Harassed by Security supervisor at work!

[o2dvine]

Slap on the wrist most likely......then God forbid I make a mistake, he'll be right on top of me

 

[LeeHarveyBlotto]

Slap on the wrist most likely......then God forbid I make a mistake, he'll be right on top of me

It sounds like a terribly run operation. Unfortunately, that's not illegal.

 

[cbg]

I'd like to present an opposing point of view, from an HR standpoint.

Yes, I get that the guy is annoying. I've dealt with annoying co-workers too. It can be a royal pain in the ass and you want to slug them. I get it.

However, employers do not like being asked to interfere in relationships between co-workers. Particularly if one of them is in a management position. Bosses and HR personnel do not appreciate being asked to make other people behave better. They tend to feel that unless one of them is behaving illegally, which is not the case here, grownup employees ought to manage their own relationships. It is not usually a good career move to go to the boss or HR and say, "Jack is annoying me - make him stop". It is usually a better move to either deal with the situation directly or ignore them.

 

[commentator]

Yes, I am sort of seeing this from your point of view too cbg. This sounds more to me like a personality conflict, a workplace bullying spat sort of situation that the employer couldn't fix anyway, since the other party isn't his employee.

If this OP were to quit his job and come in and file a claim for unemployment, and go through the whole nine yards of how this man has been making his life a living hell for THREE YEARS OR MORE, he would probably not be very likely at all to get approved for unemployment insurance while looking for another job. Because first of all, it can't be too awfully bad, can it, if you have put up with it with very little action for THREE YEARS?

And the first thing they'd ask is a lot of questions trying to determine if you have exhausted all reasonable alternatives to quitting before you quit the job. And a huge reasonable alternative to quitting the job is first of all, you let him know you do not appreciate what he is doing and that he should stop doing it. Personally. To his face. Then you inform your supervisor about the problem with the work conditions. ESPECIALLY, even if they've blown you off before, you go back in and bring it up again when others who are in your work venue are disturbed by the situation and are finding it hard to do their work because of the situation.

And if your supervisor is a wimp or is unsympathetic to you for some reason, when you have made it very clear to him, with documentation of exactly when you have had these conversations and what has been said in them, you GO OVER HIS HEAD. Who owns the darn place?

Then, of course, there's always the alternative of going to the employer of the person who is harassing you. It doesn't fly that "Oh, he'll just get a slap on the wrist and come back after me worse......boo hoo." Come on here, man up. If the situation is already so bad you are about to quit your job over it, how can he make it so much worse that you're afraid to try to fix it? That reasoning, particularly carried through for three years, just makes it sound like the situation hasn't been too bad, if it could get so much worse, it's just annoying to you and you'd like it to stop.

The thing is, you can rarely fix a bad workplace. If you need to find another job, you'll know it, and if this guy is not the only reason, then you need to do it.

Think of it this way. If this person dropped dead, just vanished from the work scene, would you then have the dream job? If so, open up and do everything you possibly can to fix this problem. Don't let this one person take you out of a job you otherwise enjoy.

The guy may just be a jealous jerk who wants to get you fired or persuade you to quit your job. There's nothing illegal about that. He's just being himself. Your employer is not obligated to provide you with a happy and trouble free workplace where everyone is nice to you. He may simply be a bully who has found that you are seriously bothered by his strutting and aggravating behavior and comments, and so he entertains himself by playing with you. The thing to do in this case is change your responses to his actions and comments. Obviously what you have been doing for three years isn't working.

But think long and carefully about it all. He is a huge downside to the job you have. Is it worth dealing with him? Or do you just need to walk away from the situation (probably without unemployment benefits) and find another job?

 

[o2dvine]

I see what your saying but I don't see how it would be a bad career move. Like I stated before, we are employed by different companies. He works for our customer but in a high level position. At a legal standpoint would this be defamation of character? He continues to bother my employer making things up and using half truths in an effort to get me in trouble or fired. Planting a seed of doubt that I'm incompetent or doing something wrong. And bc of his power position in his company, my company doesn't just blow off what he says and continues to investigate me even though my manager has backed me up. This guy is screwing with my livelihood and making me miserable while I've done nothing to warrant his attention. He apparently told an employee that he "just doesn't like me." I'm polite to this man, everyone else likes me and I do my job very well. From what I'm getting from everyone on this forum is to apparently just put up with it and let him keep firing shots at me dragging my name through the mud. I'm afraid my employer will have me transfered bc of this man. I've worked long and hard to get in my position and location. I even moved my family and I to be close to this location. It's seriously stressing me out and may eventually cause me to snap on him.

