating to that topic.
Accepted an offer to receive x-rated videotapes.
Gave me her phone number so that I could contact her to deliver the tapes.
Gave me directions to her house
Invited me into her house and further discussed things of a sexual nature quite graphically and in detail
Allowed me to leave the tapes at her house
Watched the videos and returned them to me.
Continues to participate in sexually related conversations at work.

[BelizeBreeze]

Originally Posted by ingrdude

What is the name of your state? Ca

Is this grounds for sexual harassment allegations?

Recently I sent a female co-worker an email from my home email account and computer to her home email account and computer asking her to take some nude pictures of me. Along with the email I sent an attached picture of my male body piercing that I took. I asked her if she would do me a favor and take some pictures of my piercing since the picture I had taken myself was not that good. I did not make any sort of suggestions that she do anything other than take the pictures. I sent the picture as an attachment to the email. I did not embed the picture as part of the body of the email so it was not visible when the email was first opened. If she had no desire to take the pictures, or view the picture that I had sent, she did not have to open it.

Background

A few months prior to this she had made a statement that she was bi-sexual curious. This statement was made in the company of our other male coworkers. The conversation continued with the differences between women “making love” and men “having sex” and that is why she was having these feelings. Later that same day the two of us were taking about that same topic. I offered her some xxx videos of lesbian content. She accepted the offer and wanted me to bring her the tapes so that she could view them. She gave me her home phone number so I could call her about arranging a time to deliver the tapes and get directions to her house. That following Saturday morning I called her and asked her if she still wanted me to bring the tapes to her. She said yes and gave me directions to her house. When I got there she invited me into her house and we talked for 20 – 30 minutes about her desire to have sex with another woman and how this would be a good time in her life to do it because she was single and did not have to worry about being in a relationship with a man and how he would react to her having sex with another woman. I left the tapes there.

It was made clear by both parties that there was no attraction and that no relationship, emotional or physical, was desired or would develop. She later brought the videotapes back to me and said that she had watched them. She said that at that time be was putting bi-sexual curiosity on hold. Further conversations have taken place since this incident involving sexual matters, some of which she has either started or participated in.

Since the allegations have been made I have been trying to learn what constitutes sexual harassment. This is what I think I know.

First, the sexual act must be unwanted. Unwanted, to be no longer tolerated or desired by the accuser. With that situation that had happened earlier and the multiple discussions of a sexual nature she had expanded the boundaries of what is acceptable for sexual discussion. She never told me that she no longer desired to discuss any sexual related matter with me until she responded to my email. She said that she was not interested. At that point the conversation stopped. I didn’t even respond to her email.

Second, was this and isolated incident or severe in nature? Yes, this is the first and only time I have ever initiated a sexually related conversation with her. After I received the email from her that she was not interested, I did not try to persuade her or pursue the issue. Alone, this may appear to be severe in nature, but with her prior actions and conversations, what would normally be considered severe would be minimized by her establishing what she would consider an appropriate level of acceptable.

I am not her supervisor or have any influence on her promotion, evaluations, or job retention.

There was no mention or insinuation of sexual interaction.

She had established a pattern that the acceptance of reference to sexual content went far beyond what would normally be thought of to be discussed in a work environment. Here is a woman that…
Stated in front of more than a half of a dozen male co-workers that she was bi-sexual curious which then inspired an extremely graphic conversation relating to that topic.
Accepted an offer to receive x-rated videotapes.
Gave me her phone number so that I could contact her to deliver the tapes.
Gave me directions to her house
Invited me into her house and further discussed things of a sexual nature quite graphically and in detail
Allowed me to leave the tapes at her house
Watched the videos and returned them to me.
Continues to participate in sexually related conversations at work.

You have done a lot of dancing around mostly irrelevant information without anything that resembles a legal question of a specific fact or act.

Care to try again?

[cbg]

Is this grounds for sexual harassment allegations?

Yes. It is.

[ingrdude]

Originally Posted by cbg

Is this grounds for sexual harassment allegations?

Yes. It is.

When looking at the situation in its entirety, how can she file sexual harassment charges on me when she has taken acts and conversations to such extreme? When a co-worker stretches the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior, how do you find or know the when you have crossed the line into unacceptable or unwanted behavior unless she says something prior? Why is ok for her to play her game without any rules or limitation, but then suddenly add limits without notice?

[mlane58]

Just because she has previously played a hand in her comments and actions and now is offended, doesn't make you any less responsible for your actions.

Step up to the plate and take responisibilty. Learn that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. Leanr to think with the other head you have.

[cbg]

When looking at the situation in its entirety, how can she file sexual harassment charges on me when she has taken acts and conversations to such extreme?

Because the law says she can. She has an absolute right to complain about sexually related comments, conversations or actions that she finds objectionable.

When a co-worker stretches the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior, how do you find or know the when you have crossed the line into unacceptable or unwanted behavior unless she says something prior?

By not saying or doing anything that a reasonable person might take offense at.

Why is ok for her to play her game without any rules or limitation, but then suddenly add limits without notice?

No one said it was okay. Your question was, did your actions constitute grounds for a sexual harassment complaint, and the answer is, yes, it did. That doesn't mean I'm defending any actions of hers.

Here is a woman that…
Stated in front of more than a half of a dozen male co-workers that she was bi-sexual curious which then inspired an extremely graphic conversation relating to that topic.
Accepted an offer to receive x-rated videotapes.
Gave me her phone number so that I could contact her to deliver the tapes.
Gave me directions to her house
Invited me into her house and further discussed things of a sexual nature quite graphically and in detail
Allowed me to leave the tapes at her house
Watched the videos and returned them to me.
Continues to participate in sexually related conversations at work.

You are free to use any part of this in your own defense, such as it may be. However, none of it takes away her right under the law to complain about actions she finds objectionable.