harassment/slander/emotional distress

[bubba2165]

To start with I live in Iowa. At my workplace we have an eval system. When it was my turn for an eval a individual prevented me from getting my raise. This individual is the bully on our shift, everyone bows down to him. Anyway, during this eval he made a comment about me that he would like to crack me in the head everytime he walks by me because I don't say Hello to him when we pass each other. I did not hear the comment because when doing an eval on someone they are asked to leave the room while the rest of the team evaluates them. Well someone (and it wasn't me, I didn't find out about the comments until about 2 months later) thought these type of comments to be wrong (which they are!) and reported it to the HR Manager. Basically this individual got a slap on the wrist and was told not to do it again. Now at work I am ridiculed. Comments are being made about me all of the time. I worked yesterday and 2 were made, 2 that I found about, I am sure there are more. What I am wanting to know is if there is anything I can do about this. I am going crazy. I have to hold back my tears at work everytime I hear someone has made a comment or the way the subltly treats me like crap. I don't want to go to work anymore, I dread taking breaks also. This place has made my life hell the last year. Is there anything I can do. I would appreciate any advice. After yesterdays comments I don't even know if I will go back to work Wed. Thank you.

 

[Beth3]

Bubba, you need to go back to the HR Manager and tell him/her what is going on, or find a new job asap, or both. It's possible your employer doesn't really know how bad this person's behavior is. Workplace bullies can be very adept at the "Eddie Haskell" routine and often hide their behavior when managment is around and of course have intimidated their co-workers into not reporting it.

If you have a co-worker who is an "equal opportunity" jerk, that is not against the law. Your employer's failure to deal with his behavior is very unfortunate but it is not illegal.

If this bully is singling you out for abusive treatment BECAUSE of your gender, race, religion, national origin, etc., then please post back and explain further - that would be prohibited harassment. But if he's just a school yard bully now grown into an adult, that's not illegal.

P.S. If he does make any further statements threatening physical violence, you may want to contact the police.

 

[bubba2165]

what if I am practically bullied out of the plant? This would not be the first time this has happened. This plant could go back of the just the last 2 1/2 years history that I have been there and contact about 10 (mostly women, some men though)people that have been bullied out because they did not conform to the bully and his partners ways. This team has made it hard to work there for a lot of people. Some who are still there but have no where to go, because like you said they are intimidated by the bully.
I have been looking for a job for a while now. But jobs are scarce where I live and I make a pretty good wage for this area. I am kind of stuck between a rock and hard place right now.

 

[cbg]

Beth's answer is correct. It is not illegal to be a bully.

 

[Beth3]

Bubba - nothing illegal has taken place.

I don't know why the employer hasn't dealt with this individual, given the turnover and morale problems he's causing, but their failure to do so is not against the law. Like I said, maybe they don't really know how bad it is. Management doesn't have a crystal ball or a Ouija board that tells them what's going on when nobody is looking.

I truly feel for your situation but your choices are limited to: (1) put up with it; (2) go back to management and make sure they understand how bad the situation is and the problems it's causing; (3) look for a new job.

I'm sorry - I wish I had a different answer for you or could tell you how to fix the problem but these are your choices.

By the way, bullies typically are cowards at heart and only pick on those they think will allow themselves to be bullied. Adopting a different attitude and refusing to be bullied might just cause some change in the dynamic. Of course it could also make things worse - you're the one at risk so you need to think this through and determine where your "I've had enough" line is.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Workplace bullies can be very adept at the "Eddie Haskell" routine . . .

My response:

I enjoyed the reference and comparison. Brought back wonderful memories of "Leave it to Beaver."

