i dont know what to do...

[cetiya]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wa. I have a meeting in the morning with my big boss and don't know if I want to tell him the whole story or to be silent about it.
So... a couple months ago a new supervisor yelled at me so aggressively that I was cowering in fear. She's yelled at other people, its sorta her management style. Ive been a victim of violence and I haven't cowered in fear since him. Also noone has ever yelled at me in that fashion at a place of work in my whole work history.
not only was she out of line, she was completely wrong, but refused to believe me when I tried to tell her.
She called me incompetent to my _ andface then told the day shift supervisors that I'm incompetent. She hates me and wants me gone. I've been afraid to say anything cos I still have to work with her and she will be furious if I dare complain about her,
I don't.feel safe around her, if she can yell at me over nothing, god forbid I make a real mistake.
I don't know if I should tell him the truth, or keep my mouth shut. There is a possibility of switching my schedule around so I can get off her rotation
But I would need to tell him the truth and I'm scared every thing I say will gp back to her and things will be worse.
I know this isn't legal harrassment but I didn't know where to post this. Also please forgive amy typos, I'm using my cell phone

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wa. I have a meeting in the morning with my big boss and don't know if I want to tell him the whole story or to be silent about it.
So... a couple months ago a new supervisor yelled at me so aggressively that I was cowering in fear. She's yelled at other people, its sorta her management style. Ive been a victim of violence and I haven't cowered in fear since him. Also noone has ever yelled at me in that fashion at a place of work in my whole work history.
not only was she out of line, she was completely wrong, but refused to believe me when I tried to tell her.
She called me incompetent to my _ andface then told the day shift supervisors that I'm incompetent. She hates me and wants me gone. I've been afraid to say anything cos I still have to work with her and she will be furious if I dare complain about her,
I don't.feel safe around her, if she can yell at me over nothing, god forbid I make a real mistake.
I don't know if I should tell him the truth, or keep my mouth shut. There is a possibility of switching my schedule around so I can get off her rotation
But I would need to tell him the truth and I'm scared every thing I say will gp back to her and things will be worse.
I know this isn't legal harrassment but I didn't know where to post this. Also please forgive amy typos, I'm using my cell phone

If you don't tell the truth, your employer has no reason to change your schedule.

Unfortunately though, I think you're between a rock and a hard place. The supervisor is obviously scaring you somewhat, but she's doing it to everyone. Would there be anybody else who might confirm what you're saying?

Another coworker?

 

[cetiya]

i've seen and heard with my own eyes and ears, her yelling at other people. so i do have other people who can testify to having been yelled at, but noone was at the desk when she yelled at me.

 

[cbg]

This is not a legal issue. It is not illegal for her to yell at you. Or anyone.

 

[commentator]

You are an adult here. An adult who is trying to work and earn a living. You have a job. Hopefully you are doing your best on this job. You have no business cowering in fear of anyone. Your supervisor hates you. Okay, she already hates you. How much worse can she hate you?

You say "It's sort of her management style." Exactly! If it works for her, that's great (for her.) And if no one complains or informs her higher ups that they don't care for her management style, there's certainly going to be no change, is there? If she can intimidate you and scare you and have you cower in fear, it makes her feel great. It makes her feel important. She probably tells her supervisor she is "whipping you into shape!" If she can scare you into leaving, or threaten you with such horrible retribution that you voluntarily quit, she has certainly achieved her goal, which was to get RID of you.

But even if you quit the job, and you go on and file for unemployment insurance, and you tell them that you quit because your supervisor was verbally abusive to you and that she yelled and screamed at you, you know what is the first thing they're going to ask you? They're going to say, "What did you try to do to resolve the situation before quitting the job?"

If you just say, "Well, I had a meeting with the big boss, but I was afraid to tell him just how awful it was, for fear it would get back to her, so I didn't say anything, and then it got worse, and I quit!" then you very likely will not be approved for unemployment. All your over-boss has to say is, "Well, I had no idea there was a problem, so I couldn't do anything to fix it!"

There is no labor law that says you have to be treated fairly or kindly or not yelled at on the job. You may never have had such a thing happen to you before in all your life, and that's nice, but that it's happening now gives you two options. You can continue to work there, try to work the situation out, deal with your supervisor's behavior, or you can quit the job.

No one is legally going to care that she yells at people. In fact, if her department becomes more productive, if she gets rid of the problem workers, if things bubble along happily, as far as management can see, then she is a wonderful successful supervisor.

The most effective response to someone who loses their dignity and yells and screams and threatens on the job is to be quiet, professional and dignified. Say quietly, "I do not appreciate you talking to me this way. Why can't we work things out like adults instead of raising our voices like this? What is it you are trying to tell me?"

So what's she going to do next, after she yells at you? Hit you? If this happens, and believe me, I have actually seen these bully boy supervisors of both sexes escalate to the point where they throw things, punch employees, bang their heads against walls, but if this happens, walk calmly out of the area, call the police, and press assault charges against her.

It's just a temper tantrum done for scare effect. If it scares you, if you cower, it worked. Tell your overboss exactly what is happening. Tell him how this makes you feel, how you feel this is hindering you from doing your best for the company. You have nothing to lose. Your boss hates you anyway. If the truth makes her madder, so be it. Do not threaten to quit, threaten him with legal action, or cry and become overly dramatic while you are telling him. Do not use wild rhetoric or describe her as a screaming monster or exaggerate exactly what she has done and said that you have personal knowledge of.

Just say, "I want us to work this issue out in a professional manner. I wanted you to be aware of this situation." Write the word "professional" on your hand. Remember this is what you are. Good luck to you.

 

[cetiya]

Thank you for your thoughtful advice commentator. I haven't talked to my boss yet. Ill be calm and professional when I do. In my work place it is a big deal when people start yelling. No one yells at each other. Its not acceptable. Thanks all for the advice