How should this be handled...?

[trwilliams6926]

Missouri
Married party is sharing office and working with unmarried party. Relationship grows beyond work into personal lives and gets to the point they kiss at a party outside of work.
The married party decides it must end/stop and tells single party to back off/stop pursuing.
If single party continues to text/email/message married party outside work hours, and pushes married party to point of being uncomfortable at work sharing an office with lockable door and no windows... Should I notify the employer? Married party is my spouse. I work for the company as well in different department and know the owne well. The married party is scared to talk as it could result in relocation to different department and likes current job. Single party is also very good friends with owner personally, so some concerns about taking sides.

I feel notifying boss/owner and requesting they not share office space would be first step. If they refuse wouldn't that put company at risk of negligence if harassment suit were to come down the road? Leaving married party in environment subjected to potential harassment after being notified of issues seems pretty clear cut...?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Silverplum]

Missouri
Married party is sharing office and working with unmarried party. Relationship grows beyond work into personal lives and gets to the point they kiss at a party outside of work.
The married party decides it must end/stop and tells single party to back off/stop pursuing.
If single party continues to text/email/message married party outside work hours, and pushes married party to point of being uncomfortable at work sharing an office with lockable door and no windows... Should I notify the employer? Married party is my spouse. I work for the company as well in different department and know the owne well. The married party is scared to talk as it could result in relocation to different department and likes current job. Single party is also very good friends with owner personally, so some concerns about taking sides.

I feel notifying boss/owner and requesting they not share office space would be first step. If they refuse wouldn't that put company at risk of negligence if harassment suit were to come down the road? Leaving married party in environment subjected to potential harassment after being notified of issues seems pretty clear cut...?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It's the "married party's" decision whether or not to cheat. It's their job to keep it in their pants or not.

As an employer, I'd get rid of someone who couldn't handle his own business but expected me to fix it. MO is an "at-will" employment state.

 

[eerelations]

It's the married party's responsibility to make a complaint, not the married party's spouse. Employers are not legally required to do anything about harassment complaints made by anyone except the employees being harassed. (And no, just because you are the spouse of the one being harassed does not mean you are being harassed. You just happen to be close to someone who is being harassed.)

 

[cbg]

You seem to have an incorrect view of the employer's responsibility here. Your requesting that your spouse and the "single party" no longer share office space carries about as much legal weight as a request from me would carry.

If your spouse doesn't want any further contact with the other person, it's up to him/her to deal with it.

For the record, there is such a thing as third party harassment, but that does not appear to be the case here.

 

[Shadowbunny]

Missouri

If single party continues to text/email/message married party outside work hours, and pushes married party to point of being uncomfortable at work sharing an office with lockable door and no windows... .

"

Are you saying you think the single party would block the married party from the leaving? Or are you just concerned that your spouse would take advantage of the "lockable door and no windows" to continue to play footsies with his office-mate?

 

[trwilliams6926]

Only the harassed?

So under no circumstance can another employee file harassment against someone for harassment being done to another party?
So if the harasser is large, over-powering physically and mentally, makes harassee scared to do/say anything, and is very good friends with owner and makes harassee feel they have no option... It's just too bad, quit or put up with being trapped, scared or threatened (not in writing or provable)??

Keep in mind harassee has spent 5 years moving up Corp ladder and has won numerous internal awards for being exemplary employee, and on verge of being in line for executive role at company... So the only option is to tell the persons buddy (owner) and hope it works out, or quit??

Find it hard to believe other employees can't file formal complaints/charges for how uncomfortable/unfitting/inappropriate behavior as it's potential direct threat to them if harasser moves on to new target...

 

[Zigner]

So under no circumstance can another employee file harassment against someone for harassment being done to another party?
So if the harasser is large, over-powering physically and mentally, makes harassee scared to do/say anything, and is very good friends with owner and makes harassee feel they have no option... It's just too bad, quit or put up with being trapped, scared or threatened (not in writing or provable)??

Keep in mind harassee has spent 5 years moving up Corp ladder and has won numerous internal awards for being exemplary employee, and on verge of being in line for executive role at company... So the only option is to tell the persons buddy (owner) and hope it works out, or quit??

Find it hard to believe other employees can't file formal complaints/charges for how uncomfortable/unfitting/inappropriate behavior as it's potential direct threat to them if harasser moves on to new target...

Feel free to call in to "protect" your wife. Of course, she will likely be terminated since she would have NO protection based on such a complaint.

If you can't find it in yourself to trust your wife, then you ought to be looking at an exit plan.

 

[justalayman]

So under no circumstance can another employee file harassment against someone for harassment being done to another party?
So if the harasser is large, over-powering physically and mentally, makes harassee scared to do/say anything, and is very good friends with owner and makes harassee feel they have no option... It's just too bad, quit or put up with being trapped, scared or threatened (not in writing or provable)??

Keep in mind harassee has spent 5 years moving up Corp ladder and has won numerous internal awards for being exemplary employee, and on verge of being in line for executive role at company... So the only option is to tell the persons buddy (owner) and hope it works out, or quit??

Find it hard to believe other employees can't file formal complaints/charges for how uncomfortable/unfitting/inappropriate behavior as it's potential direct threat to them if harasser moves on to new target...

Do you have first hand knowledge of any harassment or are you depending on the word of your spouse? Unless you have first hand knowledge how do you know you aren't being played?

Without first hand knowledge you are rumor mongering. In my world that means you get fired

What is very odd is that op apparently cannot convince spouse to report this harassment, even with op a personal friend of the boss. To me that means op's spouse is telling op it's none of op's business.


I think op needs to have a serious conversation with spouse. I suspect op is in for a surprise.

 

[eerelations]

So under no circumstance can another employee file harassment against someone for harassment being done to another party?

Under the circumstances you've described, yep, that's how the law works. I think I have quite a bit more knowledge and experience in this area than you do.

 

[Shadowbunny]

"... It's just too bad, quit or put up with being trapped, scared or threatened (not in writing or provable)??

...

If it's not provable, then what would reporting it accomplish?

Your wife (or husband, I'm still not clear) needs to report the alleged harassment, or stop setting your hair on fire.

 

[cbg]

No one said, under NO circumstances.

But under the circumstances you've described, the only appropriate responses are either nothing, or your spouse complaining.

 

[Proserpina]

Spouse got busted and is trying to do as much damage control as possible and likely leaving some very pertinent facts out of the story relayed to the OP.

Mitigation = it's the Big Nasty Single Paramour's fault.