IAAL

 

[suslik]

i had a similar situation at work

I had a smilar situtiation at work with bullying that I was unable to handle until I learned how to.
I think it depnds on the victim's responce and self-confidence.
I had a problem for about a year and a half with my bosses.
One of them harrassed me whenever he was around by giving me extra work that I was not supposed to do and giving me additional responsibilities and bullying me for my mild attempts not to give me those tasks any more. He used to say: "Just do whatever I say I am the boss" He became abusive, made me cry when he was not in a good mood and made me feel guilty about the job that I could not do just because It was not my job.
So one day I told him to stop. He cannot do it any more, I am not afraid of him, and his hostile remarks make no effect on me. I refuse to do what he tells me to and there is nothing he can do.
He can fire me, but I am one of the best in the company. does he want to lose me? probobly not. I made a lot of money for the company for 3 years I had been there. I mentioned most of his remarks that he had given me in the past and told him about the effect they caused: depression, low self-esteem and sickness based on overstress. I asked him if he wantes to pay a person who is doing the job well, a person who is energetic and productive, or who is depressed and is unable to work well because of the boss's supression. It is his money anyway that he spends on salary. He was scared of all memories that I carried and was able to bring out. His hands were shaking, he tried to give excuses and tried to blame me for different things, but I did not care what he was talking about at that point, I was just going on with all that I thought about him. He stopped harrassing me since October 2001, he is still afraid of talking to me about anything except work.
Well that was an example of a boss.
I will give you another example of harassment from my coworker that happened today. She came up to me in the kitchen and asked me not to cook dumplings. I said why? she said that everybody is sick of the smell of the food that I cook. I knew that by everybody she implied herself only and asked 'Who is everybody anyway? YOU?' She said that the smell was stinky and that she will file a claim against me (tried to threaten-will not work with me). I said that if she or others had a problem with the smell she can go to management and handle it there. If management makes a decision about me not cooking my food at lunch I will stop cooking. She became mad and started to use swear words and abusing me, but that did not work either.
I told her that she is not my boss and I will not listen or obey her personal remarks. There is nothing she could do. I WON.
This was a good case of bullying.
I know that a year ago when I was depressed and ready to commit a suicide because of the bullying at work by different people, but I am different now I am not afraid any more and I do not feel any guilt, I also took some self-improvement courses in order to learn how to handle the difficult situtation and that would be my advise to you. I read the book called "Stop being manipulated" that helped me a lot. YOU need to change your ATTITUTE towards YOURSELF not to the bully.
And what happens next is that the bully chooses a next victim and forgets about you.
Please let me know what you think people about my message.
does any one have a similar experience?

 

[bubba2165]

Those were good examples. I will have to get that book. The additional problem that I have with my workplace is that the bully is now quiet because of his little talking to ( at least he is more discrete about it) but his cohorts are not. No one that is going through thier pay levels want to talk to me because it my jeopardize thier increase. We were work in partners at my job and no one want to work with me. I am trying to hold my head as high as possible right now. I will be done with my associates degree the first week of May and hopefully will be able to find other employment. (That is another reason why they are down on me they know I don't plan on doing factory work the rest of my life. Some days it is really hard to hold back the tears and embarrassment. Thank you for the help.

 

[suslik]

that sounds very familiar

Looks like they are afraid of you and that is why they do not partner with you. Even if you know that a lot of people are against you try not to take it personal when it comes to the communication with them regarding any issues at work. Just be as nice as possible and they will understand that you are very kind and that you like people, you just do not like the bully, and they will stop being afraid except for that bully that is not going to change. Bullies cannot be reformed, but other people who are against you right now CAN CHANGE.
Think of making something good for them, try to help when you can. For example bring a cake or snacks and do not officially announce that you brought them (as there is no big reason, you just felt good that day). If you do that once in a while that will make things better. Or say you have a universary and you want everybody to join your celebration for a couple of minutes. They will not be afraid of you as it is not directly work related and you cannot possibly do anything to jeopardize thier increase in pay.
And invite the bully too, just look how he or she will look at that moment (embarassed).
And whenever you are bullied never be silent or just leave without saying a word. Confront the bully in any way you can (try to be as polite as possible) by saying things like : Look at you. Are you any better? And when are you going to do...? What about your promise in ... about...? Try to make the conversation about the bully not about you and turn it into a joke. Never show that you got offended, as that is the only thing that the bully wants: TO SEE YOU CRY.
Your friend,
Yana

 

[v65wings38]

If you know the situation is not going to change. Look at law enforcement as an option. Bullies have a tendency to violate traffic laws.I am sure idiots like this like to speed going to work. If you don't want to be a police officer,then report him to the police department when you see him violating a traffic law and then make a citizens arrest.It is your right!It will make his day and he just might grow up!