Male on Male Harrassment

[Dobbs]

I live in Indiana, and there's this guy at my new job that's very "touchy" "feely" with the other guys. It's usually just hanging on our shoulders, or play tickling our stomachs. I'm not homophobic, and it never really bothered me, just made me laugh a little bit. Well yesterday I was standing by a counter talking to another employee when all of the sudden this guy comes up behind me, grabs my shoulders and rams his knee into my tailbone/buttocks a few times extremely hard. I turned around and threw a punch out of instinct (missed him) and told him off. I had a cyst removed from my tailbone when I was a kid and that area is very tender for me. Now today my tailbone feels bruised, and the more I think about it the more upset I get. I should NOT have to go to work dealing with stuff like that. And though I'm sure it won't happen again after I told him off, I still have to work today with a bruised tailbone that doesn't feel too pleasant.

My question is, is it to late to mention this to my boss today? Am I just painting a target on my head by reporting male on male harassment like this? I really need my job and am very embarrassed about having to talk about this. Any help or recommendations are greatly appreciated.

 

[justalayman]

My question is, is it to late to mention this to my boss today?

no but you should have mentioned the "touchy feely" issue long ago. Not only is that considered a battery if the touching is unwanted, it is sexual harassment and has no place in the workplace by anybody to anybody.

the courts ruled long ago that sexual harassment is not based on the gender of either party.

Your employer has a duty to take action to prevent the harassment. His failure to do so can cause a great deal of liability on the company so in reality, you are doing the boss a favor.

 

[Beth3]

My question is, is it to late to mention this to my boss today?

Of course not and you definitely should. You don't have to put it in the context that the guy may be gay and coming onto you and others if you're not comfortable putting it that way (you don't know whether that's even the case.) No matter what, his behavior is totally inappropriate at work and he injured you. The boss needs to tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to back off, keep his hands and knees to himself and that the kind of "joking around," touching, and horseplay he's engaging is inappropriate and needs to stop immediately. (BTW, the majority of gay men don't behave this way. No matter what this employee's sexual orientation is, he does not know how to comport himself professionally and appropriately.)

If there's another problem, tell the boss and HR right away.

 

[Betty]

Your boss/HR needs to see that his behavior stops but that is all they have to do. They don't have to tell you what they said to the employee, what action they took against the employee ....

If it doesn't stop after reporting it, then report it again.

 

[Hot Topic]

Your co-worker's "playfulness" has morphed into a physical attack. He has, in fact, "softened" you up so that he could become more physically aggressive. And I suspect he'll try to make you out to be someone who's not a "good sport."

Report every incident and make it clear to him that he is being reported.