i am being harrassed

[kleefton]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY


I have been working at this company for almost two years. I came in as a temporary worker and was hired by the company after four months. I was presented with a very generous salary offer relative to the job that I am doing. At the time I thought nothing of it and thought how lucky I was. But the man who got me the job is the problem. This man is a financial controller of my division so he is in a very powerful position. I believe he may have given me the job for the wrong reasons.
At first I was so thankful of him for getting me this job that I really had high regards for him. He was my mentor and in some ways my savior because I was struggling big time when I got this job. So at first, we were friendly. But now, his true colors have been showing more and more and the job has become a total nightmare. He can be very rude sometimes and has thrown paperwork at me, snatched paperwork out of my hands. Other times I brought him paperwork for him to sign and he would refuse to sign them, telling me to come back tomorrow and for no reason at all. But that is not what I have the most issues with. I have also caught him looking at my physical private areas on occasion and I have caught him looking at me in an appropriate manner more than a few times. Sometimes I may be having conversation at my cubicle with another coworker and he walks by and turns around and looks at us talking, in a way that is very creepy. Other times he has sneaked behind me and stares at my computer as if he is checking on me. He is not even my direct supervisor, so he has no business checking on me.
There has also been one occasion we were out at a local bar for happy hour and he follows me in the restroom and had that crazy look in his eye, almost like he thought I was drunk enough so he could do something. The guy is absolutely sick, trust me.
By the way, I am a single male, this guy is married.
I have considered reporting him to HR, but our company’s HR dpt is very bizarre and they are very closely knit to the people that have been with the company longer, such as him. At the moment, the guy is not even talking to me and he seems to go out of his way to show me that he is ignoring me for some reason, which would be good for me, but I still catch him looking over and acting all creepy every now and then. What should I do? I am obviously being harassed by this man in more ways than one. I have considered quitting but I am worried they will deny me unemployment and that would hurt me too much financially. I really feel like I should sue, but I am not sure if I have a strong enough case since I don’t have willing witnesses. I have mentioned some (but not all, as I am embarrassed about mentioning the sexual harassment issues) of his actions to a couple of coworkers, but they always come to his defense. So what do I do?

 

[justalayman]

But that is not what I have the most issues with. I have also caught him looking at my physical private areas on occasion and I have caught him looking at me in an appropriate manner more than a few times.

How do you know what he is looking at and how does one look at you in an inappropriate manner?

Sometimes I may be having conversation at my cubicle with another coworker and he walks by and turns around and looks at us talking, in a way that is very creepy.

So? It isn't illegal to be "creepy"

Other times he has sneaked behind me and stares at my computer as if he is checking on me. He is not even my direct supervisor, so he has no business checking on me.

Have you talked with your supervisor about the situation?

There has also been one occasion we were out at a local bar for happy hour and he follows me in the restroom and had that crazy look in his eye, almost like he thought I was drunk enough so he could do something.

Sounds like you might be putting more into his crazy look that what is there.

What should I do? I am obviously being harassed by this man in more ways than one.

You either talk to your supervisor or HR. If you want something to be done, you have to speak to the people that have the ability to direct a change.

I really feel like I should sue, but I am not sure if I have a strong enough case since I don’t have willing witnesses.

from what you have posted here, you don't have any case but to have a case (sexual harassment I presume you are speaking of), you first have to allow the employer to remedy the situation. If they refuse to rectify the situation, then it might result in something you can sue for.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Being a creepy, controlling, irritable boss, is not illegal. If you are unhappy, find another job, don't try to get his.

 

[kleefton]

inappropriate manner means a lot of different things, sometimes it's an up and down stare, sometimes it's a roll of the eyes, whatever...it's always negative and it just makes you feel like the ****tiest person on earth. Don't give me the "you're reading more into it than what it is". BS. If you had witnessed it you'd understand it right away.


My wishes are not to get this man to be fired, I just want him to stop creeping me out or find a way to get out of there without jeopardizing my unemployment benefits. I am looking for other jobs, but it's not as easy as you think.

Thanks.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Wear loose fitting clothes if you are afraid he is checking out your package. There is not much you can do, if you are afraid he wishes to make a Xmas delivery.

 

[cbg]

Not all or even most of what you have posted is illegal regardless of whether it's "inappropriate". But you don't have ANYTHING close to enough to go to a regulatory agency if you haven't even spoken to HR about it. Only a fraction of what you've posted about is even close to what would be considered ILLEGAL harassment, and it's not outside the realm of possibility that your perception is wrong about that. So basically your options at this point are to go to HR, or suck it up. Your choice.

 

[commentator]

And as for jeopardizing your unemployment benefits, as you put it....you DO NOT have enough of a good reason to quit the job and have a prayer of being approved for unemployment benefits. At least not right now, based on what youare telling us.

Because they are only interested in whether you are not out of work through no fault of your own. They don't care whether or not you were being sexually harrassed, and care very little about how bad your boss is treating you. As someone else has said, being a really bad nasty mean bossy hateful uncooperative not nice boss is not illegal. It is just his management style, in the eyes of the unemployment system. To quit your job and be approved for unemployment, you must show you had a really valid job related reason to quit. (You were being asked to do something illegal, your paychecks were bouncing, my boss punched me in the face...not just "he was making me feel uncomfortable and being rude to me and looking at me funny.")

And the very first thing they are going to ask you, and this is going to have everything to do with whether you are determined to have a good reason to have quit the job if you do quit and file for unemployment insurance is "What did you do to try to resolve the situation before you quit?" And what are you going to say, "Nothing, he was really scary and really powerful, and I was like, afraid he'd fire me!"

If you are fired from your job, particularly in a situation like this, you'd be much more likely to be approved for unemployment benefits while looking for another job.

You need to start by clearly and professionally telling him, the next time he does the google eyes at you, "I do not like the way you are looking at me. Please stop it." Of course he will want to argue and deny and all those things, but you need to give him the notice that his behavior is both unwelcome and inappropriate. If h chases you into a bathroom in a non-work, or even a work situation, and touches you inappropriately, call the police and file an assault charge against him. Right then!

If he treats you rudely in a work situation, tell him you do not appreciate it, and that you are doing your best. Be polite and professional always. Keep records of when you said and did this, and what he did and you did. Tapes aren't necessary, just keep a written record, for your eyes only, of what happened on what date.

That's the first step. If it gets no better, then talk to HR. Don't say, "Oh HR is weird around here, I'm scared of them." That's not an excuse. They are the next formal step in the process. If you express your problem to them and your complaints about his behavior, and they fire you, like I say, you're really going to have a fine chance of being approved to draw unemployment from that. Really.

But if you just quit the job, and you file a lawsuit against the company and him for sexual harrassment, they're both going to say, "We didn't have any idea she felt this way. We were completely unaware anything was going on that was a problem!" There is not going to be any case there.

And if you file for unemployment after you quit like this, they'll say the claim is denied because the claimant did not make any effort to resolve the problem before they quit the job.

 

[kleefton]

ok, thanks for the advice, commentator. Your response was what I was hoping for.