 

[eerelations]

The reason everyone here is telling you to "just put up with it" is because you don't have any legal recourse for what he's doing...because what he's doing is not illegal harassment. Workplace harassment is only illegal if it's based specifically on protected characteristics such as race, gender, religion, age and/or disability. I can't see anything in your posts that would indicate this guy is treating you this way for any of these reasons.

Now, if he's telling complete falsehoods to your boss and these falsehoods result in some negative employment action against you and you can prove that what he's said are deliberate falsehoods, not just mistakes or opinions, then you might have a valid civil case against him personally for defamation. But this would cost you a lot of money and would take a long time. And there will be no upfront guarantee that you'd win said civil case.

 

[LeeHarveyBlotto]

However, employers do not like being asked to interfere in relationships between co-workers. Particularly if one of them is in a management position. Bosses and HR personnel do not appreciate being asked to make other people behave better. They tend to feel that unless one of them is behaving illegally, which is not the case here, grownup employees ought to manage their own relationships. It is not usually a good career move to go to the boss or HR and say, "Jack is annoying me - make him stop". It is usually a better move to either deal with the situation directly or ignore them.

I agree with the idea that bosses don't want to mess with personnel issues. If one is talking about an executive peeing match or a manager to manger level conflict, I would agree to a greater extent that the parties should learn how to play together. However, I strongly believe a manager of the actual worker bees has the obligation to stand up for his people when they are being wronged. In fact, Lt. Blotto was specifically trained that the privates are far more important than his Captain, Colonel, or General (and fortunately got real-life confirmation that they actually meant it). Obviously, I don't know the dynamics of the business here, complicated by the fact that it's also a vendor relationship. Perhaps the OP's manager has done everything in his power to help resolve the conflict, or perhaps he's simply a wimp too weak to do the right thing.

In any event, I'm still not seeing a situation where any sort of legal action is the solution.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Please reread what cbg and commentator posted, because that's *not* what they said.

If this job is fantastic other than this dude, then keep doing your job. If he is harassing you, then complain to *his* superior. Take it on up the food chain.

How powerful can this guy be? Or is it just that he's been a security guard forever?

Polish off your resume and start applying elsewhere as a back up plan. Don't limit yourself to your current location.

Or rather than worrying about being *punished* with a transfer, *request* a transfer, in writing, stating your reason(s) explicitly. If you are actually performing a valuable function in the organization that cannot be easily replaced, this might give someone cause to pause and wonder at who is the real problem.

Finally, in you analysis of the situation, is there *any* merit in the complaints? For example, how long are these breaks you are taking? Do you present yourself in a way that might come across as too casual?

 

[o2dvine]

To not2cleverRed

The guy is pretty high up as head of security. It's a casino/racetrack. My company provides the betting machines and controls betting on racing. Most of my busy work is done within the first 4 hours of work until live racing begins. I start/stop betting, enter order of finish, run reports, find stolen vochers and control the money flow coming and going from around the world for each race. Not sure if you know anything about horse racing but there is 25mins between races. There is nothing to do in that time but wait. As per my boss, I am allowed to do as I please in that free time. Nothing crazy....I take a walkie with me just in case im needed, walk, check on things, have cigarette once every few races and short conversations with customers and employees that say hello. I've never had an issue or problem occur and stay aware of the time. This guy thinks I should never leave my room, not speak to the customers and gives any employee of the track crap if they talk to me. And I'm not being a distraction if that's what your thinking. These are quick 30sec moments in passing.
I am looking for new employment bc nothing will be done if I report him. It's just how it is. It's messed up that I have to change my life around and lose my job security just bc of this guy. And worry if when my current employer gets contacted by my new employer, they will be like.."He did a great job but there was a lot of unverified complaints and accusations."
I'm pretty laid back and don't let much bother me normally. As for the other statements saying I'm a whimp, boo hoo and man up.... I'm 6'4 260lbs, It's not an intimidation thing with this guy. I would love to destroy this guy outside of work but this is my first real job with a future. I've got a family now and i'm trying to go the correct route with this.

 

[o2dvine]

To not2cleverRed

The guy is pretty high up as head of security. It's a casino/racetrack. My company provides the betting machines and controls betting on racing. Most of my busy work is done within the first 4 hours of work until live racing begins. I start/stop betting, enter order of finish, run reports, find stolen vouchers and control the money flow coming and going from around the world for each race. Not sure if you know anything about horse racing but there is 25mins between races. There is nothing to do in that time but wait. As per my boss, I am allowed to do as I please in that free time. Nothing crazy....I take a walkie with me just in case im needed, walk, check on things, have cigarette once every few races and short conversations with customers and employees that say hello. I've never had an issue or problem occur and stay aware of the time. This guy thinks I should never leave my room, not speak to the customers and gives any employee of the track crap if they talk to me. And I'm not being a distraction if that's what your thinking. These are quick 30sec moments in passing.
I am looking for new employment bc nothing will be done if I report him. It's just how it is. It's messed up that I have to change my life around and lose my job security just bc of this guy. And worry if when my current employer gets contacted by my new employer, they will be like.."He did a great job but there was a lot of unverified complaints and accusations."
I'm pretty laid back and don't let much bother me normally. As for the other statements saying I'm a whimp, boo hoo and man up.... I'm 6'4 260lbs, It's not an intimidation thing with this guy. I would love to destroy this guy outside of work but this is my first real job with a future. I've got a family now and i'm trying to go the correct route with this.

 

[commentator]

You may be six four and two forty, but that's not the real issue. The issue is that you are letting this person bully you and intimidate you on a professional level, NOT a playground shoving match. And he is WINNING. Three years, but what it comes down to is that he has admitted he doesn't like you. He has filed repeated complaints and said to your supervisors that you aren't doing what you are supposed to do. You have been backed up by them. Why are you so fearful of what he can do to you? Do you really think that they're going to suddenly write you up, tell you to hit the road, etc.? They have a right to do it, legally, there's nobody you could sue. but you know what, it wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen to you. At least you'd have unemployment benefits while you were looking for another job. You'd be out of work through no fault of your own. You have tried to do your job to the best of your abilities. You have complained about the random valueless complaints he has made to your supervisors and the verbal put downs he has given you.

Now there's nothing else for you to do except either put up with it or leave. Demanding that he stop picking on you is a poor professional behavior, whether you tower over him or he is a huge bruiser. That's not how he's attacking you, not how you're getting pushed around. You are letting this guy kick your butt mentally. You are going nuts and are spending all your time worrying about it and are in the verge of leaving what is otherwise a very good job for you. For some reason or another, your supervisor seems unwilling to get involved. So it's your problem to deal with.

But what you say about him "dragging your name through the mud" is telling. When working with juvenile offenders, you try to show them that anybody with a mouth can talk trash about you or to you and you don't have to go through life taking to heart, telling off or suing or hitting anybody who gives you a bunch of particularly unfounded trash talk to the effect that you are no good, that you are doing something wrong, that you are not a worthy person. It leads to all sorts of ugly scenes. It's the trick that the skinny wimpy little guys learn. Honestly, sometimes the big intimidating looking guys like yourself are the ones who don't learn to deal with it, how let this sort of stuff roll off them. They just don't get that much practice.

Don't let this jerk have this power over you. If you were to go off and assault him, you know you would be the one who loses, in every way. Perhaps that's what he's trying for. But you are letting him destroy your peace of mind and he can only do that if you have given him permission. Seriously, this is not an insult, but maybe you need to talk to someone about your anger issues and how to deal with stress if you are worried you will "lose it" and go off on the guy. Talk to a good counselor who can provide you with some job coaching.

And if nothing is going to happen, you can't stand it, and you are going to decide to just leave, please find that next job before you leave. No, they won't likely tell your next prospective employers "there are a lot of unverified complaints and accusations" about you. Most companies do not go into their HR issues while giving references. They might also say you had trouble dealing with or getting along with some people in the workplace, and made numerous complaints about them, if they were going to get into all that stuff, but I suspect they won't. You've built this up in your mind and decided you have got to take some kind of action, but really, there's no choice except to stay or find another job. You seem like a nice but very stressed out person. Good luck to you.

 

[o2dvine]

Thank you for the advice. It's very much appreciated.